lonely single mom

Kendra - posted on 09/08/2010 ( 26 moms have responded )

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im a single mother to a 4 month old little boy. he keeps me on my toes thats for sure.. but i cant help but feel lonely. i feel like since my son came around.. all my friends have vanished. And i even have grew distant with my mommy friends. i try to keep in touch with my mommy friends but it seems like im the one trying all the time. and it really hurts. I miss how things used to be. i miss my pregnancy when all my friends were around. i had 2 friends pregnant and we were all due the same month ! But now i dont talk to them at all.. which makes no sense. one did move away.. But theres phones. facebook. emails. webcams. im just sooo lonely. i have no one to talk to. no one to relate to.

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Jasmine - posted on 10/12/2011

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Yeah loneliness sucks.... since i went from being in a relationship to being a single mom 3 yrs ago its seems many of the moms with husbands keep their distance... There's a feeling that you don't fit in because your single but you have kids so you are going to be at family styled events... and I'm getting used to it i gues but it feels really bad. And the phones, internet doesn't take the place of actual face to face contact....

Nisha - posted on 10/06/2011

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Hey kendra,

I know exactly how you feel i was one of the most popular girls in high school now that i am a single mom and work, i have NO friends. When i finally get a break and want to go none of my friends come around. The only time that i hang out with people is when i am out with my boy friend and his friends.I am not sure where you aee located but i guess we can keep each other company since we are rocking the same boat. You can always email me if you need to talk yfriedel07@gmail.com or look me up on facebook

Jessica - posted on 09/26/2010

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I'm the same. I feel like everything my friends promised while I was pregnant has been forgotten ad people assume that because I have my 4 month old daughter I don't have a life and can't do anything

Kelly - posted on 09/24/2010

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do you belong to a church? If so, is there a single moms support group? My church has one which I have been part of for quite a few years now, and it is an awesome connection that I have as well as my kids have with the other kids in the group.

Cathy - posted on 09/22/2010

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Hi Kendra. Yep, it sucks hey. I know how you feel...well, kinda. My baby will be 6 months old in 2 weeks and she's alot of fun but it does get lonely sometimes. You just want adult conversation. I am fortunate to still be in touch with some of my old friends but only get to see then every so often. Like once every 2 months or so. I agree with you about e-mail, phone, etc. I use to contact my friends alot as well but then realised that all the effort was coming from my side and just stopped. If you ever feel like chatting or just venting please don't hesitate. Send me a msg or facebook me. I always reply. Good luck!

Anna - posted on 09/21/2010

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my son is now 17 years old but i do remember feeling lonly but mom groups help

Anna - posted on 09/21/2010

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If you can find a moms group in your area it will help alot. I did and it was great help

Teresa - posted on 09/17/2010

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It's been a crazy four months, right? You sound sad, so I say, get out there! Get a sitter, and do something fun: cooking class, dance lessons, pool league. Happy Mommy = Good Mommy. And at these new adventures, you will make new friends. Promise.

Jennifer - posted on 09/17/2010

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I agree with Tashia, the early years centre is a great place to go if you live in Ontario. They have amazing programs for Moms and young children. Also your family can be a great support and friends :)

Alexis - posted on 09/16/2010

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hey i know it can be hard being a single parent, this is my second time round, my first husband left when my eldest kids were 7 and 9 and i left my second husband when my youngest kids were 5months and 22 months, it is hard and lonely, i didnt handle being on my own that well, but its been 3 yrs and im doing well...
you will have moments of sadness and lonliness and that is normal, friends do come and go.. i lost all my friends when i had my younger two kids. i decided that i would meet new people and joined a few groups. i now have close friends and am happy...
try not to get down, you are not alone, i have always been the friend that runs around after others aswell, and once you stop its amazing how they dont seem to be there....
if you need to vent or cry or laugh or just chat, please buzz me... im happy to listen...
hope this helps....
alexis

Andrea - posted on 09/14/2010

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Hi Kendra ... sorry to hear that. But it's true you do loose alot of single friends, cuz you're in a different catagory now. I lost touch with most of my single friends as well. But my mommy friends didn't call much the first 6 mths cuz they wanted to give me time to get use to a new routine & the little one. Maybe they're doing the same for you. Just enjoy your bundle of joy. Hope this helps.

Vicky - posted on 09/13/2010

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I understand! Every situation is different, yet the same. We all feel lonely and abandoned by those we thought were close to us, and finding someone who can relate is difficult. I have a friend whose partner left her after six months after they adopted their newborn son. I'm going through a divorce with the military donor and live an hour from work, living with parents that have literally said they hate me but love my son (package deal here, folks!)

Best advise I can give is this: Enjoy the time you have and appreciate the people who ARE there for you! Look at why you grew apart from your friends, and if it's really because they abandoned you, cut the ties. You don't need the negative energy affecting you OR your baby! There are groups out there, including this one, that , while we might not match your situation exactly, we can understand what you're going through! My son is 21 months and it kills me that he doesn't get invited to play groups or birthday parties because we live so far from day care and work, we don't really know the people that live near us. So, I've joined a mommy group on meetup dot com. We haven't yet met, but it's given renewed hope that our living situation will improve.

Stay strong and don't give up! Your boy needs you and most importantly, YOU need YOU. Things WILL improve!

Felicia - posted on 09/12/2010

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I know how that feels. Not only was I ostracized after my son was born because I was so young, but at the time, his father refused to allow me contact with my friends. Now that my son's older, all of my friends come over to hang out with him. lol. I'm here if you ever just want to chat or vent.

