info on father

Carin - posted on 08/18/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My boy's father comitted suicide 2 months before he was born. He is 7 now and started to ask about him. He wants a father NOW!!! It is really getting to me.

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Tanisha - posted on 08/18/2009

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First, I'm sorry for your loss. As a single mom, the first few years seem easy, the child doesn't ask, so you don't have to tell. As kids get older, school teaches about family and how there is a mommy and a daddy.



My advise is that old adage: honesty is the best policy. Tell him that he has a father, but he past away before he was born. Also, explain to him there are many different types of families. Some kids are raised by only a mom, only a dad, grandparents, etc. What he might be looking for is a male role model. If you don't have any male friends, consider putting him in the YMCA, Boy Scouts, or Big Brother. Good Luck!

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Ashley - posted on 09/04/2009

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I admire your strength! I can't even imagine how that would feel ...... but tell him to be patient and that mommy has to find one just right for him =) If your not ready to tell him about his fathers death then wait ..... you've got a life time and maybe when hes older he will understand it better?

Dee - posted on 08/21/2009

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My son's father also committed suicide when they were 5 and 3. I always thought that honesty was the best way. I started off telling them that their father had an accident and couldn't be with them anymore, but he was watching over them always. As they got older and could understand the concept of suicide, I then told them the whole truth. My boys are 21 and 19 now and have come to grips with how their father died. They have also thanked me for telling them the truth. Just hold on and life will work out for you and your son.

Amanda - posted on 08/20/2009

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my father got into an accidnet and died when i was a month old. when i was 5 my mom started slowly explaining about him to me. i had a step dad but she felt it was best to start off by being simple and explain more as i get older and understand more so it wasn't an overload.



i would tell him his father passed away. leave it at that until he's old enough to ask how. and when he does ask how make sure you tell him his fathers desision had nothing to do with him and that he made a bad decision because he was sick. (they usually teach kids about depression in school so by the time he asks he may already know a bit about it...)



i agree with tanisha Big brothers would be a very good idea. he can have a male role model do go out and do fun things with.



just remember you've done and awesome job raising your son on your own. it had to be so hard for you... im very sorry for your loss. good luck with your son. i hope i helped

Stephanie - posted on 08/19/2009

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I agree with Tanisha.

Explaining daddy is one thing, explaining death to any age, that's completely different. I wouldn't tell him how he went, but depending on your faiths you may say something like God needed him, he's an angel, etc. Show him pictures if you'd like. I would think it's ok to say how much you miss him too, and tell stories about him. I think Big Brothers is a great idea! Or even if you have a good role modle friend (or your father) take him for some one on one. Now may be the time for some male bonding.

I have girls, so i'm not much help on how to raise boys (sorry) but I know even my girls need that male one on one too. (lots of time with gramps)

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