My daughter's father has no part in her life. How will I explain his absence when she is asks me?

Bonnie - posted on 06/03/2010 ( 90 moms have responded )

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She is 3 now and I know she will begin to wonder soon. I dont think she will be old enough to understand so how do I answer is in a way she will understand?

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Gina - posted on 06/03/2010

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I went through this with my daughter, who is now 15. I simply told her that grown ups sometimes make decisions that we don't always understand and that her dad has decided not to be in her world right now. I also emphasised her positive relationships with the men that were in her life her grandfather, uncles, and my best friend. You need to let her know that his decision has nothing to do with her. Over time, you may need to address this several times. Just always make sure you tell her how special she is and that no matter what she will always have you.

Barbora Milena - posted on 06/03/2010

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I keep asking myself the same question...He left us 6wks before my daughter was born, she is almost 7months old now and we have never heard from him since the day he walked away... I will tell her that her dad didnt want to be there for her, so he left and that we will look together for the right daddy... I also made a memory box for her, where she has a letter I wrote about him, his family(who are her grandparents, that she has cousins, that her fathers family lives in Spain, etc), she has there his photos, some of his things etc, so when she will be old enough, if she will want to know something about him, i will give her this box... I think our babies need to get info about their dads, to know where they come from...

Tiffany - posted on 06/07/2010

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I understand how you feel. My daughter is 19 mos and the only time her dad is involved when he gets her every other weekend. He doesn't call her for the whole 11 or 12 days that he doesn't see her or anything to check and see hows she doing.. Sometimes it bothers me because i dont think thats fair. Hes a good dad but I just think he should atleast check in on her to see how she doing! I understand she cant talk too much right but she can still hear his voice and babble and talk some on the phone!! Just selfish I believe!

Sonya - posted on 06/03/2010

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My daughter is 22 yrs old. And her father wasn't around at all. When she used to asked me why my daddy don't call or come see me? I would tell her honey I don't know but maybe someday he will come and see you and come around. Well, when she turn 18 graduated from high school. My cousin seen him and got his number. I let her call. And here he come to see my baby for the first time ever. And when his family found out that he had a daughter and when I say she looks every bit of him and her other two sisters. I never spoke bad about him around her. But when she went to visit her sisters they was connected forever now. Her big sister just welcome her and myself into her life. Also, the little sister came down and spent some time with us. And she loved her sister. She was under her like glue. She even was under me like glue. She calls me and her sister all the time. So now they know each other and when I say they stay in contact oh my gosh. But he did explain to her his fault and now he making up for the lost. It's hard but hey if he comes around he comes if not that is his lost of her precious moments of growing up.

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Renee - posted on 04/29/2013

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I have always wondered how I am going to deal with this question also. I am not looking forward to it. :(

Sally - posted on 04/29/2013

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My daughter is 6 and her dad doesn't want anything to do with her (he doesn't support her, either). She knows who he is and when she speaks about him calls him by his first name. She asks why she doesn't see him and I tell her I can't force him to - she accepts that. If I can avoid not telling her the truth I will but I appreciate some times the truth needs to be softened.

You read so much about dads wanting to see their kids and not being allowed to and it's such a shame that I have no objection to my daughter's dad being part of her life and he chooses not to.

We must all support each other - it really is the only way forward.

Good luck :)

User - posted on 07/06/2011

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My name is Kelly Martin and I am a producer for The Bill Cunningham Show. We are doing a show about "Parents At Odds" and I think we can help you. Please reach out to me, my number is 212-419-7410 or my e-mail is: kmartin@billcunninghamshow.com

