User - posted on 03/26/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )
My ex has recently got himself a new girlfriend (no I don't hate her etc) they've been together 2 days, met each other for the first time 3 days ago and only spoke via facebook and text for 2 days prior to that. He told me about the relationship yesterday and said he wants to make it work cos he needs to get over me. This has somewhat deteriorated our relationship, I think he's moving too fast and already she wants him to change our visitation arrangement. For the past 8 months, he has visited our daughter at my home. We've got on really well. Now he wants to change this. He thinks it will upset her. I refuse to take our child to his parents house, where he lives, as they are heavy drinkers with a tendency for violence. I cannot see why he is putting his new girlfriends needs before our child. He barely knows this girl. I said to arrange a meeting with her so I could get to know her vice versa but he won't cos he doesn't want to risk he finding out he actually only asked her out cos I wanted to wait til I was ready to get back into a relationship with him. Now he has said he will go through the courts. I've suggested we go to Citizens Advice and organise mediation. No reply. Tomorrow is his usual visiting day but he said he won't be coming as he has made plans with his girlfriend. They've been together 2 days and already he's blowing off visits! I am desperate to resolve this. He has become very aggressive and so I feel like it's going to be a very nasty custody battle. Will the courts find it unacceptable that he is prioritising his sex life before our child? I'm going to fight for sole custody and then allow him contact at a distance until he can get his priorities straight. Please help me. I am so scared that if he's granted custody that he will introduce my daughter to his violent parents and also this new girlfriend. He is unemployed and lives with his parents if this makes any difference. My daughter doesn't have a really strong bond with him, he isn't very hands-on even when he is here.