New to Group and Needs to vent Help!

Reba - posted on 11/28/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Well, Hello I'm new to this site after being so closed in about my emotions and feelings on being a single mom in the military. I've tried Babycenter but it was so many arguments and constant fights about nothing. My story starts from March 2009, the night that changed my life when I met my now 10mon old son's dad. We met at a club, and I blame myself for it because I was so lonely and depressed down here that I felt so desperate to find a guy that would occupy my time. We hung out every single day from the moment we met, it was like we were Bestfriends and I couldn't have been more happy. He we home on leave (army guy) about 1month after I met him and he came back acting very strange. I found myself so addicted to him and very clingy so I got mad and we met up at this back alley to talk....I thru a cup of juice in his face and that's when the beginning of the end came. He began to assault me in the middle of the street as if I was another guy for a good 15mins, and people were just standing around watching and did not help. After that I left and was in shock for 2days before I reported it. The day I wanted to prosecute him...I found out I was pregnant. I was confused, angry and didn't know where to turn. Slowly but surely he wiggled his way back into talking to me, telling me to keep the baby and he loved me (so on and so forth) being stupid I fell for it. He continued to keep other girls and sell me dreams...Telling me we were going to get married in Sep (2009) and be a big happy family. Come december I was 9months pregnant, he told me he was engaged to someone else and to pretty much F off. A week before my son was born in January he got his number changed and I had noway to contact him. I had my son and everything seemed ok, but my heart was still broken...I suffered from Major Depression, had to get put on antidepressants and couldn't stand one bit of my life. The last time I spoke with him was in June or late May, asking him "what happened to you wanting to be a dad?he told me "I don't know what you was hearing" and "you got lied too". I couldn't breathe at that moment..Here it is I had a baby that he was dying for and he said some stuff like that...Not to add he also informed me he was married now, and he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I guess my son doesn't need that, but I just feel so angry with the world and hurt. I've never been so hurt for this amount of time. I consider myself to be strong serving in the military, active duty as a single mom...but I don't know how much of this hurt I can feel, it's like I just became Numb to all feelings and I hate it...He sent me another message in Sept, because I filed for child support. He's over in Iraq now so he responded by telling me how he's soo happily married and he has a son on the way due in February, and that he can finally get his dependent pay oh and "Love y'all". What the hell was I thinking and when will I get over the guilt of the stupid decisions I made while I was talking to him?

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Janice - posted on 11/28/2010

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I think your right. I don't think there is a wife, just trying to make a dig at you. My ex pulled that stunt too. Doesn't sound like he has any idea about respect or family with his message from iraq. Some would kill for those moments and he wasted his.
Congratulations on the career. Its tough being in the military. I have one nephew in the Marines and one nephew in the Coast Guard, both are in California.
You sound like you have a lot going for you. Including someone with a fighting spirit, good. Your son will grow up to be a great man because he has you.

Reba - posted on 11/28/2010

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Yeah, your right....Honestly He's a full-time liar, and I really don't believe he's married...Let me give you a perfect example of what time of clown this guy is. I watched a tape of his division from iraq giving s/o's to home...everybody is saying "I wanna give a s/o to my wife, kids, i love you ext ext"...He gets on camara and says "I wanna give a s/o to all the real playas out there"

Janice - posted on 11/28/2010

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Stop kicking yourself. Hope you don't mind me saying this, but I know exactly how you feel. I knew my children father for fifteen years. We dated off and on before we got together the last time. I came home to find him over dosing, I took him to the hospital where he basically died. He was on life support for two weeks. Thats when I found out I was pregnant for the second time with his child. My world pretty much collapsed. Found out he was lying to me about everything, he took a couple of swigs at my oldest child and denied both babies. Broke my heart, just shattered it. I felt horrible. The pregnancy was trouble and the birth nearly killed me.
That was a year and a half ago. Now, I have the most awesome kids life could give me. I am buying a house. Things are great.
As for him...thanks for the sperm, make your child support payments on time and NO, we will never get back together.
Sometimes bad things happen to really great people. Make him pay his child support, get sole custody so you don't have to deal with his sorry a**. If his wife wants a man that made a child with another woman while engaged to be married to her. Well stupid is, as stupid does. Good riddence

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