Love U Nico - posted on 09/06/2010

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Well I was left in a icky situation as well, the father of the baby promised the world and said he wanted a child with me, we where together for 6 yrs separated and then got back together, it was never really stable i loved him very much, but when he found out i was pregnant he completely forgot about me, started dating this girl who has two kids and is only 19 years old....i know this girl is not responsible for our mistakes and for anything because she claimed to not have known but you would think that she would understand a little sinse shes been in a similar situation...I dont know what I will tell my daughter if she ever asks it's really heartbreaking because you never imagine yourself in this situation, and it's never the baby's fault but again you can't fix either...I just wanna be able to be there for her in any way I can just everything to her....although i do plan on telling her everything the truth and about the way I feel for him, he caused alot of pain and I'm not just gonna lie to the child she will make her own decisions one day about how she feels for her father.....that's the best I can do

Alison - posted on 06/18/2010

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Hi Bonnie. My daughter is coming up 15 and her father has been absent for nearly 8 1/2 years. I always explained to my children that "family" are people who love you. As your daughter gets older she will realize that "family" comes in different shapes/forms, and there are lots of children out there with no contact from their father. Just make sure she had male role models. Feel free to message me - happy to chat anytime. All the best :)

Marina - posted on 06/17/2010

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I get you totally, My daughter is 4 now, and just this morning her teacher told me that they where going to make Father's day cards, and ask me if I ever told her anything and to whom she should make the card for. it was such a shock, since I was pregnant I thought about it and never decided what was right. I end my relationship with "the doner" when I don't even know I was pregnant, he was an alcoholic and abusive. When she was like 1 month he called me (drunk of course) to tell me that he was so sorry and wanted to meet that angel and that we were the only women that matter to him (meanwhile he shouted to her new girlfriend to bring him a whiskey) He ask me to meet him in a friends wedding, so he could gave me his family's Medical History so I can see that he means her well. Obviously the day came and when I arrive to the party (like 11am) he was already drunk, and try to stage everything up like if i was there imploring for his attention, so I just walked away and since then I've always try to ignore him everytime we meet in friends reunions ( he shows up even though he was not invited because I was going) So, now i'm almost sure my daughter will arrive from school asking about his dad, and after reading all your comments I will make my best to explain her that what we decided as a couple has nothing to do with her and that sometimes grown ups can't be together. Thank you all!

Kara - posted on 06/17/2010

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i know the feeling i mean my babys dad was around for only 2 months and hes now 14 months..but he has another girl pregnant..so my son will soon have a sister but has no idea and im not sure if he ever will but when he starts ackin questions im not totally sure what i will say..cause i already know his dad is gonna tell him its all my fault and all that..but i guess u have to take it as it comes

Hokulani - posted on 06/17/2010

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i struggle with this myself. my sons father hasn't been in his life since he was one n a half months old. he's not involved at all. now that he's three and going to school he always ask mommy wheres my daddy? because he see's the other daddies picking up there kids. it's hard especially because there small. right now i just say daddy's not here right now.

Patty - posted on 06/16/2010

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I agreed some of the comments, so far my daughter almost 5, I think till wait for old enough will tell the truth, this moment she still have her dad image in her mind but so far is not good image but i didnt talk any bad things of him. I tell her that he is working oversea was very busy so dont have time to visit us. May be someday when he's free. But honestly she had ask me to get another daddy for her, dont know its good or not for me and her. So far till this moment, she is feeling good with all my family members.

Lori - posted on 06/16/2010

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I think it is hard to seperate feeling things on behalf of your child versus realizing that they are not going through the emotions that an adult would be feeling. I agree with a multitude of respondants that we should always be honest but should not villify their dad...remember if you make the dad out to be a shmuck - you are telling your child they are 1/2 shmuck and it may only create self esteem issues.

Nicole - posted on 06/16/2010

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:( I feel you. My son is only one and has only spent a week with his father and now he and his "new wife" are pretending he doesn't exsit. (Which frankly is okay with me) but it would be heart breaking if he ever asks "Where's my daddy?"

Lori - posted on 06/16/2010

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Bonnie - I am in your exact situation. My 3 yr old daughter's dad bolted when she was 3 mos old and hasn't looked back. I did bring him to court for support and that wrapped up well. What I am planning on telling her is that he was not ready to handle being a dad but that he wanted to make sure she was well taken care of and has provided financial support. One of my dd's little friends has already asked me where my dd's daddy is and I just said he was not around and moved on.

