my six year old still sleeps with me, is this a problem?

Christina - posted on 07/08/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

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my six year old still sleeps in my bed...i know, i know...i need to transition her but I feel safe when she is with me..and i know she feels the same way. do you think this will cause a problem in the long run (if its not already) and is this the cause of her always wanting to be next to me(or is that normal for a 6yr old girl)..any advice or suggestions?

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Sherry - posted on 07/09/2011

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I have a 6 year old daughter. At our old house, we slept in our own rooms. Once we moved into our new house, I noticed that within a month that she had somehow moved into sleeping in my bed every night. So I made her go back to her own room. BUT....I now sleep in her bed (a twin bed...lol). Personally, I don't have a problem with it. Just like you, I feel safe with her next to me. When I sleep in my own room by myself, I just lay there and worry about her. I don't think that it is going to affect their intelluctual or social abilities. I doubt that this is the reason she always wants to be with you. I think it is just part of being 6. Enjoy it! She probably won't think you are so cool when she is 13! ;-)

Sarah - posted on 12/28/2013

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Safe? Really? Your child IS safe when they go to bed. Do you think someone is going to come in and steal them or murder them? You all must be single and have separation anxiety. I have the issue but daddy is sleeping with the 6 yr old daughter cause she "needs" him to sleep with her. Honestly, this child is jealous of daddy kissing, hugging and sleeping with me. Counseling is needed for all of you who think it's still ok. Once they start climbing out of their cribs, it's time for their OWN bed.

Nicole - posted on 11/21/2013

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My six year old daughter has slept with me since birth and I have witnessed several benefits as a result. She is a very independent, confident, and smart little girl. Since she was a baby she never sucked her thumb or had an attachment to security objects, such as a blanket or pacifier. As a busy single mom, sleeping together gives us more time to read books together and snuggle before falling asleep. Over the past month she transitioned to sleeping in her own room, at least five nights a week, completely on her own. There are a lot of people out there that will try to tell you that co-sleeping is unhealthy and wrong but there are several studies that prove otherwise. My best advice is to trust your own instincts.

Mhairi - posted on 08/26/2012

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My 5 yo still sleeps with me. I wouldn't worry about it. I am of the feeling that she will transition herself (my daughter). She has been like this since she was a baby, and I got hell from people, but I don't care. Co-sleeping in my home is fine by me. Honestly, she will know when she is ready, as my 5yo is only in a few times a week now. good luck!

Katrina - posted on 08/21/2012

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ahhh yaay! I am glad to hear other moms ok with this! My 3 1/2 year old son still sleeps in the bed with me and my favorite part of the day is waking up with his smiling face and snuggling in the sunlight before the madness of the day begins. I think it forms a special bond between us to greet the day..and also to talk about the day we had/ read books before bed. His dad works out of town and I do feel safer having him in the bedroom with the door locked when we fall asleep, but I think that is only a small part of why I have not forced him to sleep in his own room. (and yes I think at this point I would be forcing him) Some day he will want to sleep in his own room...and someday he will move out of my home...but for now he is perfectly fine...snoring next to me!

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Jodi - posted 4 days ago

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My 6 yr old son sleeps with me and is the most mature, independent, outgoing, extroverted child I know. He has his own bed, but his dad has come and gone do many flipping times that he knows I will not leave and we have a strong bond. It does not in any negative way affect him or his behavior and I believe families have lost tight bonds in so many ways due to TV, computers, cell phones, iPads and do not spend that time that is needed together. Lying down for bed and waking up are the most stressless parts of the day and to share that with your children is 100% healthy. Yes there is a cut off point to end this and as they grow older I guarantee you my 14 yr old has no interest in sleeping with me and I wouldn't have him sleep with me any longer, but he did until he was 7 and has never showed signs of separation anxiety or any other unhealthy behavior. I'm their mother and they are my children so I cannot understand why a few of you mothers are so critical about it. You must not understand how important being extremely bonded to your child is. There is an entire day of waking hours to teach your children independence.

Tammy - posted on 03/01/2014

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I would just like to say this.....I loved snuggling with my babies but as they get old i feel it allows for them to sleep better and develop an indepence that is needed as they grow....so by allowing them to sleep with u..One say u have dinner guest but its ur childs bed time oh let me lay down with her/him i will be back....HELL NO! that is BS and say they go to nanny or pops house or anyones house for that matter they cant sleep without YOU! that is not good!

Dana - posted on 02/18/2014

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My four year old son still sleeps with me and I personally don't see it being a problem but my mom does and she is getting on my last nerves about it so what should i do about getting him to transitioning him to his bed in his room, any suggestion?

Mhairi - posted on 12/28/2013

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It isn't a separation or anxiety issue for us- do you ever stop to think that they are going through their own personal hell - all of a sudden mum and dad are not together anymore. Stop to think about your child's comfort and support. Also, it may help them realize that one of the parents isn't going anywhere and in this case- mumma bear is staying put. I am in full support of co-sleeping. My kids are with me and for them to be sleeping peaceful, means I get a good nights sleep.

If co-sleeping gives my kids a sense of security that they need in the world, then they are always welcome.

Allison - posted on 07/13/2011

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yes this is a problem. its not healthy for either of you. she should use you for comfort not the other way around and its part of her learning independence. Her sneaking into bed with you would be normal and every now and then let her stay but its time for her to sleep in her own bed unless there are other circumstances.

Shamie - posted on 07/13/2011

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awww,i have also been wondering if its okay,i sleep with my 6year old son,i just feel hes safe when he sleeps in my bed..and he cant sleep in his own bed,he begs and begs,saying mommy this is the last day am sleeping in your bed and i give in...dont know what to do...

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My daughter is 1.5 years old and has slept with me in my bed since birth basically, and if at the age of 6 she still wants to that will be fine with me. I am single and don't intend to have a man around, and I would worry too much too if she wasn't there with me.

Like Sherry said, once she wants independence she'll be outta there. LOL Enjoy it while you can is my motto. A healthy bond with your child is wonderful in my opinion. It is our "western" society that frowns on this close bond, and demands that children be isolated away from the parents for the parents sake... I disagree. I think it is perfectly natural for children to want to be close to their parents like this and create happier emotionally adjusted children.

Check out this:
http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/five-be...

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