[deleted account] ( 14 moms have responded )
Hi, I'm a single mom in Minnesota. I've had some problems in the past with my son telling me he doesn't like me and he wants to live with his grandmother. She lives nearby and she helps me a lot by watching him when I need it, but her discipline methods aren't the same as mine. Particularly, I don't accept whining as a form of communication and I call him out on unacceptable behavior more than she does. I recently managed to get a divorce from an abusive husband and it's been a real struggle for me. For me, my son is the center of the universe and everything I do, I'm doing for him even if he doesn't know it and is too young to see the struggle. I've felt like our relationship has gotten stronger since I left my husband. I read to him and play with him. We're affectionate with each other all the time.
Today was a bad day -- he stayed with grandma last night so I could work and today in the car on the way home from daycare he yelled and screamed that he doesn't like me and wants to see his grandma. At home, he put his coat back on and grabbed a few things and let himself out the patio door to walk to her house. I know I'm the adult here, and a 4-year-old doesn't understand how what he says can hurt someone, or that he can't find grandma's house by himself in the dark in the cold and snow, but I really wanted to let him go by himself so he could "learn his lesson" and realize what he was doing. Of course -- I DIDN'T DO THAT, and i followed him, and eventually got him to come home by telling him grandma wasn't at home.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get rid of the heartbreak I'm feeling right now, or how to deal with this problem. He has a great relationship with his grandma that I want to allow to grow and develop. But oh god, I feel like he's rejected me. Does anyone have any advice?