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My 10 year old daughter is out of control throwing tantrums and whining!

Hadenuf - posted on 12/17/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am a single mother with for children. My 10 yr old has been diagnosed with adhd, bi-polar and odd. My 3 yr old has epileptic seizures and also has adhd and is in early childhood education. Im sure you can imagine my stress is pretty high and to add to it my 10 yr old still throws temper tantrums and whines about EVERYTHING! Every time she does not get her way or she is asked to do something, anything, such as put her shoes on, brush her teeth, etc, the whining and crying begins. She is currently on Intuniv and vivance. I have not noticed any improvement. She also acts out at school. She has an IEP and they are aware of her behaviors at home as well. At school she shuts down and refuses to do what they tell her to do and even throws things, oh and lets not forget the whining! I feel like i have tried everything, i dont know what to do!!!!! i believe as a result of her behavior my depression is also out of control. Someone please give me some ideas, thank you!

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Rebecca - posted on 10/31/2011

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She sounds alot like my 10 year old son...he was diagnosed with ADHD and is also on Intuniv & Vyvanse. It seems like some days it works and some days he is not even my son anymore. He is my only child yet I am so stressed out that I am seeing a therapist. I am so glad to know that other moms are going through the same thing I am...I am going to start taking him to therapy with me so we can work on out relationship, I hope it gets better for you :)

Serena - posted on 12/27/2010

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I am a single mother of 3 and my 10 yr old son is out of control too ,she sounds like him :0 I have had help and things go ok for a while but always explode.. I have days where his behaviour reflects on me and its so hard to cope..he plays up at school too...my son throws things breaks things punches out windows etc and has no respect for anyone,,but I am against medicating after researching all the diff things they diagnose challenging children with so avoid having him labeled although Im always looking for ideas too to help them manage there behaviour.
The one thing that i found seems to work is them being in control of there feelings ( my son fights against being told or even asked he swears,talks back,whines etc,etc ) Feeling cards are great the ones with pics to describe the emotions inside but also if they can write a sentence of what made them happy and what made them most sad each day..like a diary...it helps them and us to understand a little better ...Im going to work on that one myself:) Most of all know that whatever happens never give up as the parent u are challenging this growing up together and are the greatest stregnth they can ever draw upon.

Vanessa - posted on 12/24/2010

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as well as what the other ladies suggested - look into respite care - will give u a break too!

Danielle - posted on 12/24/2010

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How about the school counselor? Have you tried getting her into counseling? What about taking stuff away? Talk to your doctor, they might have other choices also.

Natasha - posted on 12/17/2010

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You may want to talk to her doctor again and let them know the medication she is being given is not effective. I would also see if your insurance covers any alternative therapy for her besides medication.

Good luck!

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