i still love the father of my son, but he dont love me anymore..he just want my son.i dont know how to forget him.he's my only one

Sheryl - posted on 03/03/2009 ( 141 moms have responded )

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ireally love him..im so hurt when he texten and told me that he wanst want to get bact together again.he just want my son and not to build are family..im so hurt, i really want to move on but i dont know how long will i suffer for the pain..i still love him..im not attracted to any man either.i really want to forget him but it was so difficult for me avrytime we talk.

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Yvette - posted on 03/08/2009

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I do not know if you are a Christian, but the question should be what does the Lord want for me!  The Lord will not give you a broken gift.  He gives you the best he has!  The next and most important question is does this man you are willing to sell your soul to for nothing at all know Jesus...if you have to explain it, he is hurting you, or you have to think about that for a moment, then the answer is NO! 



Don't get me wrong, I love the "idea" of being in love, but the truth is no matter how I try the father of my child is not my husband and after wasting a decade of my life with him I am all too aware of how catastophic it is not to value youself as much as God does!



First love yourself through the Lord, then you have the ability to love your son and ultimately the HUSBAND he has for you.  Perhaps the Lord has turned your childs fathers heart so you can finally move to where you are supposed yo be!



 



Love in Christ.

Diane - posted on 03/07/2009

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Do you know Jesus? He can fill every void in you heart. Find a good church and get hooked in there. Stay busy, don't sulk, take care of you and that gorgeous baby. My husband of 15 yrs. just died and I have 2 kids. I know what I am talking about. He sounds like he could use some prayer to. He probably will do the same to another girl. It is never about you. It is always about them. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get on with it. You will look back one day and see how far you have come and will be amazed at the grace of our God! He is big enough for both of us.Love to you girl!

Linh - posted on 03/06/2009

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Although I stil miss the good times with the father of my children, I no longer wish for us to be together and it is no longer painful to accept that the good times for the two of us is over. I was able to do this by taking one day at a time and living each moment to the fullest. I also realized that it is ok not to have a man in your life when you are not ready for it and that there is all kinds of love to appreciate (like friends, cousins, sisters, mothers, nieces and nephews, etc.). I realized that I needed to build a more balance life and once I did I felt stronger and now I think I'm ready to start dating and taking my time for find real, mature, lasting love.

Kayleigh - posted on 07/10/2014

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My sons father left me for another girl when my son was five months old.He used to text me just to hurt me emotionaly ,he would say I'm ugly and he wish he never had met me and he wants nothing to do with that thing(our son)I'm a bad mother ect.aftr that we got back together for a few months and he did the same thing again.the other girls child is the same age as mine. Bt the child is another mans child. There are days when I want to die bcos of the hurt I have inside me sometimes I can't cope. Everyday I pray for strenght for myself and my son. As much as I love my sons father. I've decided to let go although it hurts. I knnow God has something beautifull in store for me.

[deleted account]

I was in that heartbroken stage years ago. Don't make long lasting decisions about your child's future based on your current feelings or reactions to what he is saying or doing (he may not mean everything he says right now).  Find someone who can guide you like a pastor or trusted friend or family member.  Pray and please give yourself the gift of time...

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141 Comments

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Michellepope - posted on 08/18/2014

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Hi I know how you feel I still love the father of my kids but he's moved on to dating I cry all the time I can't eat I'm a mess but I'm trying

Altagracia - posted on 02/17/2014

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hi i have a baby boys with a man,but i always talk bad with him and tell him i don t want him,i always past and front of him with man,sleep with boys he know,but he always accept me back,but now he just meet a jamaica girl and he said that he don t want me anymore,he don t take of my son,he don t call,he just change,but i feel something for him but he s late cuzz the girl is pregnant for him,what can i do plzz

Ann - posted on 02/13/2014

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I'm going to be brutally honest. Okay I've been in your situation before and the end result was NOT good. But before I tell you about my experience, I will sum up my advice to you:
1. Try to date or hook up with a new guy even if you're still pining your ex, because lacking a guy will make it THAT much harder to emotionally get over your ex. They say "the easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else." Sadly, I know this to be true.
2. You need to desperately improve your writing skills and most likely pursue an education. Guys are not attracted to dumb sounding girls, especially if the girl is already emotionally needy and carrying emotional baggage from a prior guy. Guys will not see you to have long term potential if you talk the way you write.