Tammy - posted on 06/15/2010

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I have twins that are now 14 and their dad rarely saw them the first seven years of their lives and still doesn't see them much. I did exactly what Gina said she did. I told them that I really didn't understand why he didn't want to be a part of our lives but I let them know how much I loved them and would always be there for them and we had lots of male figures (grandfather,uncles and friends) who were a very important part of our lives. I was honest from the beginning although in the early years, I did soften the truth a little bit. Honestly, they don't miss him. They know all about him but they do not have a respect for him.

Serene - posted on 06/15/2010

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Wow, i don't know how to explain this and i think about it constantly. I have a 8 day old baby and dad doesn't even know that she exsist. (MY CHOICE) I met my daughters father, dated him for 3 months and ended up pregnant. When i told him i was pregnant he was so excited and he started making plans on moving in together. I wasn't ready to move in together. I thought about my opitions of what i could do since i'm pregnant and i chose to keep my daughter. When i confronted him about not wanting to move intogether he got mad and claimed that the baby wasn't his.
When i was 4 months pregnant he argured with me with wanting me to name our daughter with his last name. I refused because he isn't going to stick around and both of my children are going to have the same last name as me. He flipped out and told me that he was going to take me to court. I told him too after he gets his DNA test. I never heard from him until i was 6 months pregnant and he asked me if he could get back with me and try to work things out. I don't want to be with him. I told him no and he said that he was sorry for not claiming her. I don't have time for it, everytime we get into an argurment hes going to say this to me, so i told him that he has to still take a DNA test. He asked me why and I told him i didn't think that she was his. YES I DID!!! He's been denying her this long why not.
Now i have a beautiful little girl and i don't care if i ever hear from her father again. She has enough male ROLE MODEL'S in our life that she probably wont ask about him. I didn't even tell him that i had her. If he really cared he would of contacted me by now. My due date was June 12th and i ended up having her on June 7th. After 72 hours if the father comes forward they have to pay child support and take a DNA test. So, i'm just waiting to see what happends. In the meantime i don't think that i'll have problems with him.

Bryndís - posted on 06/15/2010

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My youngest son is almost 10 and his father has never seen him. He has no interest in getting to know him. When my son was about 3 he started asking about his dad I told him that he lived far away. That was enough for the first years. But when my son was about 6 he was blaming himself, asking if he had done something wrong to make his dad not be around. Thats when I told him that his dad did not want him to be born and even though his dad made him with me he was no father, fathers do things with their children and teach them about life, so he really is no father, even though he is the dad. So my son knows the truth and has not mentioned his dad again since. So start with a simple white lie when your child is too young to know and understand the truth. The truth will be harsh enough when the time comes.

Carla - posted on 06/15/2010

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It is very heartbreaking! I have 2 girls from the same dad (they are 12 years apart) and he is active in my oldest daughter's life but told me that my lil one (4 years old) does not exist to him. She has asked where her dad is at and at first I didn't know what to say. Now I simply tell her that he lives very far away and maybe one day we can visit him. I think that has bought me some time. When she's old enough to handle the truth, I will definitely tell her. I agree with Gina (below) to let them know that it was his decision and had nothing to do with her or there is nothing she did wrong. And focus on the positive males in her life. And unfortunately, it's the dad's loss not the kids!

Desiree - posted on 06/13/2010

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how you will tell her will always run through your head i know because i think about it every time i see my daughter and son. I have two kids and from different guys. I ask my self the same thing and for me all i tell my self is there is no telling if they'll understand now or later. All i have to do is be ready when they do ask, because that's when it is time to explain myself. I know it's hard to understand this subject, but when they're ready they'll ask and i'll just say it as is. There's no easier way.

