Im afraid my daughter will grow up and be wild because she is going to grow up with out a father.

Erin - posted on 11/10/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My worst fear is that my 5 month daughter old will grow up to be an out of control wild child when she is a teenager because she is going to grow up with out a father and im afraid she is going to be looking in "all the wrong places" for the love of a man. I know shes only 5 months but i stress about this A LOT....maybe a little too obsessively.
does anyone else feel like this? does anyone know what i can do to prevent this? i need some peace of mind.

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I think at 5 months old you shouldnt be worrying. And the fact that she doesnt have a father around doesnt mean you cannot teach her morals, as well as having men who can play significant roles in her life to help you out. I have two wonderful brothers who step in to spend time with my daughter since her father has left. Ultimately you will have to be mom and dad which can be tough but as long as u keep a foothold and teach her all those important values then you shouldnt be too worried.

And how knows you might meet mr right who takes up that role and is the backbone to helping you not worry about this!!

i'd say you have at least another 10-11 years before you honestly have anything to worry about :)

Christina - posted on 11/10/2011

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I know EXACTLY how you feel. My daughter is 6 months and I constantly worry and stress out over how she's going to be when she gets old enough to realize she doesn't have her father like her friends do. I don't want her to think men are scum or anything negative. Its something I think about daily. Thats why I hope and pray that I meet someone and he becomes the father figure in her life.

But I catch myself, and realize that as long as she knows I love her with all my heart. I will always have that worry, but I will try my hardest to make sure she knows that she is loved no matter what, and that she will NEVER need a man to be happy.

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Chelayne - posted on 11/13/2011

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I completely understand how you feel cause I feel the same way. My ex and I have two girls, 2 and 1, and he was there for our oldest until she was a year and then we broke up. She knows who daddy is but she doesn't see him often. And now when she does see him and it is time for me to pick her up to leave to come home, she starts these tantrums fits and it breaks my heart cause I know how it feels to grow up without a father cause I did. I'm not saying that your daughter will be wild, but the concern of lookng for "love in all the wrong places" is a big worry. I don't think there is a safe proof way to prevent this but try and be the best mom you can be and show your daughter that she is loved in every which way by you and that nothing is her fault.

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Do you have a father, uncle, brothers, friend, any male that you are close to (not a bf unless it gets serious) that can be a good male role model for her? As long as you are a strong stable example for her I doubt you'll have a huge problem but I understand the fear! We can only do our best, and no matter how amazing the childs life (two parents or one) there is still a chance of a little wildness. I have a friend who had a wonderful mother and father and chose to be extremely wild. Try not to stress and make it an issue(i know easier said than done:) ) and possibly your non anxiousness will rub off on her.. :) Good Luck!

Erin - posted on 11/11/2011

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Thank You so much for all the kind, encouraging words you guys! It helps alot to hear from others who have the same worries. And it is sad that we are all in the same boat. (except for you Denikka, you shine alot of positivity into this conversation, thank you)
i just dont want Xiana to grow up acting like one of them Maury show teenagers from hell wantin to have babies at 13 n sleepin with maaaaaaaaaad dudes! THAT is my greatest fear.
My father and Step-Father will be great role models im sure....and the whole dating thing, eh...i dont know about that for a while..i gotta make sure SURE that whoever i bring into my daughter's life isnt gonna walk out a few years into it...specially when she gets to be at the age when she understands whats goin on around her and situations like that will have more of an impact on her...but you are right Alana, i still got like 10/11 years =)

Denikka - posted on 11/11/2011

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I grew up without a father. I was NOT a *wild child*. I have never tried any kind of drugs, up to and including pot. I have never smoked a cigarette. I am 22 years old and I have, to this day, never been drunk.
I did go looking for love and I do have issues. But it had NOTHING to do with not having a father in my life. It had to do with the fact that I was raised in a controlling and love barren household.

Do your best. Love your daughter, use the proper amount of discipline. If you have male family members, they can be a positive male role model for your daughter. Male friends can also fit that role. It doesn't JUST have to be her bio dad.
It's more important to just love your daughter and raise her right than it is to have a father, especially if he doesn't want to be there or is a negative role model.

Besides, who knows that you won't start dating over the next few years, find a great guy who loves you and your daughter and is more than happy to take on that responsible, loving father role :)

Atrielle - posted on 11/11/2011

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This is something I worry about and my baby will be a year old on the 28th of this month. But all I can do is hope and pray he comes around soon like he says he will, and if not my second hope is that I can find a man that loves me and treats my daufhter like his own. Its just hard because I dont plan to get involved with anyone anytime soon. But our daughters will be fine I think we worrie more then we need to. Just stay strong, I'm sorry that we have to be in these sad situations.

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