Ajia - posted on 02/19/2010 ( 23 moms have responded )
Being a single mother is so incredibly lonely for me. All of my pre-baby friends want to go out and do everything last minute, not understanding that I have to coordinate bottles, naptimes, babysitters, a place to change a poopy diaper. They also don't get how much a sitter costs. And to be honest, I don't have the desire to go out and drink or club or any of that. I've tried making new friends, but the SAHM crowd in my area is a bit cliquey and stuck-up. I haven't found anyone I mesh with. And I REALLY miss having a significant other. I would love to feel like a person and a woman again instead of just a mom. I'd like to exist for something other than changing diapers and making bottles. But I never go anywhere to meet people, and even if I did, I'm a fat mess that never lost the 60(!) pounds I gained during my pregnancy (after already being very overweight), and I never pay attention to what I wear anymore, and can't remember the last time I put on makeup. I mean, what for? As long as my daughter is happy, healthy, and looks like she stepped out of a Neiman Marcus catalog on top of it, that's all that matters - I'm just the personal assistant of a 10 month old. I want my daughter to grow up with two parents, in a financially stable household. I can't achieve that sitting in my house, and there are no guarantees that I'll even find it if I take the three hours to straighten my hair, put makeup on, get dressed, and then pay a sitter a ridiculous amount of money.
I'm just curious how other people deal with it. I have 1 friend. ONE. And when she has other things to do, I am a mess all by myself. Are there other people who have no help, a family that is too wrapped up in themselves, maybe only one real friend to speak of? Or are you someone who has overcome these things?