My son wants to live with his dad. What do i expect with sibling separation??

Melissa - posted on 06/19/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 10 yr old Drake has had it rough with bullying at school. My 8 year old Cole has aspergers and adhd , and has always been dependant on his older brother for help. The strain of that is a lot for a 10 yr old to take. As he gets older, his brothers words hurt him because Cole lacks empathy (aspergers) and can be an embarrassment, leading to Drake feeling angry and resentful. Lately they fight non stop and often physically. His father and I agreed to let him try out a fresh start in the country with his dad an hour away. I've taken care of my eldest and his brother from the time they were 3 and 2. This is going to be very hard on me. I worry how hard this separation will be on them. I believe it will be good for my son Drake ( 10) to have some bonding time with his dad, and have a fresh start without the bullies and to be able to be a kid without the constant head ache of helping with his little brothers needs. It will be good for Cole (8) to learn to do things on his own. But is a separation going to be okay for them? How can I make the transition okay for them? And I'm trying to be encouraging because ultimately I just want my son to be happy, but I'm going to miss him so much :( What do i expect? Anyone gone through this??

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Kristin - posted on 06/22/2012

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I honestly believe both children will be fine, you just need to be honest and supportive of both of them and say that it is just a temporary thing to help make both your kids happier. It will be hard but your making an ultimate sacrifice to make a happier life for your children, They will still see each other regularly, as it is only an hour drive and I am sure your ex and yourself will remain in constant contact to see how things are going. And it just may even strengthen your childrens bond with you and one another as they will not constantly be in each others face and both will have to learn some independence. I wish you luck

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User - posted on 06/27/2012

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Thank you. I kept wondering if this was good or would be detrimental. He seems too young to move away from me. But I'll probably say the same thing when he is 20 not 10. I hope it all goes okay. Its really hard to let him go out to his dads, but its for his own happiness. And thats the important thing.

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