Parental rights.....what can I do to remove them from the biological father?

Kimberly - posted on 03/30/2009 ( 44 moms have responded )

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I'm not going to say too much because I'm trying to do this right, but I was just wondering if anyone else had gone through this. My son's biological father hasn't seen/spoken to/asked about him since his 1st birthday and my son is now nearly 2. I've heard you can remove the parent from the birth certificate and that will remove their rights. I'm just concerned of what his BF might try to do when he's older, and my boyfriend is going to adopt my son when we get married. Any advice on what else I can do??

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Valerie - posted on 01/06/2014

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Well now I have a question ... My fiancé and I had a baby in August, we've been together going on 2 yrs I also have a 2 yr old daughter and her biological father hasn't been in the picture for over a year yet alone isn't on her birth certificate. Can my fiancé adopt her? Will it be hard?

Jessica - posted on 04/08/2013

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i hear you on that as to take away the rights im in the same boat I have two little girls who i love one father is paying me good in child support but he dont get to see her very much because he lives 4 states away and i would never take away his rights, but the second father i have been having trouble with he lost his job because he called my brother restarted anyway he got fired because of that well he has not paid me child support sense last year and the child support cant take any because he is drawing off of ssi disability and they cant touch it he has texed me and told me that sense he was not in the room with me when i gave birth to her that he does not have to pay me any support and from what child support has told me if they have not seen or paid child support for over a year you can take away a fathers rights

Kaitlyn - posted on 12/22/2012

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I'm in the same boat! My son is almost 2 years old and he has only been around his BF less than 4 hours his whole life. All I know is if the BF doesn't have contact of the child or commutation with him/her for like a year his prenatal rights can be pulled, but I think it depends on where you live! But my situation the BF mother is trying to find a way around grandparents rights sense there isn't any in Wyoming.

Jennifer - posted on 04/02/2009

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I have been a law student for the last 2 years and also a paralegal for 10 years. I can honestly give you this advice...



You must consult an attorney in your state... laws vary from state to state. Most states require that the other parent has had either no willing contact for 2 years or can be proven a danger to your child.



Signing away your rights to a child or unwilling termination of rights does not necessarily mean that that parent will not be held liable for child support. Infact, most cases that parent may not have rights anymore but the court will still hold him/her liable for support.



Again... laws on this topic vary from state to state and it is very important that you find out what the laws are for your state before taking anykind of action. Most attorneys provide a free consultation... It would be wise to take advantage of it.



Hope this helps some.



 

Susan - posted on 02/23/2013

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PAYING CHILD SUPPORT BY WAY OF PAYROLL DEDUCTION - ALENATES CHILDREN

My ex and I split after his infidelity issues. We have 4 wonderful children. Youngest now 19. when we split in 1998 and finalized divorce in 2000 after 20 years...My main concern that he stay involved with the children so as to give them the love and support of both of us. I worked 2 and 3 jobs to keep the roof over our heads. Yes he pay child support and that is his view of support. He maintained visits for 1 year and then less than a year for 2 younger (his girlfriend did not want to see the older 2). Then the waiting at the door for him to show up began along with excuses not to see them. He never so much as seen our youngest get on a bus. He stopped seeing them completely. The youngest called his work one day and asked when they would see him....fthr's response "I don't think I will see you anymore"......that was 13 years ago. He now wants CS dropped because he believes they are all emancipated...younger 2 in college and he stated to judge that he didn't think they were college material....Now that is what Fostering their LOVE is all about? What goes around comes around in life....he will one day be in need of their support and they will not be there for him. To make matters worst....The Judge could care less that he has alienated himself from his children. all 3 sons military with 8 tours under their belts. The scary part is my fthr did the same to us as well. That was the one thing I had asked was to not do what our fthr did to us...be kind, loving and supportive of our children. Parents like this need the judicial system to step in and make them pay for the emotional traumas they cause to our children.

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Sam Melissa - posted on 12/26/2013

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i have a new question. im married but dont live with my husband right now. he has given my 9 month old baby to his mom and i want her with me i have custidy of my kid but his mom wont give me my baby back! no even on christmas her first. i have called cops and everyone they say because im still married if my husband jake says its ok for his mom to have her then theres nothing they can do. i have asked his mom debbie who has my baby to bring her to me and she will not. do i have it in my rights to go to her house and take my kid?

Justice - posted on 11/06/2013

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I NEED HELP !
my daughter is 2 years old, and her father has not been there at all !! I do not make him pay child support nor is he on the birth certificate. When he does call he only wants to "hangout" with me, and never ask about his daughter who he denies to everyone but me. Am I able to have him sign over rights, so that 10 years or whenever down the road when he realizes what he did that he can not go back to get rights and be able to see her? I don't want anything to do with him because he has not done anything for her at all.