Okay my experience. I say DO NOT mope around waiting for the possibility your ex will let you back, because that will just backfire and then you'll resent yourself and him. I did this and I felt so stupid afterwards. Then I was still left empty handed, but now had lowered self esteem and insecurities on top of wasting my time...which made it that much harder to attract or retain guys once I established that I would not want my ex back ever again. It created a vicious catch 22.


Also, staying chaste for your ex will most likely be perceived by him as a turn OFF, not a turn-on (unless he's the possessive controlling sexist type who thinks you shouldn't be looked at by another man, but in that case you shouldn't want an a**hole like that anyway). Guys want the in-demand, hot commodity...not the readily available, excessively loyal chick who stays as inactive as last year's unsold merchandise put out on the clearance shelf at a store.


So that is why I think you should allow yourself a few days to grieve the loss of his relationship, and then force yourself to get out there and meet up with a new guy.

Keila - posted on 01/20/2014

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I understand exactly the pain you feel.. my ex of 4 years and i broke up. I found out he was a coke head after our son was apprehended.. temp. I moved out. We were to be married.. i then fell off the wagon and started drinking heavily... i now need to go to rehab to get my son back... it seems so hopeless... like.. how will i ever have my son again...

User - posted on 12/22/2013

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I've been there sweetie.. It hurts but stay strong. Your son is your family, your ex is missing out.. Live for your son and don't you worry, things will get better :)

Lindsay - posted on 12/02/2013

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I cant believe all these scammers are every page of this forum and editors not doing anything about this.

I wanted to tell you I am going through the same. When I realized how much time was wasted worrying about this. Every feeling, thought and time spent on these **** is a waste. I focused on work, making more than him now, keeping busy is the thing, let him worry, if you put your focus on something else you will see he will slowly disappear. He also knows he can walk all over you, that is why he doesnt want it.

Gia - posted on 11/28/2013

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i think es such a hard thing to go through. i am very sorry to you. always you will think about him y the pain it will never go away. but en time, it can get better, like to dull the pain. you es have to learn to push him out of your head, there he will be always but if can distract yourself y just keep practising it can get better.

Margarita - posted on 11/13/2013

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U need to move on sometime it was meet to be..and find someone that loves u..

Carmen - posted on 11/08/2013

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High hope things worked out for you just trying to see how that went with your childs father I no it's hard I am currently going through the same thing....

Patrice - posted on 03/08/2009

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Im so sorry to hear you are going through this I must say that it hurts to love your childs father and not recieve the love back. Honey you will make it through this you will see sunshine after the rain. You should just pray and ask GOD if it is in his will for you guys to be together and if so for GOD to show you. You have to be careful about what you ask for.....from experience things happen and at the time it seems to be devasting like my DIVORCE..but really instead of it being devasting it was actually a deliverance....a deliverance from years of sorrow and heartbreak and me loosing myself because of a man....so just give it some time.....i hope it works out!

Dannielle - posted on 03/08/2009

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i knw how it feels my sons father left us an started seeing a 15teen year old. my son hasnt seen his dad for over a year an didnt even hear from him on his third bday. thay nw live in queensland together an when they first got together he was still telling me that he loved me an wonted me bck only to find out that he was only doing it to hurt me.



 

Sheryl - posted on 03/08/2009

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why there are such a men who can leave their family..is it true that they will have a karma for leaving their child and be with a new girl.he dont even txt or call me to ask how are we or even he's son..he doesnt answer my call and txt.and he's new life..after work, go to nightlefe and have fun..i dont understand, he dont have conscience.