Jane - posted on 06/13/2010

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My daughter had not met her Dad at three and was asking questions - I gave her some information and showed her a picture. She seemed satisfied and when she asked again I would tell her more. There's only so much they can understand, keep things positive. We have more emotion about this issue generally than they do. She was just asking questions about this in an informational way. He showed up eventually and I believe that in some circumstances the absence and loss is easier to overcome than the presence of a babby daddy who was a poor choice. Great sperm/not so great co-parent. Know that the story you tell her is a beginning, we are not fortune tellers and can't predict the outcome. I guess, I mean don't say he's dead - if he is not, he may show up in a midlife, i want to parent, crisis later.

Natalie - posted on 06/13/2010

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My daughter's father has not been part of her life since she was one. When she started asking around the age of three I just explained in the simplest way that sometimes daddies choose not to stay around. It wasnt until recently that I started giving her basic details as to why he chose to leave.

Jemileesmom - posted on 06/12/2010

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I've dealt with this, but in a slightly different way- my daughter is four, her father and I split up when she was two. He has gone as many as 5 weeks without seeing her, when she was used to seeing him weekly. When she would ask me why her daddy didn't want to see her anymore, I told her that I didn't know, that she needed to ask HIM, as he is the only one who could answer that question!!

Tell your little one the truth, but remember to keep it simple. Children of that age aren't looking for long explanations, just a simple answer to the question they have asked. If she asks more questions, then keep answering them. As long as you tell the truth (without bad-mouthing him), and reassure her that you love her SO much, she should be fine.

Tia - posted on 06/12/2010

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i'm in the same boat as you.. i'm still trying to figure out what's the best way to put it so that when it finally comes, i'll know what to say right then and there, i don't want to blurt out because you're father's an irresponsible whore. i'm trying to find out something nice to say but nothing comes to mind ;[

Karen - posted on 06/12/2010

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I am going through this with my 3 year old as well. He knows his father isn't around and has told me recently that he would like a daddy with a mustache. I know very cute, but it also has brought up the questions. His father hasn't seen him since he was 9 months old. I have stressed over these questions myself. When they first come just give simple answers, such as daddy works in a job where he is not allowed to live with us. When I told my son that his face lit up and he was so excited and he asked if he was coming to see him right now which broke my heart and was worse when I told him that his dad couldn't come right now. He was so sad, but I told him how much I love him, and how much our family and friends love him and will be there for him no matter what happens. I guess what I am trying to say is at this young age keep it simple but truthful. It really isn't an easy thing but when she does ask the right words will come because you know and love your little one. Just have confidence in that.

Amanda - posted on 06/12/2010

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my daughters 'dad' left me when i was only a couple weeks pregnant and i never heard from him again. when she was abt 3 she started asking so i would just say that some kid have mommies and daddies, some just have mommies and some just have daddies. she accepted that answer without anymore questions. Then I met someone who she fell in love with, as did i, and eventually she took to calling him daddy and to her he was extra special because he was daddy because he wanted to be, not because he had to be. unfortunately he recently left us and this has been incredibly hard on her. she asks for daddy all the time, doesnt understand where he is or why he left. at this point i really dont know what to tell her so i tend to say that even though daddy left, mommies are forever and we never ever leave. i dont really know what else to tell her.

Lisa - posted on 06/12/2010

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My son is almost 5 and he has 2 sisters whose father sees them (obviously different fathers here) and he has never once yet questioned about where is his dad. He tells his sisters "Girls, your dad is here", and not once has he questioned for himself. He knows that he has a mom and sisters that love him dearly, he has a church family and friends that all love him, and at this point in his life he does not "want" for his "dad" because he feels loved and secure in all other ways. When the time comes I will tell him what he needs to know and as gently as possible. There are just some people that can't handle the responsibility of being a parent, and there are a TON of "dads" out there who are willing to make the babies but not willing to stick around and be responsible later on. Fortunately our children have strong moms, and we are there for our kids when no one else will. Our children will see that and they will be stronger adults and better parents for it. Hang in there, take it one day at a time! :)

Deborah - posted on 06/12/2010

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My daughter will be 5 soon. Her dad bailed on me 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. He has never seen her and she's never seen him. I truly dread the day when I have to explain it. I've gone over it many times in my head. I resolved myself to just saying that sometimes people aren't ready or at a point in their life for certain things. It has nothing to do with her or me, but him. I'm not going to talk bad about him, just keep it at honest as possible without laying blame anywhere.

