My 18 month old has hit the terrible two's and I feel as thought i'm not sure how to deal with her.I'm only 21 and when she kicks out in public I can feel people staring at me thinking i'm just another young mum.am i alone in this???
Beth - posted on 11/07/2008
The terrible twos are nothing..lol..its the horrible threes that will get ya. I think at 3 years they start to realise that they want to do more on their own. Anyways, dont feel bad. I think every mother goes through that..especially at stores. Just dont let it get to you, I know with my son that if i just ignored it he would all of the sudden stop. I would let the public get to me either..most of the time the people that would stare at me would be other mothers smiling at me and saying dont you love them at that age?...Good luck dear!
Steph - posted on 11/07/2008
no your not alone i was 16 when i had my first child and i didnt stay with his father. i had no support from my family, as i pushed them away i thought i could cope without them. i joined some agencies who put me in touch with courses like parenting power and things like that, try those they are long and you do have to do it yourself but its good to know what you have to do and to be able to talk about your troubles on a weekly basis. good luck its hard but well worth it
Andrea - posted on 11/07/2008
I have a 26 & a 13mth old. I find when we are out & they chuck tanty's either I ignore them or try to distract them, depending on the circumstances.
Whilst grocery shopping where my 26mth wants to push the trolley etc, if he is walking & starts acting up, after a few warnings, he goes into the trolley. I find that letting them put items into the trolley is a good distraction & something fun for them to (not that I let them do the glass bottles cos I know things get thrown).
Occasionally, they reach out to others, like today, my eldest was walking his toy up a strangers arm, I apologised to the couple & the lady said that is okay, they wldn't be kids if they didn't do things like that. There are alot of understanding people out there.
Another way I distract the kids shopping esp if I'm doing a small shop & only need my twin pram, is to buy them lunch before hand & let them eat whilst I am walking around the shops.
Chin up, U will be okay.
User - posted on 11/06/2008
Hi there! My two shrimps are 9 and almost 7 now but I was close to your age when they hit terrible 2's. I looked 16 when I had my daughter and even now people still think I'm her sister. The best advice I ever got was from a little old lady in the store when my daughter was pitching a purple face scream fest in the middle of the grocery store. I remember I had just moved and was 8 months preggo with my son. This little old lady came up to us and very calmly said to my daughter "hey... your not doing it right, you need to stomp your feet and shake your hands more" and then she started to jump up and down and wave her arms and whined like she was throwing a temper tantrum. I'll be damned if my daughter didn't stop screaming and look at us like we were nuts. Her advice was don't let it get to you or at least don't show them it is getting to you. They are doing it on purpose, because they know mommy is getting mad and mommy will give me what I want if I scream so that I will stop. Don't give in. If they pitch a fit in the store encourage them to wave their arms around and tell them they need to do it right if they are going to pitch it. As for everyone else around..screw them! :) If they don't like it tough. Now, when they whine about not getting something they want I joke about it. I'll say outloud to people staring "I know, I'm such a mean mommy for not buying a toy (or whatever it is) for you. It is just so hard being a kid" Usually I'll get a laugh or at least a smile from the passerby. When you roll your eyes at them it works too.
I had one man come up to me and tell me that he had all boys and he never had a child misbehave in a store and that I needed to control my brat. I very sweetly asked him if he would like to babysit for a few hours. :) He walked away and avoided me in the store.
Also I have found it is much easier to keep the shrimps contained in a grocery cart so they have don't have a chance to run. I still make my son go in a cart if I have both of my shrimps with me. It's less stressfull that way. In a nutshell, try not to let it get to you. When they see that mommy's not mad or getting irritated they'll stop. Now except for the rare whine fest when they get tired I usually never have a problem. Good luck!!
Lynette - posted on 11/04/2008
You are not the only one. I am 24 and have a 4 and 3 year old. Was married but never got support from the spouse now I am a single mom while trying to go to school full time and making a life for my kids. My kids still act out in public. There is not much you can do but walk out side and try to calm them down and go back inside and do what you have to do.
