if ur a single mom is the dad in the childs life?

- - posted on 03/06/2011

My son's father & I broke up for good 5 months ago.
He is still involved in our son's life. They spend weekends, and some weekdays together. :)

Danielle - posted on 09/25/2010

my sons father is not in his life. his dad and i will talk on the phone every now and then but have not heard a thing from him in almost 2 months. at times i feel bad that my son is missing that father figure but then i feel like he is better off. my son is only going to be 6 and wants nothing to do with his father. he has 2 daughter 3 & 1 and is a great father to them and i somethimes wish he could have been that with my child but he decided to move to another state and thats when the new wife and kids came along. his wife and i talk and she tells me that he is a good dad to the girls i say well hes a shitty one to his son. she deals with alot from him and is determined to keep her marriage together but he is one o them bd that call when they fight to get back with me. sorry NO.

Sandra - posted on 09/21/2010

im a single mum to a 20mth old little boy his daddy isnt in his life at all and has never wanted to be i do feel sorry for my son that he doesnt have to loving parents in his life but it was his dads choice not to be around and i think i do a fantastic job on my own yes its very hard but very rewarding and wouldnt change a thing

Tia - posted on 09/20/2010

my son's father isn't in his life.. and I don't feel bad.. I gave him chances to be there. so I know I'm not the one messing up

Rosemarie - posted on 09/20/2010

Don't feel bad because its not ur fault just do what u got to do for ur child and if his choice was not to be there its just his lost.......I recently separated from my hubby and he's still in my daughters life but because she was so use to seeing him everyday. i think its affecting her that now she only see him every weekend. so she constantly ask for him.

Sarah - posted on 09/19/2010

No i have two children one ten and one six weeks and both dont see their father if you can call them hat i call them bthe sperm donors cos thats all their good for!! But i got what i wanted and i couldnt imagine havin to share my babys with any one including the sperm donors!!!!!!!

Alicia - posted on 09/18/2010

im a single mommy. and my son is now 4 months old. i have known my babies dad since i was 3. he cheated on me when i was 14 and got another woman pregnant... and wen i turned 17 i took him back... why you ask idk??? because i loved him and thought he would change. i left him wen my son was 3 months old he is now almost 5. he doesnt see him and if i ask him if he wants to he curses at me and calls me bad names... i left him because he was angry and mean and yelling at me in front of my son and he does not need that at all. i love my son more then nething thats why i took him out of that situation... i thought we would be together forever but things change i love my son toooooooo much to keep him in an environment like that!

Lisa - posted on 09/18/2010

ive been a single parent for 6yrs. i finally just moved in w? my b/f and have allowed him to take over some of the responsiblities of being a dad/ he is great at it though it is hard to let someone else in it feels so good to have a complete family. After 6 yrs jordan real father wants to start a weekly phone conversations with him and i dont feel right about it. he only makes contact one ever 3_4 yrs and it just leaves jordan with unanswered questions. jordan has struggled with certain feelings and questions about his dad but he still loves him. even though he dosent know him. i dont wanna b responsuble for them not having a relationship but i dont want my son to disappointed please help

Divina - posted on 09/17/2010

my childs father has not been in here life for more than 3 years already, he decided to stay with another woman with 4 kids.. its okay with me. and my daugther is okay with it being not with her father she doesnt even know that she has one.. we are better not having him around. and it was also my choice of letting go of him. no regrets

Jennifer - posted on 09/17/2010

my boys father is not in there life whatsoever at all and hasnt been in my 7yr olds life since hes been 6mos old he started to once his gf now ex gf made him.. than he stopped once they broke up he denied my 4yr old until he was court ordered to pay child support now hes got nothing to do with them and hasnt over a yr and half and i dont care but it does make me mad cause they dont know who there father is and that hes missing out on all the good things that these boys have accomplished.. but they have my bf who loves them to death so that makes up for there father not being in there life...