Susy - posted on 06/11/2010

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I think you should always talk to her about her dad. When my daughter was 1yr old her father left. I have always told her she has a father, whether she understands or not you should always tell her he loves her, but doesnt' live with you guys. It's hard when they start going to school I would say about 3rd-6th It's really hard...Kids are cruel and will say the meaniest things. All you have to do is explain to your child as she gets older that he doesn't live with you guys. You don't have to go into details with her just say that he needed or thought it was best to leave. It's hard but hang in there. Kids will see the truth as they get older. My daughter misses her father but, when she was in 3rd-4th grade she missed him alot......as she grew older 5th-6th she understood and asked me questions, I told her the truth of why he left and she understood. She now knows how to defend herself from those cruel kids who say that she has no father......NOT TRUE!!!! She's almost 12 now. =) Hope this helps!

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all i can say is that im going through this now with my 7 year old daughter, she told me the other day how she wishes she had a dad, it was a awkward moment because it was so unexpected. i explained to her that at the time i was very young and all i wanted to do was concentrate on raising her and that her father was not very helpful which is the truth. however we have talked about this and we have agreed as mum and daughter to find him, so this will be a journey we can expirience 2gether and however it takes or consequences are we will do it 2gether

Amanda - posted on 06/11/2010

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there are so many simple ways to explain... all I can suggest is that you never, absolutely never, say anything negative about him to her. It might be the hardest thing to do but the best thing for her!

Desiree - posted on 06/11/2010

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there's no easy way to put it when you tell your child that they wont be seeing ther other parent every day. All u can do is just explain to them that even thought they don't see mommy or daddy every day know that you care and love them no matter what. And as they grow up they will learn and understand why, it's all a matter of time.

Devsmom03 - posted on 06/10/2010

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I have the same issue with my daughter who is now almost 7. I just kept reassuring her that I am here and always will be. My main thing was showing her how much she is loved. Her main questions didn't come until she started school and it was 'Mommy, how come you and Daddy aren't married?' I told her that Mommy and Daddy just didn't get along. When she gets older, I'll explain it all to her. She has mutliple siblings (older and younger) who were all born while I was with him that I didn't know about. She is too young to understand now, but I will talk to her when she gets older. For now, I just make sure she doesn't feel neglected or like anything is her fault. Good luck!

Jackie - posted on 06/09/2010

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that's a tough subject because i was thinkin the same thing too, i talked to his brother n we explained that we would have a family sit down n talk to her about it

Lori - posted on 06/09/2010

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Ya know...funny how things work. I got the email about this topic tonight on our way to church. My daughter tends to talk about her Dad more when it's time for church because she and our pastor have a pact that they will continue to pray for her Daddy. Tonight's conversation was short and sweet. My 6yr old tells me "Mommy my daddy just isn't good at being a daddy. I still miss him and me and Pastor Raymond will keep praying for him." Now trust me it has not always been that easy. She started questioning it around 2 1/2 -3yrs old. It complicated things a little more because she is bi-racial and his absence meant no contact with that part of her family. So she was asking about him and why she was "brown" and I wasn't. I actually work in child and adolescent mental health so I asked a therapist I worked with who specializes in younger children. She told me at 3 not to give a lot of detail and like a lot of people here have said, I didn't talk negative about him. I said things like "Daddy lives far away" at her age 5 miles was far away.lol Around that time I was able to get in contact with her father's ex wife and she was able to meet her older brother which helped a lot. Her father's family doesn't live here but she has met her uncle, her dad's brother and he has been wonderful. Those times when she needs a Daddy "fix" she calls her uncle. I have also made a point to keep positive male role models in her life. The questions come when you least expect it and like you I was stressed over it, but found out that the words come when you need them.

