My son is inappropriately staring at my feet?

Melissa - posted on 02/08/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I'm a single mom, raising two daughters and a son. My son is 15 years old, he's an athletic, obedient and talented kid. However, since he was about 10, I have noticed that he would often look down at my feet when I'd walk passed or something. I love being barefoot or wear flip flops/sandals at home. I do work a lot, so when I get home I just lay down on the couch, take off my shoes and socks to feel the cool air touch my feet. I do this a lot and have noticed that my son would walk around or would sit down across from me while using his phone and peeking at my feet. Recently, he's been getting into my room and has been smelling my feet. I can hear him breathing and feel him lightly touching my feet with his nose. I wanted to scream! However, I don't want to catch him in the act because I feel like it'll mess things up. One time when I drank a glass of wine, I guess he assumed I was drunk and kissed my foot!! I felt it and slowly got up but he quickly left. I started locking my door, and I drink in my room with the door locked because I don't even want to know what he'd do. I now keep my socks on a lot too. Should I talk to him about it? What should I do to help him? Should I just not mention it at all? He's a teen, and I know he's thinking of all sorts of stuff. I don't want to make him feel ashamed, but I also want to keep my daughters out of this, since I probably think he'd do the same with them.

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Shelbe - posted on 02/09/2016

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Seems like he has a foot fetish and feels weird about it. I would let him know what you've noticed and explain that the thoughts/feelings are normal, but the behavior needs to change...Like you said he might do the same with his sisters, he might already do it. Maybe suggest redirecting those urges to more acceptable behavior, for example a foot massage over casual conversation. He's not doing anything wrong be being excited about feet, and shouldn't feel he has to sneak around. Plus free foot massages and bonding time, kind of a win-win right?

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Shelbe - posted on 02/15/2016

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Sure, no shame but clear boundaries. Also you may be interested to know that fetishes are often conflated with sex but generally its a strong desire for or becoming aroused by an inanimate object.I heard some internet statistic that 1 in 5 women have a shoe fetish (which wouldn't surprise me at all if it was true). I'm no psychologist, but I don't think you need to worry about inappropriate relationship developing. If he had a car fetish and you had a sweet ride, would you feel weird about letting him drive it from time to time? Idk just food for thought...

Melissa - posted on 02/11/2016

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I have been learning more about this fetish stuff and I am sure my son has it. I will talk to him about just for the safety of my daughters. I don't want my daughters to find out either, unless they already know or something. I don't want to make my son uncomfortable or feel ashamed, so I will let him rub my feet from time to time, as long as things don't get to far. I'm perfectly fine with him looking at them but it does bother me knowing that he might be thinking of my feet sexually

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