Tara - posted on 09/17/2010

Well my 2 boys father is a paycheck Dad, and thats only cause it is directly taken out its not willingly...lol Their father is just a bum and only thinks about his needs so if he isn't benefiting himself then he doesn't come around. He has a new girlfriend who does not want him around me at all she stands behind him when he calls to speak to the boys to make sure that we are not talking to each other (pathetic). He choose his new girlfriend over his kids and does so all the time if she doesn't want him to see the boys then he wont. My 13yr old thinks he is an ass and has no desire to have a relationship with him, my 9yr old on the other hand gets really upset when he doesn't show up when he says he will and that pisses me off. He will wait by the window looking for him to pull up and it kills me to see how upset he is. My 2 girls father is a useless drug addict who will never change and needs to stay far away. I finally left him after the beatings got so severe and then he started to hit the kids so it was time to go. I am a recovering addict and have been clean for a while now so I know that when your getting high you are a completely different person, but that is not the case with him he is pure evil straight or high so I want him to stay away. It just gets my girls all upset when he calls cause he will call and tell them he got something for them and he is gonna come see them then we wont hear from him for a month, and that is just not healthy for my little girls. I am perfectly happy with raising them all on my own and they are all very well adjusted and happy kids so good riddence to the both of those donors!

D'Ericka - posted on 09/17/2010

i grew up without a dad an from the looks of things my kids are gonna grow up the same wayy. Their father has alot goin on with him 2 other kids by 2 dffrnt girls never has money cuz he's on child support at this point he is useless and couldnt do a damn thing for mines!!i dealt with so much of his bull just so my kids wouldnt grow up like i did but i grew up without a dad and i turned out pretty darn good and as long as im their mother my kids will be fine too :-) Dont feel bad about ur sons dad not bein in his life cuz karma is real...believe dat!!!!!!!!!

April - posted on 09/17/2010

My son hardly ever sees his father! When he does see him it's at his father's convenience of course. But I try to make up for it the best way I know how.........love him more, cuddle him more and just be there!!!

Lakeisha - posted on 09/17/2010

My daughter is 11 years old and she couldn't tell you what her father looks like, his choice. He wasmuch older than me when I got pregnant and he wanted out. My son is about to be 2 and his father is into drugs and not interested in being a dad. Its hard to accept at first because you want them to be there. Then its hard to explain to the child but as they grow older they will realize they they are loved regardless of daddy being there or not.

Amy - posted on 09/17/2010

My daughters dad hasn't been in her life since she was 8. She remembers him, so it's sad. He told her straight to her face that he never wanted to see her or me again. Asshole

Carmen - posted on 09/16/2010

My son's going to be one on the 5th of October. His "dad" was only there for him for two months out of his whole life. His "dad" doesnt respect me..and he expects me to be nice to him..n let him see Riley. Why should I be nice if he's not respecting me at all??? He has no idea how hard it is being a single mother. Living from pay check to pay check. He still hasnt gave me a dime...since March of this year.

Charity - posted on 09/13/2010

My daughters biological father is not in her life, but she has a male role model in ehr life and thats my boyfriend.My daughter loves him to pieces and calls him dadda and will choose him over me sometimes..yes its hard but shes only 9 months old and i rather her have a good life than be treated badly with her biological father..he chose to walk out of our lives and to me that was the happiest day of my life...yes it sounds mean, but if he denies his daughter than hes not worth the time to be in her life...my daughter is the world to me and i wont let anyone hurt her as long as i live...yes it was hard sometimes when i was alone and had no one to help out, but when i found "mr right" i knew i didnt have to worry about that and i knew my daughter would get the love and attention she deserves, so dont beat yourself up, he chose to leave so you move on and move forward and do whats right for you and your son...good luck

Cheryl - posted on 09/13/2010

My daughter's father is in her life. we split up in march and he has seen her all the time since. he see's her 4 times a week. :) i'm glad that he still wants to see her and helps out with diapers and food,clothing etc. he knows even though we are not together that "our" daughter shouldnt suffer because of it.

Caitlyn - posted on 09/13/2010

I know my daughter is not here yet, but she will behere soon, and I know hes not going to be in my childs life. He dosnt deserve to be in her life after every thing he put me and her through so far. hes a cheat, an alcoholic, liar, hateful, and abusive...We are both better off without him. My daughter is what saved me. and for him, holding on to his negitive lifestyle and habbits is more important then MY beautiful and healthy little girl. Shes going to be amazing and I KNOW IT. and I WILL BE THERE for everything for her!!! I can be both mommy and daddy. :)

Tracie - posted on 09/12/2010

I am a single mother of a 2 year old daughter. About 5 months ago her father moved to Florida. He never calls, I have to call him when my daughter cries for him so she can talk to him. I am going to stop having her call because if he doesn't want to be around i cant force him. It breaks my heart when she cries for him or asks for him but you cant MAKE someone be a father. I am going to do the best i can for her, be both parents and make sure she is happy. Thats all I can do.

