Jeneh - posted on 07/11/2012 ( 21 moms have responded )
I have a 5 year old daughter with my ex-boyfriend. I have not filed for child support, but feel that I should at this point. So here's a look at what's been going on. Over the past 2 or 3 years he has paid for her daycare expenses totally. I felt if he wasn't going to give me any financial support each month, he should at least take care of the daycare. He has been working now for about 1 year. He complains that he can't drop off or pick up DD from school because of his work schedule (says traffic is so bad in the evening). He lies a lot, so I'm not sure what his actual work schedule is. Also, because the car he's driving is so old and in need of repair (despite the fact he has had no car note for years or insurance payment), he takes public transportation some days to work and can't pick her up. So, the set-up has been that I usually have DD every week, Mon-Fri and every other weekend.
He owns a condo that is currently in foreclosure (and will be kicked out very soon), and he drives my 14 year old car that I was no longer driving. I pay the insurance on it. I recently demanded that he pay the insurance, and will soon transfer the title to him so that the insurance and registration are in his name. He is 44 years old and I feel it's time for him to start being a real adult. He is extremely lazy and irresponsible. He had to drive my old car because he didn't pay his car registration renewal,got pulled over, and they impounded his (very old, beat up) car. He never went to get it from impound.
I have been dealing with my mother passing away from cancer a month ago. During the time that she was sick, I traveled out of town with DD for weeks or a month at a time. He did not offer any financial support at all. Although he constantly asks if there is anything he can do to help, he doesn't actually do anything. He often asks on a weekend that he should have DD if I can keep her because he has a party to go to (Really?). But, always proclaims his daughter is a main priority in his life. I told him today, that he needs to get a babysitter if he has something to do. Of course, he put the blame on me saying that he has asked me who my babysitters are and I haven't set that up for him.
I'm not working right now because of my mom's illness, but I own a home and have my finances in order. Honestly I just don't want to have to deal with him and the lies anymore. I need to file for child support (in GA) and I am looking for any advice that can be offered before I do it. I'm also hoping that the court can outline a mandatory visitation schedule, so that he doesn't use lame excuses and pretend to have to work to get out of having DD.
I have some friends who don't even have children giving me their 2 cents about how I should be handling things. But, I don't trust that. Any advice you ladies could give me, or what I can expect about the process. Do I need an attorney?
Oh, here's an extra tidbit just wanna throw out there. Back when he was planning on marrying me, one day we were lying down on the bed and he pulled out a box with his ex-fiancee's engagement ring. He just handed it to me and said I wanna give this to you and get married at some point...Wow. I wasn't my size or anything, just so little effort. His previous wedding was cancelled just weeks before the big day. I never got a clear answer as to why that happened. He just said they argued about stupid stuff. Yeah, I bet.