Reba - posted on 11/28/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )
Well, Hello I'm new to this site after being so closed in about my emotions and feelings on being a single mom in the military. I've tried Babycenter but it was so many arguments and constant fights about nothing. My story starts from March 2009, the night that changed my life when I met my now 10mon old son's dad. We met at a club, and I blame myself for it because I was so lonely and depressed down here that I felt so desperate to find a guy that would occupy my time. We hung out every single day from the moment we met, it was like we were Bestfriends and I couldn't have been more happy. He we home on leave (army guy) about 1month after I met him and he came back acting very strange. I found myself so addicted to him and very clingy so I got mad and we met up at this back alley to talk....I thru a cup of juice in his face and that's when the beginning of the end came. He began to assault me in the middle of the street as if I was another guy for a good 15mins, and people were just standing around watching and did not help. After that I left and was in shock for 2days before I reported it. The day I wanted to prosecute him...I found out I was pregnant. I was confused, angry and didn't know where to turn. Slowly but surely he wiggled his way back into talking to me, telling me to keep the baby and he loved me (so on and so forth) being stupid I fell for it. He continued to keep other girls and sell me dreams...Telling me we were going to get married in Sep (2009) and be a big happy family. Come december I was 9months pregnant, he told me he was engaged to someone else and to pretty much F off. A week before my son was born in January he got his number changed and I had noway to contact him. I had my son and everything seemed ok, but my heart was still broken...I suffered from Major Depression, had to get put on antidepressants and couldn't stand one bit of my life. The last time I spoke with him was in June or late May, asking him "what happened to you wanting to be a dad?he told me "I don't know what you was hearing" and "you got lied too". I couldn't breathe at that moment..Here it is I had a baby that he was dying for and he said some stuff like that...Not to add he also informed me he was married now, and he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I guess my son doesn't need that, but I just feel so angry with the world and hurt. I've never been so hurt for this amount of time. I consider myself to be strong serving in the military, active duty as a single mom...but I don't know how much of this hurt I can feel, it's like I just became Numb to all feelings and I hate it...He sent me another message in Sept, because I filed for child support. He's over in Iraq now so he responded by telling me how he's soo happily married and he has a son on the way due in February, and that he can finally get his dependent pay oh and "Love y'all". What the hell was I thinking and when will I get over the guilt of the stupid decisions I made while I was talking to him?