Just when I didn't think my son's father could stoop any lower....

Melissa - posted on 06/18/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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....he did it again.

This year is the first year without my own dad. He passed away week before my birthday in November last year from cancer. So of course this weekend was hard enough. The day before Father's Day, I decided to take my son to Indiana for a day just to get out of town for the day. While I was driving, I received a text message from my ex. Now, normally when I get text messages from him, I just brush it off, because I honestly don't care. But because of what weekend it was and with my emotions already on high, he got to me. He asked and I quote "So who is "our son's name" dad for sure?" And then he proceeded to say something about our dad's not being here this year (his dad passed away two weeks after mine did). But it wasn't as if I needed him to remind me of something I was already aware of. The weekend was going to be hard enough without his text messages (oh there were more too). He knows he is our son's father. However since I haven't returned any of his messages, he will say anything to get me to respond to him, and I mean anything. The sad thing is, knowing him, he'd take the paternity test just to keep me around. It wouldn't be for our child, but for his own selfish desires to be able to see me. I would write more, but it's after 1 am and I've been up studying all night. So my brain is FRIED!!! Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I actually feel better.

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[deleted account]

I would also look at telling him that he is only to text/contact you about your child. Unless it has some connection to your son you don't want to hear from him. Basically - if one of his family is ill, has died etc., or he's showing interest in your son, you are willing to hear from him. If it's anything else you're not.

As for my ex I haven't heard from him for quite a while now. I would like to see him try to prove that my youngest is his brother's and not his. Even though no DNA test has been done, would like to see what proof that he is not the biological father of all three of my girls, as I know that DNA would prove who's the father of my three girls. I know that I was faithful during our relationship. Yes I was getting on better with his brother, but that does not equate to me having an affair with my ex brother in law!!!!

Melissa - posted on 06/19/2012

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What a jerk. Your right, he's trying to get you to respond. It's probably driving him nuts that you haven't. My ex won't take his daughter on his own to visit with. For awhile he just showed up at my house thinking he could visit her here while I do all the work. Like come on... The only purpose of that is to get under my skin and to try and keep me around too. The ball is in our courts. We have the kids, we have the control, its just their way of trying to get some control over the situation. Don't let it get you down and stay strong. Know that there is other women that have to put up with similar stuff from their exes too. If you figure out a way to get him to quit with the nasty texts, etc, Let me know! I can't get mine to quit either. Good luck, and I'm sorry about your father passing.

Melissa - posted on 06/19/2012

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Thank you for the condolences.

My ex won't even go to get the DNA test done; all because he doesn't want to pay back child support and he doesn't want to be a father to our son. He's made it perfectly clear that he wants to be my friend, but that's it. But he can't have it both ways. And honestly, he is the textbook case of a Narcissist...word for word. I have given him chance after chance to make it right. But, after he claimed that I was trying to "trap" him, I stopped responding. I posted on here about that situation a while back. So I took the advice of what others have said, and what my mother said. I haven't responded to him since March. It's now June, and he still sends me texts every week. 90% of the time it has nothing to do with our son. So that kind of gives you a little bit of an insight of the kind of person he is. I even thought he would want to get to know our child, due to both of our fathers passing within the same time frame. But no such luck. He's a 34 yr old boy, and unfortunately for him he may never be the man he could be. He's acted this way since I was with him, and I doubt he'll ever change (We were together for 3 years, and I left him in 2004). I just hope he doesn't get anyone else pregnant, he has another son he refuses to take care of, and that child has an extreme case of autism.

I'm glad you got your situation worked out :)!

[deleted account]

the other way of looking at it is - prove that he is the biological father of your son and then make sure he has to deal with the consequences. Little things like child support. My ex goes under the annoying category as well. Even though I've had three daughters with him, he doesn't pay child support, is no longer in their lives (this time his choice). Oh by the way now he is claiming that the youngest is his brother's child and not his. He's claimed this for several years now as me and his brother were getting on better when my youngest was conceived, and that's still even though he put his own name on the birth certificate. I would like to see my ex take a DNA test, along with his brother and have all three girls DNA tested so that it's proved that they are all his and none are his brothers. Also as means of a control way of proving that my girls are all full sisters!!!

Sorry to hear about your Dad passing away.

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