Dyanna - posted on 06/09/2010

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When my daughter was about 2 she started asking about her non-existent father, who was not around, nor did he want to be a part of her life. As difficult as it was, I showed her pictures of him so she could who he was and answered simple questions like what his name was, etc. When she asked the big question, where is he? I simply told her that he lives far away (which is true by the way) and left it at that. She accepted that answer and even now at 5, if she ever mentions him or is asked about him, she simply states "he lives far away." Until she is older and starts asking more questions, leave it simple.

Laurie - posted on 06/09/2010

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I never said to lie!! What I said is they are children and they don't need to hear adult problems! Let them be kids, most of the time these kids are better off not knowing everything and making the decision as adults to find the missing parent, or not to.

Eleanor - posted on 06/09/2010

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wait till she asks and just be honest that he was ready to be a daddy and maybe one day someone who loves her as much as a daddy should may come into your lives. i have two children one from my marriage whose father comes into her life every 6 months shes 10 now and to be truly honest to see her go through the pain of why doesnt daddy love me or do things like go to the cinema with just me and him hurts more then if he just stayed away my youngest is from a different relationship and like you when i told his dad i was pregnant didnt see him for the dust he kicked up behind as he ran but i never have to worry about the hurt that is caused be a half and half dad comming and going

Amber - posted on 06/09/2010

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Don't lie to her. Just tell her that her daddy made bad choices and can't be around her. That's what I'm gona tell my daughter when she asks a out hers and that's what my mom told me about mine. It's just better to tell her just. It the whole story

Laurie - posted on 06/09/2010

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Please remember and keep in mind...they are children! They do not need to take on adult problems! Your kids will turn into adults someday, at that point let them make the decision to make contact (if they want to) Sometimes, they are better off never knowing the absent parent.

Crystal - posted on 06/09/2010

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I keep asking myself this same question I didnt know how to explain it to my first when she was 2 and was asking me why her daddy didnt come and get her after he told her that he was, thankfully I didnt have to explain it to her after she tuned 3 because he is there for her all the time it's almost like he never left but when i did have to explain things to her i just told her something may have came up and daddy couldnt be here. but now I have a second daughter whos dad had nothing to do with my pregnancy and was only there after i gave birth to her because my best friend kept calling and texting him the whole day, although I dont know what I am goin to say to her when she asks, but I do know that I am not going to talk bad about him because thats not going to do anything but hurt me in the long run. Best of luck

Angela - posted on 06/09/2010

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I am trying to figure out what to say when my son gets older and asks. Being honest is the best way to do it.. If they can handle the truth. If not I would sugar coat it for a while til your daughter gets older and can understand the situation better. I don't know why he is not in her life, but as for my son's.. He basically doesn't want to be there at all and he is involved with another woman and child so he's too busy with that... Make sure to mention if you tried to have him involved to let her know. Piece of crap fathers are known to show up later in life and change the whole story and make you look like a bad person....Anyways.. Single mothers are amazing, and don't ever feel like you aren't! I hate men who doesn't want to be in these precious children's lives! But these kids are definitely better off!

Shannon - posted on 06/09/2010

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My son is 4 and is at an age when he is asking alot of questions about his father. The only advice I could give would be to be as positive as possible. Dont talk bad about the other parent in front of or to your child. Some day they will make their own decision. The best thing to do is tell them something positive like "He knew that I didnt want to share you because I love you so much!"

Angel - posted on 06/09/2010

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As honestly and simply as you can depending on the reason I suppose. Mine has nothing to do with us either. I'm going to tell her that his life was too complicated. He needed to help himself before he could help us. Good luck.

Myra - posted on 06/09/2010

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Tiana--I was exactly like you, I believed that a relationship with the father and his family was so important that I would pay for him to visit Tristin. I would fly him out to Iowa whenever he or tristin wanted it. However, he would only come to visit to inspect how I was raising Tristin and play head games with me so I finally had to end it and let him know that if he really wanted a relationship with his daughter than he should use his own money and make his own arrangements to come visit. After the last visit where my 5 year old said to her grandpa "all my dad was sleep all day and drink all night."after being asked how the visit with her dad went, I realized that until he cleans up his drinking and drugging I want her to have no contact with him. But I do agree with you on a relationship with the paternal family is important.

