my daughter is 3 months and my BD just had another child a week ago

Bianca - posted on 08/15/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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i was with my justin 4 almost 4 years i got pregnant and moved out because i found out another girl was pregnant. after going through him saying my daughter isn't his and his 'gf' messaging me saying they want a DNA test i finally let go. i got a job at 5 months pregnant where i was working like 12 hour shifts when i decided i want him in her life .. i met with him and told him i was no longer naming her Janiah and i decided on Ava which he didn't like but i was the only one around .. we ended up no speaking but i still kept in contact with his mother. .. finally iwent into labor MAY 7th he showed up with his mom but left and didn't want 2 sign the BC. his mom ended up making him he hasn't done anything for Ava and he's only seen her twice since birth. He has even denied her again ... Him and his GF decided to name their daughter Janiah the same name ava was supposed to have. .. I don't want my daughter to know this child .. her dad doesn't do anything 4 her anyway.. so what do you guys think

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Nokuthula - posted on 08/16/2010

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I had a almost similar experience. I was with my BD for six years before getting pregnent. I found out about an affair he was having same week i found out about my pregnancy. The was no excitement whatsoever on his side,,,but promised he'd leave the other woman, only to find that a couple of months later she was also pregnant,,,& guess what? he left me and my bump to be with her. They r now married and he wants my son to visit them. Its not happening!!! People always tell me its in the childs best interest and to allow him visits with dad and step mom, I know that one day when my son is old enough to make his own decisions, i'll allow him if he wants to be in their life but right i wouldnt be able to sleep knowing that my 2yrs old boy is under their care, I just dont trust them with my son. Do what feels right in your heart, no one can make u do otherwise. Gud luck.

Michelle - posted on 08/16/2010

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im in a very common situation!!! i found out my ex was having a baby with another woman when i was head over heals for him. they werent together anymore but still talked for the baby, i totally supported it. well after a while i found him cheating on multiple occasions so we broke up, a week later i found out i was pregnant. hes never denied my son but hes only seen him 3 times since hes been born, hasnt contributed financially and is now married to his other babies momma. i sometimes dont want my son to have a father like him but i dont know if not having a father in his life all together is worse! its a personal decision and only you know what is right for your daughter!!! its difficult but just know your not in this alone!! more of us moms have similar situations, just stay strong for your daughter! best wishes!!

Julia - posted on 08/15/2010

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Well it's quite unfortunate that some men are so immature. I have an Ava too but she is 11 months. I broke up with my ex when I was PG cuz he wanted me to have an abortion. He kept her a secret to his fam till she was 3 months old and I got in contact with his sister. He wanted to act like he didn't have a child and now he's thirsty to see her after being out of her life for 9 months. I would say limit ur contact with him totally because if he has another baby n relationship the odds that he will step up and be there for your Ava are very slim. I can completely understand your disdain for him and that other child, but it sounds like his mother will be there for your daughter so utilize her as a resource. Things will get better with time! Just focus on being a great mommy and worrying about him and his will just deter your full attention away from you daughter. Best of luck to you! btw the name Ava means 'life' how fitting, that's exactly why I chose it! :)

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