Nicola - posted on 03/07/2009

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i know how u feel, i have just split form my partner, i still love him very much,



its so hard to try and move on, to get on with life without him, and its not fair.



i went thought a really hard time with my little girl she was 11 weeks early and very ill, so was i, i feel like he has let me down by giving up on me and the girls, my ex has moved on he has a new life and girlfriend and its only been 7 weeks andi am like u i cant even look at anyone else cos know one compares to him even though he has hurt me alot and i should hate him.. if u ever need to talk this is my hotmail naughtylittlewitch@hotmail.co.uk

Elizabeth - posted on 03/06/2009

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i know how your feeling, i was with my childrens dad for 6 years, he cheated on me when my fist was 3 weeks old, we spilt up and back together and had our 2nd son, whos now 3, we spilt up again cos he kept cheating nnd i took him back again last summer now i got 6 weeks to go untill our little girl is here, we havent heard or seen himsince nov 08, he said he wants nothing to do with the children, cos the girl hed ben seeing is expecting 3 weeks after me and he wants to build a family with her, i wish that the frist time we'd spilt up id stayed away from him cos alls he done is broken my heart over and over again, but them even with all the heart ache i wouldnt of had my two boys and little girl on the way,, im finding it hard at mo, cos he was there when the boys were born and he wont be this time. but ive got to stay strong and i will never be going back there, (how many times have i said that before????) i always thought mummy and daddy together but it doesnt always work no matter how much u care or love that person, it takes two. im sure one day i will meet someone, but i do worry about how they will be with the children and how id react to them being with them but untill that day ill never know, your not the only one in this boat but just keep telling your self you can do it and there is someone out there for me and my child and enjoy what you have with little one, cos daddy is the one missing out not you.. xxx

Shellene - posted on 03/05/2009

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From someone who thought that she was IN LOVE with her babies daddy, years ago. He is now my ex-husband and my current husband is the true love of my life. He is a wonderful man and treats me like I deserve to be treated, not like my ex did. I knwo that it is hard now, but at some point you will be able to look back on it and realize that he is not worth your sorrow. Just whatever you do, don't put your percious baby in it..

Sheryl - posted on 03/05/2009

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Quoting Unathi:

oh sweety i am in the same boat, just pray 4 him 2 come vack 2 u



thank you for the reply..i dont know..i always pray for him..but he told me that he doesnt want us to get back together again.im so hurt..so painfull

Sheryl - posted on 03/05/2009

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Thank you very much to all who response to me..you know wht, evryday, im so hurt..esp when i dream of him that he has a new girl.i dont know really how to forget him.i dont know if i will like someone new..as of now, he's the only man that i want because of my son,i have lots of question in my mind.if i met someone new, wil he accept my son and treat like a real son?also, im so hurt evryday, evrytime i feel what he has say to me that he doesnt want us to get back together again..and that if he will see each other, its just for our son.im so hurt with that..i cant focus also with my carreer.i resign with my work.and i dont have job for 2 months.i dont have income.my savings is going to bankrupt..im so hurt and lost.i pitty for my son having a broken family living the two of us,my son, likes a father image..oh my God, i dont know..i cried almost evry night..

June - posted on 03/03/2009

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I think it is important to think about your self in this situation. Even though all you want to do is to be with your ex, go and see other friends (I don't know what I would have done without my friends when I was in the same situation) - go out and try to have fun when your son is with his father, have some "grown up time" on your own, and first of all - don't try to push him back in your diriction. He probably knows where you stand, and only by seeing that you are a individual person that manages without him, will he be able to se how he really feels about loosing you. And yeah - IT'S HIS LOSS!



You'll find someone better - in the mean time - you'll have plenty of good times with you'r son:-)



Good luck with everything from Norway!:-)



P.S. I just bought my self my very own sailboat - a 31 feet long ocean-sailer with 5 beds. Let me know when you come;)

[deleted account]

I was there not that long ago. Just say a prayer about it all. It all takes time, nothing happens instantly so give it some time and you will get over it. It took me a couple years to get over my ex, but after the first 6 months he stopped comming to visit our son. Now it has been 2 years since he has seen him and that makes it easier to not care about him. All my ex wanted was to claim our son on taxes. Only time will tell you what his intentions are, but dont keep yourself tied to him because if will only hurt you in the long run.

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