Myra - posted on 06/09/2010

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Tristin is 7 almost eight and her dad was in her life off and on for about three years. As of her 5th birthday he has totally stayed out no phone calls, cards etc. However, he is a drug/alcohol addict and I have explained to her that he loves her but he is having problems in his life that cause him to make bad choices when it comes to his kids. I always try to keep it where my negative thoughts are out of my explanations so that when she is older it is her choice on how she feels. Just be honest with her from the get go. I know it is hard when it comes to someone hurting our kids(a father not being a part of their childs life is the most hurtful thing to me), but I always let her know he loves her. Tristin was about 3 when she started wondering if she had done something to make her dad act like he did with on and off contact. I hoped this helped you. Just remember she may not have him but she has you and you give her enough love for two parents.

Josie - posted on 06/09/2010

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My daughter has just turned 4.Her father only saw her 3 times before she was 3 months old and never since and has no contact. In the last year she says to me I don't have a daddy I just have a mummy.....I just reply with thats right its me and you! Never once has she asked were her dad is or who. The time will more likely come but at the moment as she has grown up without one and therefore for accepts that so I wouldn;t worry too much and see what happens....

Kathryn - posted on 06/08/2010

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I was a child whose father decided that he did not want to take on the responsibilty of being a father. When I was around the age of 4 I asked my mom why I did not have one of those. We were at pick up time for day care and fathers were picking up their little ones and I had noticed that I did not have this happen like the other kids did. Of course asking this question kind of upset my mom at the time. But she answered it the best she could... "Your father is gone. He chose to not be around." At the time it really did not phase me and I immediately went off and played like nothing had happened. As I got older I did get a little more curious as the years went on. And she always answered with the truth, "He chose to leave us; He did not want to be around" and she made it clear to me that it was in no way my fault. So I guess my best advice to this question is to answer it truthfully and do what your heart tells you. I am now 22 years old and have a daughter who has of yet not met her father. She is 6 months old now. Having been through the experience I went through has helped me understand the situation a little better on the child's side and I hope that I will be able to relate to my daughter even better. I wish you luck in this matter. And keep in mind children are pretty resilient if you think about it. She is your daughter and will always love you no matter what- even when she is 16 and tells you she hates you. lol

Holly - posted on 06/08/2010

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I know exactl what you mean.. I am going threw the same thing with my oldest son...His dad left when I was 6 mnths pregnant..All he knows is my fiance now is like a father figure to him and when he gets old enough to understand i will let him know.. Its diffucult cause he has a differnt last name as my other son..

Tiffany - posted on 06/08/2010

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its very hard to explain something like that at that age u could tell he is away right now and when she is old enough tell her the truth but u have to do what u feel is right to say to her

Benita - posted on 06/08/2010

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It is difficult to deal with these issues.be honest with your child but in a simple way,do not unnecessarily burden the child with the complexity of adulthood.If you believe in prayer and God,then pray that God will give you the answers as to what to say to your precious girl.The two of you will come out of this relationship stronger.

Joanne - posted on 06/08/2010

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My son is 5 and his father is not around either. How I explained it to him when he came home from daycare and said the kids had told him he had no daddy and he was different, was that he most definately had a father. Every person has a father and that I am sure his dad loved him in the best way he could but he was not ready to be a daddy (between me and you hes in his 30 hes just a deadbeat) and that he was way to special of a little boy to be loved only half way. So instead all the love he was supposed to get from a mommy and daddy was given to me so he was getting it all in one place.

Alicia - posted on 06/08/2010

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I have been wondering how to explain to my 4 year old little boy about why his daddy doesn't call him or come to see him anymore. I like how you did it...as it is when he asks me now all I can think to tell him is I dont know and it hurts. My son's father has seen him maybe a handfull of times since just before his first birthday.

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