Virjinia - posted on 07/09/2013

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I need help i was told by a friend i can go through court for abandonment my daughter is almost three years old her bf has only seen her like five times when she was a year old but has never boughten her anything she needed it was his parents paying for it and he acted like it came from him but everyone knows he never worked now he tells everyone that i dont let him see her but really when he contacts me about her its just one sentence about her and then he picks a fight with me after i told him to f' off and off and right me when its only about our daughter now he hasnt asked to see her plus my daughter doesnt even like her bf when he was around her he forced her to stay with him and onetime she tried to slap him to leave her alone and he threatened to slap her back and this is when she was suppose to get to know him plus he threatened tokid nap her so dhs had me sign the safety paper work so child support wont go after him i would lile to take his parenting rights away hes not evenon the birth certificate cause i knew he wasnt gonna be a good dad to her please i need more advice

Kathy - posted on 11/10/2012

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you cannot alter a birth certicate without the other parents consent. And any false information put on a birth certicate can result in jail & big fines. And your boyfriend cannot adopt the child without the father willingly & legally withdrawing his parental rights. play this carefully as the father can at any time take full custody of the child & you could be fighting to see him. it does happen trust me. it doesnt matter that he hasnt seen him in nearly a year he still has full rights & can take over if he chooses. you dont have as much say or control or rights as you think you do as his mum. Do not get off side with the babys father as it can back fire majorly. The step father which is all your partner will ever be has no rights but his father does.

Kimberly - posted on 04/20/2009

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It's 6months when they are under 2 for abandonment here. He's made that mark and then some, so I'm hopeful.

Christa - posted on 04/18/2009

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Unfortunately they typically have to agree to sign their rights away. However after a certain period of time it is considered abandonment and many states in the US will allow you to file to have rights relinquished. You would have to look up the individual laws for where you live. Best of luck!

Cherie - posted on 04/15/2009

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It is really difficult to do this. My ex-husband hasn't seen my daughter in over three years. Nonetheless, he still has rights to my daughter if he so choses to exercise them. The worst part is that if I do not answer his call (he hasn't called in 2 years) the one time he calls, then I can get into trouble. So, every Sunday I have to make sure that my daughter is available to him even though he doesn't call! It is very hard being a single mother especially when the ex is not involved. Best of luck to you!

Kimberly - posted on 04/15/2009

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Bah, looks like courts may be the only option, but I had hoped not since I don't want the BFs mom to have to go through something like that since she's rather fragile due to some circumstances that have gone on the the last 2 years. I hate to make her suffer more for her son's idiocy. I'll check out that link though.

Tiffany - posted on 04/14/2009

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You need to go through the custody battle first and get custody established. (My daughter was given my last name as well.) By not establishing custody through the courts, you are giving the BF more rights than you even know. He could take off with your child and there would be absolutely nothing you can do about it because he is the father and custody was never established. I just went through all of this. I have full custody and he only gets to see my child for one hour a month, supervised at that. That all became final last month, and that is his visitation until she is 18.

He has not paid a single child support payment (she'll be 1 next month). The next step will be terminating his rights. I am in Texas, but here is a link that can give you some insight on how it works.

http://tlo2.tlc.state.tx.us/statutes/doc...



Feel free to contact me anytime. I just went through almost a year of all this with my attorneys and the courts.

Brandy - posted on 04/06/2009

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It is very difficult to take parental rights away from a parent. Do you have sole Parental Rights and Responsiblities? You need to check the laws of the state that you live in. Unless there is severe abuse most states will not take away parental rights.

Brandy - posted on 04/06/2009

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It is very difficult to take parental rights away from a parent. Do you have sole Parental Rights and Responsiblities? You need to check the laws of the state that you live in. Unless there is severe abuse most states will not take away parental rights.

Kimberly - posted on 04/06/2009

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Well, my son has my last name, not his BF's. I refused on the grounds that my child was going to be living with me and on my insurance claims. I didn't want the issues that come with kids with differing names.

[deleted account]

Relax.. Go get a lawyer. They can always fix this. You can claim it as typographical error. I don't know how the justice system runs in your country, It happened to me here and My son is already 7 and now he is legally under my name. Coz when he was still 6 months old, my live in partner wants to get him away from me, but sorry for him he arrived late , I already made some changes..

Claire - posted on 04/06/2009

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hey . i'm going throught the same thing rite now . my son hasent sen his father since he was two weeks old . he has had contact but never asked about him just about me and all the personal things. well now he wants vistortation rites its so hard when he has been in my sons life but can cause all this problems why are they aloud to do that i wish i had his rites taken away from him but now my son is going to thorugh all this . its so hard but dont let time pass u so go and do it straight away before the father decides to destroped ur son's life i wish i did.

