Regina - posted on 08/08/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )
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I don't know what to do. He made the claim awhile ago, but now has been in the hospital alot and things dont sound good. He has a very bad history of drugs that caused the problems. And of course lying comes with that. I dont trust him, but I dont want my daughter to be mad at me in the end when I just want to protect her. I dont know what to do. Should I contact him. Please help!!!!!????
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Jocelyn - posted on 08/10/2012
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Before making the journey, you could contact the hospital he's staying at to confirm he's there or tell him to have his doctor/nurse contact you to verify the state of his health. I wouldn't make a trip of that distance based purely on his word if he has a history of lying.
Beth - posted on 08/08/2012
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When she asks, it could be worth giving her a bit more information. Depending on what you know, you can provide her with as much (or little) as applies to her. You could say something along the lines of (at the moment) that Dad is busy sorting out some medical issues. When you have more information you will let her know. Also reassure her that he knows (assuming that he does) how to contact the pair of you and that when you know what is going on/have more information you will let her know. Certainly until you know a few more facts about your ex's medical condition, be sensitive to what you let your daughter know. Stay within the truth and to the facts (that you know/are aware of) and go from there. Nothing wrong with giving a vague answer (within reason), until you can back up what's being said and you know what's going to happen in the coming weeks/months.
Regina - posted on 08/08/2012
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i probably should have added that he lives in tenn and we live in ohio and hasnt had contact with us in apx 5 years, she is almost 9.. she asks about him but i am at a loss as to what to say anymore, the old "he just needed to be somewhere else" isnt working anymore
Beth - posted on 08/08/2012
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You could let your daughter know that her Dad isn't in the best of health. Let her spend some time with him. Depending on her age, let her know how much she needs to know/be made aware of. Also see if you can get further information on his medical state - is just ill or life threateningly ill. Once you've found out how ill he is (and confirmed it through at least one other source) then you can inform your daughter, again taking age and development into account.
Michelle - posted on 08/08/2012
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I would contact him if he is really dying she will resent you for not allowing her to have whatever time she has left with him. If he is not but is really sick at least she is spending time with dad. Do it for your daughter just tell her dad is sick until you know exactly how sick.
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