My 10yr old lies and steals what do you do?

Cristyn - posted on 06/11/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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How do you get thru to your child that stealing things is completely wrong when they know this already, and they still continue to do it. And the worst is she has become a complusive liar and there are times when she is really good at it and other times when you can see right thru her. I don't know what is the right punishment, I have grounded her and she doesn't care, I have taken everything away and she doesn't care. I'm making her do chores for no allowance and she doesn't care. I have no idea what to do I have had her in counseling and that hasn't helped and now I don't know what to do. It has gotten bad enough that she is no longer allowed at her daycare that she had been going to since she was almost 2.

Anyone have any ideas on what to do?

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Shaylee - posted on 04/18/2013

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shes not a kid shes a pre-teen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JUST NO ONE BUT ME AS A PARENT UNDERSTANDS THAT AND IT JUST URRRRGGGGGSSSS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erin - posted on 06/12/2012

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Perhaps Kleptomania? If not maybe some tough love, you could take her to visit a jail to see where people go when they steal. This technique has worked on many children and teens with chronic problems.

Jen - posted on 06/12/2012

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Two options:

1) call the police and let her spend a night in the juvenile detention center. Since she wants to do things that could eventually land her in jail... let her see where this is taking her. You can also call the jail and see if they have any scared straight programs available, most will at least know where to point you. Sometimes the police will just come over and have a talk with her, and sometimes that helps out.

2) have her volunteer at a local homeless shelter. Since lying and stealing will only lead to skid row, take her and show her where that is and what that looks like.

I'm a big supporter of tough love and scare tactics. Good luck.

Kate - posted on 06/11/2012

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Can you explain that to the therapist before they see
Your daughter? I ask because one of our children
Completely fooled the first one he saw too. It was
Awful! We just tried another one and met with him
First to explain what happened last time. The second
Guy recognized what was going on immediately
After meeting with the child after listening to us.
In the meantime, if you need an ear to vent to, you
Can message me anytime.

Cristyn - posted on 06/11/2012

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I have tried therapy and she could careless. My daughter knows how to play the therapist and show her see I'm a great kid I do nothing wrong and what I do is not wrong, you even said so. You told me I just didn't know that it was wrong cause no one ever taught me, which is a load of crap. I have always told my daughter stealing is wrong and lying is wrong. But she doesn't care, she will do what ever she wants and discipline to her is a joke.

Kate - posted on 06/11/2012

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That one is so tough! When I was in care of a child doing the same, I took him to a therapist to see if maybe they could get out the reasoning behind it. I figured it wouldn't hurt and nothing so far had worked. The child ended up as having a 'containable' condition. It got better from there. When I noticed the same sort of behavior in my youngest, I did the same thing straight away. I don't know where you are, but Im in Edmonton Alberta and I took her to Casa and had them evaluate her. They gave me a reason, and strategies to try until we found some that worked at least some of the time.
I'm not saying that children who lie and steal always need a doctor, but quite often, even typical children that take it to that extreme can be seen by one who can at the very least give you some strategies that you may not have considered or tried, or may see an underlying reason.
The most frustrating thing in the world I swear is having a child immune to discipline. It never hurts to check.

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