kids constantly trashing my house!

Ashley - posted 50 seconds ago

how are they getting into all this stuff? do you watch your kids?! when you see them getting into stuff go over and smack their butt!! close doors tht lead to rooms tht u dont want ur kids in..such as the bathroom and tell them they are not allowed in there! if you catch them trying to go in there smack their butt!! its not hard.

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2010

If you haven't done it already, then you might have moral oppositions, but this might be about the time where these kids get a good spanking. I just recently did a paper on conditional spanking for a college class and did some pretty in depth research from many accredited studies across the world and what I found out was that a swat or two on the butt with an open hand, used as a reinforcement when time-outs and other punishments are ineffective, when a child is between the ages of 2 and 6 have no more detrimental side effects on a child than any other punishment, and in fact in certain studies have shown the kids who received whats known as "conditional spankings" have had sunnier outlooks on life, volunteered more, and performed better academically than those who were not spanked at all. Most studies opposing spanking and stressing detrimental side effects, don't distinguish spanking from abuse, don't take into account the age of the child, socio-economic status, other types of discipline used, education levels of parents- nothing. Anyways, it sounds to me like these kids need a healthy fear of their mother so they don't walk all over you. And a spanking, especially if it hasn't been used yet, will be a great way to let them know you're not playing around anymore. Give them a verbal warning in a stern voice. If they don't listen, give them one more with more seriousness. If they don't listen, tell them you will give them 3 seconds to stop their behavior. Count: 1......2.....--if they let you get to 3, give them 2 swats on the butt and put them in time out. This works with my son and now, I VERY RARELY get to 3. Like once every 2 months (he'll be 3 in august as well). Because every time I get to 3, he gets a spanking. I don't think this method would be effective on the 8 month old at all. Like I said, this is most effective on children between the ages of 2-6, and not shown to be detrimental until they are 11, although you might need a different form of discipline for your son with autism, I really don't know anything about that. And then after they get the picture, I think Latoya's star chart would be a really effective method of positive enforcement.

Good luck mama!

Stacey - posted on 06/30/2010

WOW it sounds like your having a really hard time, maybe you should talk to your health visitor they give really good advice, i would say carry on with the time-out but try not to let it show that she gets to you, also perhaps get some cupboard locks, perhaps you could sit the older kids down when the little ones are asleep and ask them to help you out by setting a good example and stop her doing bad things, maybe you should keep a nappy on her until she starts acting like a big girl, is there no one who can take your kids for a day or an evening so you could have a break you must be exhausted!!

LATOYA - posted on 06/28/2010

I think that u should find time and create something for them to do. Each day set aside a time for fun time and if u have misbehaved or do any of the things that u mentioned, they will not be allowed to join the activity. I only have two and even they get out of hand, but I have come to find out that kids like to be busy and if you don't create something for them to do then your house becomes the playground and anything goes and because u are alone it is tough to watch all of them at one time unless u all are engaged into the same activities. As far as the car don't allow them to have anything in the car. If u are going on a long trip then u keep everything next to you and when it break time then they get snacks. As for the baby smearing poop everywhere u might want to check on that because sometimes that can be a defense mechanism. If they just love to color so much you should invest in the water color pad not sure if that is the right name but it is by crayola and the only thing it shows up on is that pad. I know it hard but u need a routine bc if they are busy thru out the day then they don't have time to destroy anything. I know u said that u do the time out thing instead of time out u need to make a star chart and make them earn some of the fun things that you are doing bc no kid wants to watch someone else having fun. Of course this is gonna take some time but the more u do it the more they get use to it. I hope this works for you and GOOD LUCK!!