new single mom; fears

Lauren - posted on 08/18/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I left my daughter's father over 2 months ago, and although I know it was the best decision I could make for myself, I just hope that my happiness reflects onto my daughter. I know its still new, and she's only 1, but I am filled with all these fears of her being angry with me about it. What will I say when she first asks? And then asks again when she's older? How will she feel when she finds out that most of her friends' parents are together and hers aren't?

Her father is bitter, but also very immature. And I worry that if she goes to him 1st asking about it, that he will make me out to be the bad guy and try to turn her against me.

I'm sure all these feelings and fears are normal, but it will help greatly to hear other single moms experiencing the same thing

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Sarah - posted on 08/18/2010

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my situation is kind of similar, my childs father has walked out on us.i know that it is the best thing because he has a problem with drinking. but i want the father in my childs life, and the only thing that we can do as mothers is stand strong and show that we are better off. with when she first asks i would say that her father and you love her very much and its for the best and when she gets older tell her the whole situation to her understanding. if he truely cares about his daughter the way a father does he isnt going to tarnish your name.
i feel the same way though because its a hard thought to swallow when thinking of having to say something like to your child.

Leah - posted on 08/18/2010

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the feeling and fears are normal. My son will be one here in a few weeks and his father left us(more then once), and finally i put a stop to it.i know he will try to trash talk me and make me out to be the bad person, but i'm not going to let it get to me. My son is growing up knowing that his mother will always be there for him, and that his father isnt ever around. As kids they will learn their parents true colors. Your daughter will learn that her father is immature and bitter because if he is that way with you and other he will be that way with her as well. She'll know her mother made the best decision for her...Keep your head up!

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