mom's with a pregnant teen

Trina - posted on 06/14/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I just found out today that my 17 year old daughter is pregnant and due to our belief system there is NO option but for her to keep it. I would just like to share any helpful information with other young single mothers who's daughter's are expecting... thank you!

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Alana - posted on 06/14/2009

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I was 19 when I got pregnant with my son. I had a full softball scholarship to a D1 program and gave it up for my son. The best thing you can do for your daughter is support her. Most teen mothers aren't proud of the consequences of being pregnant. They last thing they want to hear is mom yelling and lecturing her about what is right and wrong. Children grow up so fast now-a-days. There is nothing we can do is support them through the trials and tribulations of their life. Let her know that it wont be easy but you will be there through everything that happens. My mother and I's relationship grew so much when I got pregnant with my son. She has been my best friend and has been there thru thick and thin!

Stacey - posted on 06/14/2009

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I dont have a preg daughter, but all i can say is support her, talk to her. Let her deal with the changes and dont nag. I had my first child at 18, and the best thing my mum could do was give me support and be there when I needed her. She gave me space also which helped. Good luck.

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Melony - posted on 06/17/2009

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Hi Trina, I dont have a teen pg daughter myself, but one of my friends did and because I'm so much younger than her (my friend) I could relate more to the pg daughter, because of that she confided in me and let me tell you her mom couldnt have done a better thing than standing by her through thick and thin, this girl was 16 when her boy was born and you can not believe what a good mother she turned out to be and I still believe it's because her mom stood by her and showed her what a real mom would do for her kid!!! Good luck and God bless!!

Tammy - posted on 06/16/2009

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I was 18 when I got pregnant with my son and I can say please let her know that you support her, I think I was more terrified in telling my mom than the actual pregnancy. Also adoption is always an option, there are tons of couples egerly waiting to adopt and adoption had evolved to where she can make the decision on who gets her baby and in some cases stay in the baby's life. It's a tuff decision and depending on the situation she would know she was able to provide the baby with a better life than she could offer at the time. I went thru most of my pregnancy on my own because my mom was upset I wasn't married....I kept my child because I knew I wanted children and it came relatively easy for me (definately wouldn't recommend it) but I just knew it was right for me. Big thing is to support and ensures that she has all the information so her decision is one of being informed.

Melanie - posted on 06/16/2009

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wow what a great mum you are for asking at all ! I fell pregnant with my 1st at 17 & I think pride got in the way of my mother helping more than she did but thats a guess as she was 16 when she had me so I was very confused at her lack of interest in my pregnancy, on the other hand my father was amazing & that was unreal as he was the catholic with strict rules etc & he was awesome buying gift baskets visiting even though he lived 2 hrs from me at the time, he was the 1st 2 the hospital when I went into labour (mum arrived half an hour before the birth) & that made the feeling of being a teen pregnant so much easier just knowing he didn't judge me based on his belief's. I admire you for being so open to this situation, I have 4 daughters & would not know how I would deal with it !! All I can say is what helped me was love & support from family but most of all I think if my mother had have been more envolved it would have made a bigger difference for me ! Also try to be ontop of the teenage pregnancy info as I had to find out myself there are certain things that affect the body more when we are pregnant at a younger age ! I wish you & your daughter the best of luck & I hope she knows how lucky she is to have a mum that cares the way you do !!!! :)

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i am a single mother of 1 and my daughter will be 4 in sep i never would have got through it all without my mam so please support your daughter

Heather - posted on 06/16/2009

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i would suggest that GirlMom site and "Primal Gramma" (Hygeia Halfmoon) as the most supportive resources on the internet for any teen mom or mother of a teen mom. Of course things are going to be diffiicult for your daughter, but she can rise to the challenge and feel good about being a perfectly capable mother to your new grandchuild without having to sacrifice her own hopes and dreams. If she's definitely decided to keep the baby, then throw her a baby shower, get her some cute maternity clothes, talk about names, and let her enjoy her pregnancy just like any other expectant mom. I don't know much about your religious beliefs but i do know that babies are miracles (even when they are unexpected) and not a punishment for having sex.

Ashley - posted on 06/15/2009

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Im 19 and i found out i was pregnant when i was 3 months. I'm a full time college student and part time worker, very independant. However, my mom took the news well. I also have the belief system in just keeping what you create.



The best thing my mom did for me i say was support me! happy unhappy, excited or not. Neg. vibes did nothing but tear me apart from few loved ones. Let her know that you love her. My mom even changed her work schedule so she can be here in the daytime to help out and we maybe moving soon to make more room for my son. Go to the classes and appointments with her etc.

As far a college, i have to take one semester off because i'm due in October. But come january im back to start my third semester. Quitting school isnt an option especailly because i'm going to be a single mom. As far as work i just need a better paying job lol.

Hope i was some help!

Christina - posted on 06/15/2009

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you right my daughter was 14 when she got pregnant and in my belief to that she keep it and i didnt wont her to miss her child years so i put in more work with the baby,so now she is 17 in school with two kids but know i only help out when really need me to cause she have to know how it truly feel to be a parent and if i would have done that with the first one she might not have done it again,so ya am a 30year old single grandma,it started off cazy be it ok a little ups and downs but god has the power to make all things possible,and to turn what with thing might be big in to a blessing,because every life that comes in to this world is a blessing

Amanda - posted on 06/15/2009

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well im a teen mom... i had my son at 17 and my mom was 18 when she had my brother. she was the greatest through out my pregnancy and after having my son. she was understanding she supported me, helped me out, she adores her grandson now! just yesterday she sat and every two seconds it was "oh you look SO CUTE! in that shirt! oh my god i love that shirt! grandma's gunna buy you more because you look SO CUTE!" i don't know what i would have done wiht out my mom... she was there through every complication. she took a month and a half off wokr after i had the baby to help. i was on bedrest before i had the baby and she would bring me movies and treats and games. she made me feel like an adult having a baby not just a stupid kid.

Trina - posted on 06/14/2009

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Thanks Stacey, I will definately will be giving her tons of support. In fact I had her when I was 19 and the way my Catholic parents were I had to go get married.... well even though I got two beautiful children out of that marriage it ended in less then four years and I was a single mother of two (now three but that's another Jerry Springer show lol). My parents feel like they have raised their children so they aren't and never have really been real active grandparents. I've made clear to MY mother that I would be taking care of this baby full time while my daughter is in school, and longer so that she can go to college. which my mother would never have dreamed of doing for any of us kids. she actually made it a point to call all of us and let us know that she didn't want to be tied down with the responsibility of any of our kids so if we needed her for a quick errand, or for one night every once in a while that would be ok... needless to say we've all done it on our own.... I'm definately not like her in that way!... Thank you again for the support and anyone who has anything to say to this I will welcome it all with open arms even if I don't want to hear it because sometimes we all need a good dose of reality!... Love and Hugs, from another single mom goin through it

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