Sarah - posted on 09/12/2010

omg ur story sounds so similar too mine these men don't deserve gorgeous kids, i had to write to my daughter dads mum and dad to tell them they even had a granddaughter coz he didn't even have the bottle to do that, they both take kylah out and his nan and grandad now rent me a house a few streets away from him which caused friction between him and his family, they want something to do with kylah but he doesn't and it worries me in some ways coz she's bound to ask more questions and wonder why they r there but he isn't, its hard when u live really close by too, when i see him in the street he just puts his head down and bikes or walks away, it makes me so angry but at the end of the day i don't want kylah to have a dad that doesn't care 100% so she's better off without him. hope you carry on being a strong single mum and as long as she knows that u left the door open and did as much as u cud to have him involved which i feel i have then thats all that matters, i always say i'm just gona love her double.x

Pat - posted on 09/12/2010

hi ashlie,I wouldnt feel bad its not your fault,your son has you that what matters.thats properly what ur ex wants you to do feel bad but dont pat xx

Rhonda - posted on 09/12/2010

I am a single mom of 2 beautiful little girls ages 7 and 8 now but when i divorced their father, they were 2 and 3, my oldest was daddy's little girl. She missed him terribly when were first split up and had trouble going to sleep and asked about him often. Now she is older and knows that it was for the best. She can remember him hitting me and all of his drinking binges. Not what I would like my daughter to remember about her father. My youngest really doesn't remember how things were back then (which I think is great). My oldest has been and still does go to therepy to try to deal with this. She has anger issues over the whole ordeal. I wish I had left him sooner. He hasn't seen them much since the divorce only about 3 or 4 times and never calls them for special days like birthdays and christmas and they want to know why and why daddy didn't get them a gift. We are much better off without him and happier without him.

Mackenzie - posted on 07/23/2010

my daughters father pretty much comes and goes as he pleases, he lives in another state which makes it harder to be able to visit but calling to "talk" to her or check on her would even make it better then he would be making an effort, i am all alone. i luckily have my gma to help me so shes basically the daddy in this situation sad to say but true. its hard but you learn to live with it :/

Linda - posted on 07/23/2010

I have 3 childeren two from my marriage and one from a later relationship , both dads seem to feel like they can please them selves if they see there kids , and only if it fits in with there now partners , I just hope my children don t come to blame me for them not having the contact that they deserve but are not getting

Tiffany - posted on 07/23/2010

my son only has me i havnt seen his dad since april last year when i was 6 months pregnant,some days i feel bad knowing that his dad doesnt want anything to do with him but i cant change that,what also gets to me is that my son has an older half sister (from his dad) who is 7 months older who doesnt have any contact with the dad however i know the mum has alot to do with that but just found out that the person he is with now who was my best mate is having a girl, how do i explain all this to my son when he is older?? I have given every opportunity to the dad to have contact but now if there is a chance he wants to see his son its got to go through the courts social services or whoever for supervised contact. but to be honest i cant see that happening i reckon its going to be my son who tracks down his father,just hope the dad has some good answers, as deep down i know my son is going to get hurt

Stephanie - posted on 07/23/2010

my sons father isn't in his life a whole lot because of a lot of stuff that's happened between us and my family hates him. his father got married 2 months after I had my son and is now divorcing her after only being together for a month. I try to have him in his life but he always makes it so hard bc he treats me like crap when he has people around but is really nice when he's alone.

Esperanza - posted on 07/23/2010

am a single mother but my sons father never had the chance to be in his life because he was killed before our son was born. but i know if he was alive he would have been there for me and our baby. it makes me feel sad that he's not able to be here for him i really wish he could have been i never wanted my kids to grow up without a mommy or daddy i always wanted a family that had both parents in there kids lives. but i know his dad is looking down on us and watching over us. it makes me mad that fathers that have the chance to be there aren't they dont know how much there missing out on that there lost though

Robin - posted on 07/23/2010

when I read your message. it also told my story. I am in the same exact boat as you. working all the time and feel horrable that I have to spend so much time away from my son, working as much over time that they will give me just because his deadbeat ass dont feel the need to help. everyone keeps telling me that I just need to find a rich man to settle down with....screw that.. IT WAS A MAN THAT PUT ME IN THE SITUATION I AM IN NOW!!! I want NOTHING to do with any relationship. I wish that people would leave me alone about it too. I have no time or desire for men and their games. I'M DONE!

