If u are not wit the father but still love him even if it hurts you should you let him come around a

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Crystal - posted on 10/22/2009

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only let your child around you dont need to be around because childern can pick up on your hurt feelings

Jemma - posted on 10/21/2009

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I am in the same situation, well maybe even worse because we go and stay at his place as he is an hour's drive from where we (me and his daughter live) She is just six months and I am still in love with her dad even if where not together. He isn't the best dad at all and that's why I make the effort for my daughter's sake for her to get to know him and be apart of his life.

He doesnt do much for her but i figure just having him in her life will be enough for now until he feels he can take on the responsibilty of having her by himself.

Just have to take it one step at a time, don't push him he may just back off completely and you don't want that for your child's sake.

Good Luck and take care

Angela - posted on 10/21/2009

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You need to do what's in the best interest of your child. My kids are grown now but when their father decided to no longer be with me yes I still loved him but I put the kids first. It took a few years but I moved on. You should check your feelings for him and make him be a parent because it took 2 to make your child it should to raise the child.

Nicky - posted on 10/21/2009

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u know what hon...my son is now nine last summer was the first time in 6yrs that he has seen his dad. it was the best thing that i could have done. dont deny the child the right to know theier other have. i know exactly what ur talking about but it will hurt ur little one in the end.

Tammy - posted on 10/21/2009

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To start with it depends on what you mean about coming around. Is he coming to your house to hang out or is he coming around to just pick the child up? Is he consistently just running in and out of your child’s life, because if he is this is not good for the child. You have to make this about the child, the best interest of the child. Is he a fit father? If he is then he should only be around long enough to pick the child up and drop the child off to fulfill his parental responsibilities. If he is not fit then regardless of how you feel he should not be around your child. Being a father comes with certain responsibilities and if he is accepting those responsibilities he has every right to see the child, if he isn't then he doesn't. Your personal feelings toward him, no matter what they are, have no bearing on him being in your child’s life, even if it may be hard for you to bear. It does get easier.Good Luck!

Ashley - posted on 10/21/2009

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Thank you, he was seeing his father until he came back smelling like smoke and diaper hadnt been changed and it feels like he is leavin me everytime he drops him off and that hurts the wost!

Chantel - posted on 10/21/2009

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I will be honest and say that I hate my daughters father BUT I never talk negatively about him in front of her. She is a part of him so I would be talking bad about her also. If he wants to be a part of your childs life then you should let him be there. Your relationship with him is different than the relationship he should have with your child. Your child deserves to have a father in their life... if they're going to be there!!!! If he's not a good positive role model for your child then play it safe and get with a lawyer to get a custody agreement. Good luck.

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