nine year old misbehaving

Tracy - posted on 03/18/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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i have a 9yr old girl how answers back never does anythin i ask she screams her head off when ever i tell her to b good she doesnt listen to anythin i say, she comes out with i hate u, i wish i was never born etc. she has started to nick thinks it start with little things from her brothers but now its comin to money of me n things from school n lyin bout everythin, i have taken her t.v ds n stopped her playin out etc nothin works, i do everythin4 her like i do 4 her brothers (i get none of this of her brothers), she isnt lik this with her dad i dont no y cause he doesnt do anythin but the sun shins out of him (me n her dad split but her mouth n moods was still lik this when we was together but its got worst her dad does tell her off but she doesnt listen when hes no around. i just dont no what to do anymore could anyone help

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Tracy - posted on 03/19/2009

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Quoting Vikki:

HI. I have 2 kids (8 & 5) I work in a nursery and although the children are younger the issues are the same. The key (and this is from practice and training!) is ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good. DOn't give her a question she can answer NO to. You have to give options (e.g. do you want to help sort dinner or do you want to tidy the lounge - that kind thing) It's soooooooooo hard to get where you wanna be but honestly, like I said from experience, if you persevere it will work. If she says she hates you, tell her you love her and give her one reason why (i.e. beautiful smile). Set your boundaries and stick to them. Give her the choice, such as of you shout then I will not listen, if you take from me then next time I give treats you will ahve to miss out. It's not gonna be \n overnight change more like a month to be honest, but you really have to be strong and mean what you say. Temper tantrums should simply be ignored as they are just simply her saying give me attention, but make sure you give the attention when she is fine! Even just starting a conversation with 'how was your day?' or 'what shall we do at the weekend' is something positive and with perserverence she should start to respond. Had to deal with similar and the outcome is great! Deep breaths and chin up hun! x


i told her last nite cause she had it on her shoutin n stampin bout she could do the pots 4 me i gave her gloves n she was fine bout it n i sat talked to her bout everythin she is doin n explain now she lives with me full time i can afford to give her pocket money if she behaves i said we will start with 25p 4 after school then if she keeps her room tidy n behaves n pots we will talk bout puttin money up, she was happy bout it n said instead of havin 25p could she have a £1 on thurs so she could get some figues every1 is gettin n she will not ask 4 anymore all wk so said yes but she has to behave, it will b hard but if i stick to it i hope it will get better but will b some full back now again but if only she has i mood awk i dont mind with that, thank u 4 answerin me i will try what u say

Vikki - posted on 03/18/2009

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HI. I have 2 kids (8 & 5) I work in a nursery and although the children are younger the issues are the same. The key (and this is from practice and training!) is ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good. DOn't give her a question she can answer NO to. You have to give options (e.g. do you want to help sort dinner or do you want to tidy the lounge - that kind thing) It's soooooooooo hard to get where you wanna be but honestly, like I said from experience, if you persevere it will work. If she says she hates you, tell her you love her and give her one reason why (i.e. beautiful smile). Set your boundaries and stick to them. Give her the choice, such as of you shout then I will not listen, if you take from me then next time I give treats you will ahve to miss out. It's not gonna be \n overnight change more like a month to be honest, but you really have to be strong and mean what you say. Temper tantrums should simply be ignored as they are just simply her saying give me attention, but make sure you give the attention when she is fine! Even just starting a conversation with 'how was your day?' or 'what shall we do at the weekend' is something positive and with perserverence she should start to respond. Had to deal with similar and the outcome is great! Deep breaths and chin up hun! x

Tracy - posted on 03/18/2009

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Quoting Demetria:

If she behaves with dad, can he help?



tried that but he selfish in away hes just taken on a pub so now he is only havin her 1 nite on her own n 1 nite with all the kids but he always sends them 2 his mums at nite, i no some off it is 2 do with not seein her dad but i dont understand y its me she does it 2, i've tried tellin him to talk to her he does but she listens then but when she back here she does what she wants but sometimes she is lovely lik but 8/10 she isnt, i try not listenin to it but when its all the time i just cant as i have a 1yr old thats her half bro n hes gettin upset when she is on 1 n his dad will not get in middle n he works away so i feel i'm on my own just keep on smiling xxxx

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