Kelsey - posted on 07/23/2010

My daughter is close to 3 months old - he has only seen her once. He is bad into drugs and I, obviously, do not want her to be around that!
Throughout my ENTIRE pregnancy he would call me names, tell me how stupid I was, tell me how much he hated me, but said I care about HER though. Low and behold, he has only see her once, about a week after she was born for all of 3 minutes- called once and said he was coming to see her and never showed, and never called again.
I have a GREAT family and I know she will never be without love or support. My dad is taking the male role model until one comes along to take his place. Her grandpa is the BEST and I am not sure any man will ever measure up.
Don't beat yourself up over something you do not have control over. Once your little one is old enough to ask the hard questions, just say that he wasn't ready for all of the love you'd bring him, something whimsical :D

Danielle - posted on 07/23/2010

Hello there, I am a single mother. My daughter has never met her father, she is going to be 6 months old on the 29th. Her father is in prison, and had 3 1/2 years to serve. I feel the same way you do, it hurts me so much that he isnt here, and even if he was not in prison, im not sure if he would be around. I grew up with just my mom, my dad was never around, i never wanted my baby to only have one parent. :( But you know what, we are strong women, and we can do this.

Victoria - posted on 07/23/2010

that was well said Michelle... i couldnt agree more !!!

Michelle - posted on 07/23/2010

my youngest sons father didnt show up to the babyshower, and days later i found out from a friend he didnt think the baby was his, a year later and still nothing. we are in court so i can prove to him he is the dad. we as single moms will always feel bad, especially when the father moves on with another woman who either has kids or they have a child and we are like, but what about our baby? Keep your head up and just love your baby with all your heart and focus on making his life wonderful!

Victoria - posted on 07/23/2010

my childs father is barley in her life... i feel bad sometimes because i want him to be involved with her she is an amazing baby girl... but there is nothing i can do.. if he wants to miss out on her than thats his loss...

Crystal - posted on 07/23/2010

My sons father is not in his life at all. My son is 2 months and his father has not even held him or has not even seen him. When I told him I was pregnant he said he would call me and never did. Ive heard from him and he said he wants a paternity test and if he is the father he said he would be a "stand up guy" and send him the money. I dont need his money and well I want my son to know who his father is. So I messaged him because he changed his number and left me with nothing but an email that i doubt he checks. So now that I have messaged him I am waiting for his response so we can get the test done. I know he is the father. He is just mad because he got cought up since he told me he was married with kids. So I feel bad because my son does not have a father, but my son does not need a guy like him to show my son how to be a man. I have three great uncles who raised me and I know they are more then willing to be more like fathers to my son then his actual biological father or should i say sperm donor. ;) Believe me you will be fine just remember God has sent you a blessing and with or without a father in his life you have the duty to make sure to show your son that much more love and to show him that the situation does not bother you. If you show that it hurts you because I know that it does, your son will feel like he is missing something. Just love your son and spend as much time with him and holding him in your arms. Trust in the Lord and you will be alright!!

Kelli - posted on 07/22/2010

the father of my kids isn't in their life. he's spending his days in jail for several different things. he honestly doesn't care about them.

Janet - posted on 07/22/2010

I HAVE 3 CHILDREN BY 3 DIFFERENT MEN...MY SON'S FATHER IS A SGT. IN THE MILITARY AND COULD CARE LESS ABOUT MY SON HE HAS SEEN HIM 2X'S AND MY SON IS NOW 10YRS...MY OLDEST DAUGHTER HER FATHER LIVES IN GEORGIA AND ME IN NY AND HE MAKES EVREY ATTEMPT TO BE IN HIS DAUGHTERS LIFE...HE IS A GREAT FATHER,,,,AND MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER WELL HER FATHER ONLY WANTS TO BE IN HER LIFE IF HE IS IN MINE AND I SAY KICK ROCKS I CAN DO IT ALL BY MYSELF.....IT IS HARD BUT THEY ARE ALL I HAVE AND I AM ALL THEY HAVE SO WE DO IT TOGETHER AS A TEAM.....