Sharon - posted on 04/06/2009

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a chamber of magistrate might be able to help you.if the father has made no attemt to contact the child then the magistrate can overide the bf's rights.hope this helps and good luck

Kimberly - posted on 04/05/2009

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It's not even the money I'm concerned with. I'm concerned for the welfare of my child. My boyfriend wants to adopt my son when we get married, so child-support is rather a moot point, especially since my parents are the ones who do most of everything right now. I'm a full time college student with a job as a lifeguard and I work over 15hrs a week. I'm waiting to hear from the Graduate program to see if I will be working on my MA in the fall, and I will be returning to my job after a summer course in Louisiana in June, which is why my son lives with my parents. My mom loves it anyway since she's getting to stay at home with him like she couldn't with me and my sister. I go home every weekend to make sure that I spend time with my son, and my boyfriend does too. He works more hours than I do a week, but he works nights as an emergency operator for the Veterinary School/Hospital, and is deciding between a MA program or Vet school as his next move when he graduates in December. Between the 2 of us, once we graduate, money won't be a problem, and I don't want to be vindictive about it. I just want my son to be cared for, and not by someone who the only thing I hear about is that he's never in class because he won't get up and go and if he's not sleeping through class, he's probably out drinking with buddies. I have the name and contact info for a lawyer, so I'm going to talk to the state records department and see what they can tell me before I have to call in the big expensive guns....but still......

Melissa - posted on 04/03/2009

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As far as I know, the child support can't fall back on a grandparent. You could check with that lawyer to be sure. If you decide to file for child support, you could definitely have a strong case for them to do withholding from his paycheck. Any job he takes that holds out taxes and any income tax returns he gets from now until your son is 18 be subject to the withholding. The attorney general tracks his SS#, so unless he changes his identity or works for cash for the rest of his life, it will follow him. And from what I've heard, even if you are able to terminate his rights by making a case for abandonment, you may still be able to receive child support. A lawyer would have better details for where you live, but in Texas if you make a baby, that child is going to be financially supported whether you have parental rights or not, and the government will follow you and hound you until you do, one way or another!

I really suggest you start taking the legal steps for either the abandonment thing, child support, or both if you can. I lived in that limbo of not knowing for 1 1/2 years, and going the legal route was the best thing I ever did. The not knowing was driving me crazy with your same problem... what if he suddenly shows up in 10, 15 years? That court order gave me so much more certainty than I had before. Give both yourself and your son some peace of mind and stability.

Danelle - posted on 04/02/2009

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hi there, i went through the same thing and is still kinda going through it anyway i have a son from ex he is 3 in may and its been nearly 3 years he walk out when bub was 4 weeks old since he has tried contact or anything and he also will not pay child support. When i meant my hubby when bub was almost 3 months my ex started a lot of trouble and so did his family in the end the police ended up chraging him anyway when i found out that i can get his rights taken away i thought great and got right on to it well then i was told that he would have to agree to it and u know what he said well i went to find out what is next and now i am putting to the courts for them to take his rights as he dosent want them he just dont do it cause i asked him and i have every good case and we are hoping it gose to plain but please let me know how u go its so hard but yeah





Kimberly - posted on 04/02/2009

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I've thought about doing that, but I'm very very afraid that the money will lash back onto his mother. He's only had 3 jobs since I met him and he never lasted through them all. The first was a camp counselor, and he stayed for 2 weeks, then quit, the others only lasted a few months. I don't want them coming after his mom, who's lost her job and can't find one since she never finished college, even though her records for work are great. I would have to make sure that it could only come from HIS money first and not from her in any way. I won't make her suffer in any way for her son being an idiot. That and I really don't want him around. All I hear from him from mutual aquantences is about him going drinking or running off to Florida for Spring Break when he won't even see his son who is only 15miles away from him.

Melissa - posted on 04/02/2009

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Go to the courts honey! Get the legal documentation to show that your the one making an effort to look out for the child's best interest. I did that on the advice of a friend's parents, who happened to be family law attorneys. In my situation, I filed for child support through the attorney general to force him to make a decision... step up, or give up your rights. In my case, he had a light bulb moment and actually started being a decent dad. The court ordered him to pay a year's worth of back child support (which they withheld from his paycheck and tax returns on my statement that he had promised to help and hadn't sent a penny on his own) and I was able to request that his visitation start out supervised for a certain period of time. Follow the lawyer's advice, they know the right and legal way to do things, and they deal with it on a dayly basis.

Kimberly - posted on 04/02/2009

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I have talked to a lawyer here. He said that I could file for abandonment if he went longer than 6 months with out contact until he was 2, then it moves up to a year. We've hit that mark, I'm just trying to avoid courts if I can.

Kimberly - posted on 04/01/2009

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See this is why I'm so confused about it all. Someone my mom works with went the removal from birth certificate route for her kid and that worked, but I've heard other things too. And each state is different. I don't think that it will be an issue considering that the BF does nothing. No child support, no visits, phone calls, letters, nothing. My boyfriend does everything, down to making sure that he never goes more than a week or 2 without seeing my son if he can help it. We both work and are both full time students, so yay for schedules.

