Tia - posted on 12/11/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )
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My boyfriend/soon to be fiance is ready to propose, he's waiting for the right time to ask my dad. my son's father is pissed even though he moved states away and i don't want him in my son's life.. he hasn't been there since he was 2 weeks old and my bf has been there for a while year so far and counting. is it hard for him to adopt?
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Tia - posted on 05/08/2013
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Hi Tia lol! First of all slow it down some.This man is not even your fiancé yet,and you are already talking about him adopting your son.I used to think just like you,but my friend helped me realize that I should not be looking for a replacement father for my son.I know you love your fiancé,and he might love you, but does he want to adopt your son? Did you ask him first or did he ask you about it. When a man takes care of,and loves a child like his own,it is a beautiful thing,but it can also turn into a very ugly thing.
If you let your fiancé adopt your child,then he has the same rights as you.I know you don't want to think about this now,but if he cheats on you, and leaves you,he still has the right to sue you for joint or even full custody.So,he will then have the power to take your child completely away from you.Do you really want to give him or anyone that kind of power?
As for your child's deadbeat dad,at least he is not harassing you.Yes! It sucks that he hasn't been there,but at least you don't have to pay lawyers fees because he is suing you for full custody. Some women out there are dealing with that now.It may not be hard for him to adopt,as long as you can locate the deadbeat dad.If he is paying child support,he will probably be more than happy to sign the papers to get out of paying child support,sadly.If you still want to do it,wait and see if the marriage last at least a few years,then talk to your man about it.
Luvmia - posted on 12/12/2011
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First and foremost, congratulations! I am so happy for you!
Secondly, please contact a lawyer for a free consultation.
Tia - posted on 12/11/2011
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thanks. i live in florida, i was just wondering cause my son's two now and i had messages from the father in 4 different ways, one of him saying he's not the father, the other saying he is the father and will hurt anyone who he calls dad, the other saying he'll give up the rights then the last one since he found out who my bf is, saying he won't give up the rights -_-
Jane - posted on 12/11/2011
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The precise procedure depends on your state, but generally it isn't difficult as long as the birth father is willing to give up his parental rights. In my state, you need to get a lawyer and go to court, the ex's rights need to be terminated, you need a court-sanctioned home visit, and if all is good, the adoption happens. If your ex fights termination of his rights it can be a bit more complicated, but if you have a way to show that he hasn't been involved with your child, you should still prevail.
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