Kenyetta - posted on 07/22/2010

My daughter's father is in her life because our father wasn't in our life and we don't want it like that with our child.

Allison - posted on 07/22/2010

i was a single mom for since my son was born and his father is not really in his life here and there depending on who hes dating hell tell them he has a son my son is almost 3 and has only seen his dad 5 times all his dad has done is give him 20 dollars and a bottle of water.. but my daughters dad is in her life i moved on after my sons father and meet a great man who took my son in as his own..dont feel bad its his loss not ours or your child(s) your child(s) will relieze what his father is in time my son calls his birth father by his first name and his step daddy...daddy...it all evens out dont sweat the small stuff

Natalie - posted on 07/22/2010

No and no.

Amanda - posted on 07/22/2010

my daughter dad is in her life but right now he is in prison for something he bad. I feel upset about wish I could help him before he gotten into trouble.now I am alone caring for my daughter by myself without any support.

Triana - posted on 07/22/2010

no and he doesnt even try he makes me feel like crap

Chantelle - posted on 07/22/2010

I'm considering it after the picture thing. Meeting with my lawyer tomorrow. Guess we will see what happens!

Lindsey - posted on 07/22/2010

my son father just now got involved at 9 months just due to the fact that i told his parents. i like him being in his life though at times its very hard we have trouble getting along.

Kori - posted on 07/22/2010

This guy sounds like an asshole. Who steals pictures and pretends???? What a Jerk off! Excuse my language. You should for sure cut him off or at least have the courts intervene for visitation. That's horrible!!!!!

Chantelle - posted on 07/22/2010

My 1.5 year old sons father is in and out of his life. The last time he saw him was 7 weeks ago when he took him to a funeral and the zoo. Before that it was 2 months. As his father and I are now in the process of a divorce, I'm sure he wont care about his son even more once everything is finalized. Just like his willingness to pay child support, just doesn't care.

I have no real contact with his family.They have swept me under the rug. But they think hes seeing his son regularly, because he steals the profile pictures from my and sets it as his.

I get very frustrated sometimes, and just want to cut everything off. All the lies, fake promises, and reintroductions when he comes by, calls and demands to see his son with 1 hours notice, and seeing him take care of someone else's kids rather than his own, are getting stupid. But I keep the door open because I want it to be his fathers decision not to be in his sons life or, if it gets to that point, my sons decision. While we where together he got some other ladies pregnant. They cut him out of their lives all together. When I saw how happy he was that he didn't have to take responsibility, I insured that he would have to with ours...even if it had to be court ordered :)

Maggie - posted on 07/22/2010

My son has not seen his father since he was 4 months old. If he was going to be in his life and be a good dad i would want him to be but since he hasn't tried to see him at all i'd like to keep it that way. It's better to have my son not know him than be disappointed by him later on.

Kori - posted on 07/22/2010

just know that it is ALWAYS going to be HIS loss and NEVER your daughters. You will have some tough times ahead but never the less it is YOU that gets to enjoy everything that he is missing out on and believe me when she gets old enough he is going to have a lot of explaining to do if he is even lucky enough to have his daughter even want to speak to him.

Anna - posted on 07/22/2010

My daughters father is not in her life...He is in Iraq but has also filed for divorce and didnt want to be here when he was on leave. I feel bad because i know later in llife she is going to think it is her fault and it isnt at all! he is missing out on a great thing with her, but now i have to be the mommy and the daddy to our daughter! I am very hurt for how he is treating us but i was told once by someone very close to me that you cannot change people or the way they feel....

Peggy - posted on 07/22/2010

I have 3 children with two different fathers...neither of the fathers are involved in their lives. My oldest who is 16 made the choice not to have his father in his life...as he was growning up I never denied him the right to know who is father was and I never said negative things about his father...i don't believe that a parent should force negative opinions on a child about thier other parent unless it is harmful to the child which brings me to my girls...thier father isn't in thier life because it is in their best interest as he abused them. Again when they ask questions i give them honest answers but right now they are only 6 & 8 so I do the best i can to put it in elementary terms. The older girl remembers daddy and all the bad things he did...my younger one was 2 when i left so she doesn't remember much. Again when they get to be my son's age...i will give them the information that I have and they can make a decision about thier dad on thier own. I can't deny them to right to know who he is when they turn 18 but i can do whatever is in my power to protect them until then.