My baby's father does not think he should have to communicate with me before she is born..

Bryce - posted on 07/18/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I am 15 years old and 7 months along with my first child. The father of my little girl thinks he does not have to communicate with me before she is born. His family ignores me and constantly they say that they don't think the baby is his. I didn't cheat on the kid so wtf. They want a paternity test when she is born , and they won't help with buying anything that I need to be prepared for when she comes. I am in a stable relationship with someone else , and he has a job. We live on our own he is 17 and wants to be there for this baby. Me and him started dating shortly after i got pregnant. Should i not inform the father when she is born and just live my life without his help? Because i have been told by many people that i should just not ask him for help and if my current boyfriend leaves me in the future then go after her father for support. Please i need some advice.

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Tylah - posted on 07/19/2010

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girl lemme tell you what im goin thru is just about the same thing...only im a lil older, im 20 and 7 1/2 months pregnant. :) The father of my daughter and i started dating in Nov and i got pregnant in Dec..things happened wayy too fast...but come to find out that he was with his ex the whole time (used me to cheat on her and got me pregnant)...I was heartbroken to realize our whole relationship was a lie...but it happens. His mom and other baby mama keep callin me a whore and saying that the baby isnt his and what not...anything they think that will get to me..they say it. so i know wat ur goin thru on that aspect. I just ignore it, even tho at times its really hard, i managae. I know i will do a great job at raising my daughter with or without him or his family in her life...i honestly think her life would be better without him cuz he is in and outta jail and has quite the bad record behind him....
but in your case, if your boyfriend is willing to do so, there is a paper to fill out at the hospital called voluntary paternity....if he is willling he can fill it out and "be the father of the baby" without a DNA test...or you can give the real father the chance to take the test and prove to him and his family that you didnt cheat on him...that is up to you...but either way you go, im sure you will do just fine supporting and giving your daughter everything she will need in life...i have faith in you :)
hope this helps...any questions, just ask
~Tylah

Tiffany - posted on 07/19/2010

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I am also pregnant with my first child and my sperm donor wants nothing to do with me.Although, he or his family has not denied that the baby is his.He has however, made it very clear that he doesn't care for me to contact him, his family doesn't mind, but that's a whole different story. In recent cases while trying to contact him I have been ignored, screamed at for no reason, and have had the phone hung up on me by him. As a result, I have decided not to inform them when the baby gets here, they do know when my due date is and I have tried numerous times to keep contact with them all...I just decided to stay away for a number of reasons.I'm sure you'll figure out the best thing, just do whatever is best for you and the baby...maybe you could factor out why you should and houldn't notify him hopefully that will narrow things down for you.

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Crystal - posted on 07/23/2010

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I have been going around in circles if i should notify my babys father that he is here and well I took the courage and messaged him. I put my selfish reasons behind me and thought my son needs to know who his father is no matter if he is involved in his life or not. The situation I am in is something I never thought I would go through but here I am. My sons father is married with kids and had an affair with me. I dont know if this is true because I am going off what he said. Now I thought okay what if I were to marry and my son gets to know that man as "DAD", then I wouldnt have to tell my son about his real father, but then I would have that big lie over me and if my son were to find out that I lied. That pain my son would feel would hurt me the most. So my advice is get the paternity test just so you have is on paper that he is the biological father and your daughters father has the legal obligation to pay for his responsiblity. So go and file for child support. I hope this helps. You will feel alot clear minded when you just do your part and let God work the rest. Besides you have nothing to worry about since you have a boyfriend who loves you and is willing to be more of a father to your daught then the actual sperm donor. ;)

Lorene - posted on 07/23/2010

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I was in the same situation as you. My daughter is 5 months and her father didnt meet her until she was 3 months. The only difference is I am was not in another relationship. What I did was write everything I know about her father down and put it in the back of her baby book. Let the guy that wants to be apart of the babys life do it not everyone gets that chance. Then in the future if she/he would want to meet the biological father then you would have the information. you can add me and if you need any advice ever ill give it to you!!! my name is Lorene Mosley

Brittany - posted on 07/19/2010

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I believe that you should give them a test; whether or not you cheated it will put their minds at ease; and if they dont want to help you with anything jus calm down take a deep breath and let things flow; Eventually they will regret it and feel completely stupid; I was 17 when i had my son; his dad didn do anything for him; & Has yet to; He knew when I had my son and yet has never seen him a day in his life My son will be 14 mnths on the 30th; My bf loves him; But you have to realize guys are going to throw the whole it aint mine thing up everywhere; Because they know they are in the wrong and they dont want to take responsibility of what they should; My sons dad has 11 kids; Not including my son. He has only seen 1 of his kids. My advice to you doll would be to give the baby the best life you possibly can even though at times you will feel she deserves better there is no better place than with her mommy. :) Ive learned from experience that life is hard enough just worrying about you; So you bring a kid into, that done mean you have to worry about her father too; because the way I see it if he wants to come around let him; and if he doesnt, thats fine too he will suffer in the end not you! Well I hope this helps sorry its so long!

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