Last name issues with 3 year old!!

Alison - posted on 08/26/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Ok, long story short....my daughter's "dad" hasn't been in the picture for 2.5 years out of her 3 years of life. She listened to me on the phone saying my full name to make appointments, etc. and started saying her name as her first name and my last name even though legally she has her "dads" last name. I just went along with it because I was going to court to get it changed anyway. Well only 1 week before I could legally change it, he paid child support and that means that I couldn't without his permission anymore (i already went through lawyers and courts, etc so thats out of the question). So my question is, did any of you moms have to tell your kids at a young age that they need to start using a different last name and they did okay with it? I told my daughter that she is very special because she has 2 last names, but only uses her legal one now and she does fine with it, but I just don't want to confuse her. Anyone else relate?? I came to terms with having to use her legal last name and i'm okay with it, even though he is not in the picture very much. That last name may be the only part she has of her dad if something were to happen to him down the road. But I just don't want this to be a big mix up for her

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Chaya - posted on 08/26/2012

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I don't know where you live, but in the greater Seattle area, where we've checked, and in Denver, it costs $30 to change your name. In Portland, Or, when I checked which wasn't recent, it cost nearly $300. Just check around at the courthouse

Alison - posted on 08/26/2012

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thank you for your posts....here's my issue...she's already 3..jsut starting pre school and learning to spell her name. if i hyphenate her name i would have to do it legally for the pre school to use both names and that won't happen anytime soon because of money issues...plus, ive heard a lot of negative things with having hyphenated last names and im not sure how i feel about it...personally i would love to do that...but who knows when it could happen. i was told if i put my last name as a hyphenated one when it wasn't legal i could get in trouble

Chaya - posted on 08/26/2012

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My daughter wants to hypenate her name since her dad took up with the most recent girlfriend. I kept my last name. We originally planned on giving our boys their dad's name and our girls, mine. It turned out one baby was the magical number in our family, my older sons are adopted and a product of my first, late husband. It turned out that my daughter could spell my name before her dads because she heard me spell it, and she's a smart kid.

In the United States, you may give your child any name you wish. You are legally allowed even to take a name out of the phone book. I'm not suggesting anyone should do it, only that it's legal.

Michelle - posted on 08/26/2012

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My son has always known his legal last name is webster but he decided at the age of 3 or 4 that he wanted to use mine so we added mine to the end of his with a hyphen no it is not a legal name but it is the name he is choosing to go by my son refuses to use his fathers name and only uses mine though all legal documents have his dads name on it he is registered everywhere with both names. When he is older if he chooses to change it legally than I will stand by his decision.

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