Sarah - posted on 11/03/2008
Hi. I am just recently a new single mom and let me tell you, you are not alone! My son is almost three and can act out like a monster while I am in Walmart or the grocery store. I know how embarrasing it can be, but try not to worry what others may think of you. Just the fact that you are doing your best says enough! Besides, if those people that are looking at you are parents themselves they are probably thinking, "gee, I dont miss those days!" lol!!! Really its just a phase. I have people stare at me at the local grocery store because my son will literally scream and run all over the place. I have come to the point that I take him to my sitters just so I can go grocery shopping! Hang in there, it will eventually get better!
Fallon - posted on 11/03/2008
Definately not the only one. I'm 23 with a 2 1/2 year old and 10 month old. My daughter start terrible 2's around 18 months aswell. The past month she has slowly gotten worse. To the point of crying hysterically if she is told no. I have had and older lady glare at me and tell me that as a young mum I can't expect to have control over my children. I think she regretted the comment after I gave her an earful, as did another mum who I'd say was in her early 30's.
Katie - posted on 10/30/2008
My son is 2 1/2 and the Terrible T's started around 18 months for him. Someone suggested to things for me. First, when you are going out into public and you don't want any fits, hitting, screaming and yelling at you, before you get out of the car, tell your child what you expect. I would tell my son while he was still sitting in his car seat "What happens when we hit?" and I would answer with "We go home." I wouild repeat this over and over on the way to wherever we were going so that when we got there, he would know how I expect him to behave. And guess what, the first time he acted out after my little speech in the car, I took him home! After that, I did the same thing (gave the speech in the car, let him know what I expected and what I would do if he didn't listen) and he got better. I also did time-outs as a warning. After the time-out, if he still wasn't listening, I would take him home, no matter how much fun we were having. He's much better now.
The other thing I learned was to give them a choice but make it so that no matter how they chose, what you want to happen does. For example, my son is huge! He's about 37 lbs so when he kicked and hit, it hurt! He used to fight me about the carseat and I was late to work all the time. So I began telling him "Either you do it [get in the seat] or I'll do it [put him in the seat]". Because he's 2 and wants to do everything himself, he would tell me "I do it!" and would get in. And if he fought, then I would put him in. Either way, he was going into that seat!
I hope this makes sense and that it helps. Having a head-strong child facing the Terrible T's is hard but there are ways to at least make is easier. Good luck!
I know what you mean Im 26 my daughter is almost 22 months and hit the terrible 2's a cpl months ago. She will yell at me, hit me and others, bite me and scream while we are in public. If we are in public and she yells I tell her to stop and if she doesnt we leave. We also leave if she is biting or hiting me. I have gotten comments about how she acts occasionally but I am also 7 months pregnant and not in the mood for their bs on top of her acting out. Sometimes if we really need whatever we are getting I will take her into the family bathroom so she can stop doing whatever it is she is doing.
Rebecca - posted on 10/30/2008
I am 28 have two boys 9 and 5 and both still act out sometimes. I have gone the ignoring route and it worked for one kid but the other scream even louder. So I just started leaving the store or where ever we were. Just loading them up and walking out. We have left food in our cart at the grocery store and have left family gatherings. We have also walked out of school function and other social functions due to their behavior. This seem to work well for both of them as they are figuring out the better they are in public the more we to go out. Otherwise they get to go home and sit in their rooms staring at the walls. I believe that most of it is if they know they can get away with it and embarrass you they will keep doing it. When they find out that they have to pay for what they did and it makes them look bad to have to walk out of somewhere they will calm down. I hope this helps you out. Keep up the good work it will pay off eventually.
Jennifer - posted on 10/29/2008
No your not the only young mother out there. I am 26 and have a 4 year old boy. I know how it feels to have people stare. My son still throws temper tantrums out in public. I have recently started ignoring him when he throws his tanrums. I don't talk to him, I don't make eye contact with him, I just do what I have to do. Yeah people stare at me and make coments but it actually has lessened his tantrum time. I think the only reason he does it is to get attention and with me ignoring him he sees the he won't get it when acts that way. So keep your head up it will get better.
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