Overnight Stay with Non-Custodial Parent

Abby - posted on 04/27/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am expecting a baby boy in June and the father and I are no longer together. I would rather create a child custody schedule on our own rather than getting an attorney and mediator involved. I was wondering what age is appropriate for an overnight stay with the non-custodal parent? Also, I hear short frequent visits are best for the non-custodial parent to promote bonding time with him. How often should you let the non-custodial parent see the infant and for how long? What age is appropriate to start this? Thanks for your help!

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Ginger - posted on 04/28/2012

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I think you should allow as much contact and bonding as possable providing the Dad is loving and it contributes to the well being of your baby. It is a great idea to work it out without the use of lawyers and court systems. Just be honest with each other and considerate of your baby's needs too. This is nice to hear. If it were me I would say come over and visit within these hours of they day any time, please call this amount of time ahead (so you can be dressed and pick up whatever mess caring for baby leaves). Every week I would provide heads up about certain days that are spoken for, whether it be Grandma or what ever. I wouldn't let the baby go overnight more than once a week until over 6 months. THen again if ya'll were together i think the Dad would be holding a newborn and doing such care for the baby soo. What ever makes ya'll feel comfortable. If it were in the court, they wouldn't force overnight stays until after 3 yrs of age. The first time I let my baby spend the night out he was 10 months old.

Michelle - posted on 04/27/2012

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My ex and I seperated when my son was 11 months and this is what we did, For the first year my ex got my son every Wednesday evening for a few hours and then every Saturday for the majority of the day, I wasn't breast feeding so this worked. When he was 3 he started going every other weekend for both Saturday and Sunday coming home each night to sleep in his own bed, as well as the wednesday night visit. At the age of 4 he started his overnight visits every other weekend at this point his dad dropped the wednesday night visit as he had started working funny hours. My son didn't start extended visits at Christmas or in the summer until he was in grade one.

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