Lesley - posted on 09/12/2010

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Hi there

Im single mother to one from glasgow and knw the feelin c my friends few and far between if u fancy a chat do u have msn?

Sandi - posted on 09/11/2010

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Im a single mom of a 3 month old girl and a 15 yr old son. I know how you feel. It does get very lonley. I lost my husband in Feb 2010 and since then it seems like our friends are distant and far away. Like they dont know what to say to me. They talk about my daughter but they dont know what to say to me.

Janell - posted on 09/11/2010

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it is rough I kow how you feel, I think what's going on with your mommie friends is they are also trying to adjust to parenthood it's not easy for any one and each person handles things in a different way. I am a single mom as well and that makes things even more difficult because you don't have a husband there to fill the boyd the friends are leaving. What helped me is going to the park and libraries there usually are moms hanging out there and it's nice having a person to talk to. If you ever need to vent you can always send me a message I try to be good about replies.

Jennifer - posted on 09/10/2010

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Don't worry, you are far from alone! I know it feels that way at times, but there isn't a single parent on this planet who hasn't felt & thought the same way at one point or another. I have a 4 year old son that I've been raising by myself the entire time. All my friends and family live 1 & 1/2 to 3 hours away from us, so we rarely see them. I haven't even been out anywhere without my son since he was born. I promise it will get easier, less depressing, and alot less lonely. Trust me, once your little man starts walking it's off to the races! Don't take your friends being MIA personally either. If they have kids, then they are most likely overwhelmed and bearly have time to do anything. I know it hurts, but please know that you are never alone. There are millions of us who carry the same tourch each and every day...and we all do it for the exact same reason...love for our child(ren). I know this is so clique but it's also so true. They grow up way too fast and there will come a day when you will be beyond greatful that you didn't miss one second of it! Focuse on all that you have right at this very moment, not on all the things/people you don't have and want. If you can teach yourself to do that, I promise you won't feel lonely anymore. Wish you the very best!!!

Lesley - posted on 09/10/2010

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its nice to know im not the only single parent feeling this way. try keep strong single moms/dads :)

Lois - posted on 09/10/2010

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It may seem lonely right now because all they do is eat, sleep and go to the bathroom. Trust me enjoy it because it won't be long until he starts walking and talking. The same questions over and over. They get into everthing you won't have time to get lonely. I have been a single mom to my son for 21 years. I have to say he is the greatest treasure in my life and I loved every minute of it. That boy will always be there for you. It won't be long before he is so much fun. Don't worry about your friends. If they had babies they may be having a hard time adjusting also. Do you have any family close by? Try a single mom class at church or there is Parents without Partners. Good luck and as you can see by these posts, we are never truely alone out here...

Mirry - posted on 09/09/2010

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sometime you get those feelings because its post natal, i know ive feel the same after my two girls and i now realize i was going through mild post natal depression. Just focus on how much your baby has done for you and family will always give you sense of comfort.

Amy - posted on 09/09/2010

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all your friends vanished? is it really true? are you calling/contacting them and they ignore you? they may be busy too, i don't know. Remember that there are two sides. i used to have this attitude, but realized i was my own worst enemy and much of what i was thinking wasn't acutally true. once i realized that i was much happier.

i think what you're going through is part of the 'process' of child birth. sounds like you may also have a bit of the baby blues? there are anti-depressants for this sort of thing if it because cronic or unbearable. good luck! this too shall pass...

Hayley - posted on 09/09/2010

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In a sense i know how u feel, but then in saying that i dont as i was fortunate to have my friends come back(my daughters father was loony wouldnt let me have friends) but i dont often talk to them, the truth is if they cant find a couple minutes in their day to talk to u or email you with out a good reason then they arent true friends. And as much as being a single mum is hard, sometimes its easier doing it with out the worthless broods around. you will find other friends who will make the time and effort to see you or talk to you. Do u go to mummy groups?

Jessi - posted on 09/08/2010

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The same thing happned to me! A lot of people i went to school with are moms now but they all have their boyfriends/husbands. My "bestfriend" pretty much vanished after i gave birth. Its like im not good enough for anyone to spend time with. Luckily i have a lot of supportive family but it would be nice to have friends who know how i feel!

Sharman - posted on 09/08/2010

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kendra, i can relate to u alot. am a single mom of a soon to be 2 and 5 yr old. i work and take classes online am a so lonely. i dont do alot, i get out of the house sometimes and now its just that i dont want to get out of the house. i been down and out. i need some new friends to have fun with. am kinda shy around new people so that is y i havent made that many. i just dont know anymore, i struggle everyday. i relate to u so much. maybe we can be friends on here or facebook that way we can kept each other company and get advice, cause i need some. look me up on facebook or here. sharman banda. good luck

Jerod - posted on 09/08/2010

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Sorry to hear about you being lonely. I have been a single dad for four years and their mom doesn't come around very much so i don't get many breaks to go out with friends except at work. This year is the first time all are in school so now i have time to do stuff until they get home. I still have old friends that i talk to but not as much as i use too. Hope this helps have a great week. Jerod

Tashia - posted on 09/08/2010

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I know how you feel. Im in the same boat. All my friends pretty much went MIA (well except when they need something like a ride or wanna borrow money)..
What I decided to do was join an Early Childhood Family Education class with my son..
I figured meeting other parents would help and maybe make a new friend or too. Maybe give that a try:)

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