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Issues with the dads family

Jenna - posted on 07/17/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi my name is Jenna and im looking for some advice. I have a 8 moth old son and me and his father are no longer together. His dads family really isn't too crazy about me and every chance they get they have to tell me their opinion that Isaac is identical to his dad, which i think Isaac looks more like but everyone see's different things in babies and that is not a big deal. But when they say that he is identical to his dad it really hurts my feelings, it feels like they are trying to exclude me like my son is not part of me.. it really makes me feel like they dont want isaac to be mine..which i am really sensitive anyway and maybe thats why it bothers me so much, i know he looks like both of us but would it be so hard to admit that, my family has never excluded steven, they dont act like he is not Isaac's dad.. does anyone else feel this way?? please give me advice, i wish it didn't bother me but it really does.

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Kristy - posted on 07/17/2009

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I know your situation....I am definitely in the 'same boat' as you. Alana's father never disciplines and basically buys her love so when people tell him that she's well behaved and just the simple things that I have instilled in her...then he's getting all the credit. I just feel so blessed to have such a wonderful daughter, even though her father lacks intelligence. Guys will never understand what we are saying...it's as though we are talking to a brick wall. Save your breath and just smile everytime he makes you angry. It will confuse him and you will laugh inside...I promise!

Jenna - posted on 07/17/2009

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thank you for the advice and i try not to let it get to me its just that he's never around and he doesn't help and then they all act like he's the world's best dad or something when he's never around..I feel like im the one that does all the work and then he gets all the credit.. and i have tried talking to him about it but he just doesn't get it..

Katie - posted on 07/17/2009

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I really think that you should not let them get to you. To me, its almost like they are trying to upset you and you are feeding into what they want. He is a boy so yeah he may look more like his dad, but you can't let this bother you. My daughter's father's family is a little crazy, but I don't let it bother me for her sake. I would not want her to think I am bothered by her grandparents and when she is old enough she can decide how she feels about them. I do feel, sometimes, that they are out to get me, but again for my daughter's sake I try to stay calm and keep the peace between us. Please just don't take anything they say personal!

Kristy - posted on 07/17/2009

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I also have issues with my daughter's father's family as they try to act like the parents and it really drives me insane. They always focus on how much she looks like him as well and never says anything about me. I don't think they're trying to exclude you, but obviously they are biased for your child's father which is natural. Try not to take things too personal as it creates a hostile environment. I've been dealing with BS like this for 4 years now and I just laugh or cuddle with her on the couch because the best thing you can do is love your child. Don't sweat the small stuff. :) Take care and keep your head up.

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