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Living with the grandparents

Amy - posted on 12/14/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Since I left my husband in July, my daughter and I have been living with my parents. Its nice to have there help but they are still just acting like grandparents. They give in to Alexa, my daughter, whenever she wants something. My daughter is 19 months and is learning if she cries she will get what she wants and she doesnt have to listen to Mama because Nana gives her everything and lets her do whatever she wants. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get my parents to stop that since, we are living with them and Alexa needs to learn to listen, without fighting with them? They still think that because they are the grandparents they can do what they want.

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Shauna - posted on 12/15/2009

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i wasnt living with my parents but went thru the same thing they constantly ignored me until i snapped and now they dont do it as much it was mainly my mam. try having a nice word then again and if you get no joy youl snap because they are undermining your parenting yr the boss make sure they no that and they are just making it harder for you gaving in all the time put the foot down .

Naomi - posted on 12/15/2009

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you just need to tell them i understand you want to be grandma and grandpa but right now since we live here i need you to follow my rules with my child.

Niki - posted on 12/15/2009

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I'm living with my parents also and it's so hard but first you have to learn to stand up to your parents and tell them that you are the mother and you want it done your way, not their way. Also i've established with my kids (they are 1 1/2 and 3 1/2) that when mom is home the rules all apply, but when gami and pops are babysitting then the rules can relax. You're parents still want to be able to spoil their grandbaby and it's not their job to raise her. I know it's hard but it's something you've got to work on with your parents...or move out as soon as you can. Good luck

Kimberly - posted on 12/14/2009

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I live with my parents also. My son is 13 1/2 mths old and we have been here since he was 6 mths. My mother watches him while I work since I can only find PT work and can't afford daycare. It was hard finding the right balance, but I had to sit them down and talk to them. I basically said that yes they are his grandparents but I am his mother and they are rules that have to be followed. I told them that I loved their support and that I could not do it without them but given our situation they could not just spoil him the way they did the other grandchildren because he lives here. That I was Aaron's mother and I had the final say. It was a hard conversation to have but it has done wonders. I explained the schedule he was on, the forms of discipline I wanted used, I wanted no cussing around him, and that he will live if he is told NO and cries about it. It has made for a happier home because that understanding is there and we all know what is expected. Me and my mom will still have an off day about something but we are mother and daughter :)



I wish you luck.

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