Andrea - posted on 04/01/2009

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You boyfriend unfortunately can't adopt him until his father signs over his rights. You have to go to the court system and tell them you want to a motion moved to remove the parents rights. Until this goes through than he still leagally has a say in what happens even if he hasn't shown any interest. At least this is what the court system said in Minnesota. I know its frustrating because i have the same issue. My sons father doesn't treat my son properly and he comes home not taken care of. And the court told me that I had to wait until something really bad happened. And if down the road your sons father comes back wanting to see him and what not, than he would have to motion it back into court. Once his parental rights have been taken away DO NOT LET HIM SEE YOUR SON after wards unless it is motioned for court. And as far as the leaving the state you can put that in your file that the only way he can leave the state is by having it approved and if he doesn't return your son than make sure you report it cuz its a felony on his aspect. Make sure you have current up to date pictures and about your son written down cuz otherwise when being asked by cops you may forget little details. Hopefully this was helpful.

Gina - posted on 04/01/2009

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i dont no anything about removing him with out him being present, but you can file for full custody and at least that way he will have no rights.

Kimberly - posted on 03/31/2009

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Thanks to all of you for your suggestions. I'm trying to do this the right way...but it's never easy.

Joelle - posted on 03/31/2009

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i know wot ur going through .. i'm going through the same at the moment!! however i have no idea of what to do about it myself!! i also want to remove him from the BC but they've told me its a long process!! Hope you achieve your objective soon darling xxx if i have any info on that i'll defenatley get back to you !! Take care!! xx

Yvonne - posted on 03/31/2009

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Each state has different family laws. My experience is that my oldest sons' biological father has never made any contact with him since he was 18 months (he is now 10 years old). He does pay child support. His whole life he has seen him twice (which he doesn't remember). He was 3 months old and the last time was 18 months old. I met my husband of 8 years (soon to be ex) when my son was only 7 months old. When he wanted to adopt I had to send him papers to voluntarily relinquish his rights. He didn't do it! I had to make a choice...I called him and talked to him and he asked why would I even consider that he would be willing to do this..(while I'm thinkin well you don't even see him) I told him that my mother had passed on and I started to think and wanted my boys to grow up together if anything happened to me. I have a son with my soon to be ex. He said he would think it over and get back with me. He never did! I had to make a choice...do I rock the boat and give him the opportunity to start demanding the visits that he was entitled to Just to get back at me  or do I just wait tell he turns 12...The state of Texas your child can decide who he wants to live with at the age of 12.  My son doesn't even know him so the odds are good for me!!

Kimberly - posted on 03/30/2009

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I never asked for money from him, so long as he made regular visits. That was the deal, so I guess he's screwed there too. I think that the courts would side with us and not him anyways. I'm a college graduate with one BA working on another BA and towards my MA and my boyfriend is a semester from having his BA (he's a year younger than me) and is trying to decide between a MA program and Vet school for being an Therio (sp??) tech. and both of us have steady jobs and we live together and are paying for most of our bills associated with out apartment ourselves. The BF lives in the dorms, has had 2 jobs that I know if that he quit in less than 3 months, and has failed at least one class a semester since he started college. All I hear about him is his drinking episodes with buddies. As I said....I think we'll be okay, but I'm trying to see what my options are.

[deleted account]

The way it is here in PA is that if there is a 6 month span in which there is no contact from him, when I meet somebody and fall in love blah blah blah, they can adopt. The father doesn't have to consent because they can do an involuntary termination of rights because of the 6 months that he went without contact... even if he were to start contacting me after that 6 month period. What they won't do is terminate his rights until there is somebody there to take his place, because in the eyes of the court, 2 parents are always better than 1. (Shows what they know...) I didn't put his name on the birth certificate, but he can still pursue rights if he ever cared enough to. I'm glad you have a fiance that cares so much! Good luck with everything!!

Jeanette - posted on 03/30/2009

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Im in Australia and its pretty much the same, if you have a justified reason then do what is best for the child , I agree with Renee . Dont sit and ponder too long. I dont recieve child support and he owes me 20,000. A lot of fathers do walk away because of the money issue...its stupid really. Just do what is right for the child.

Kimberly - posted on 03/30/2009

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The husband to be is the only father supporting the child. The BF doesn't pay child support, doesn't call, send letters, emails, nothing. He goes to the same university as me and I've even seen him on campus. It's like he decided to not care. The husband to be has been there for my son since he was 8months old and that is Daddy to my son. The BF also only saw my son a grand total of 3 times, all in a 2 month time span, in 2008, and about 6 times in 2007.

Renee - posted on 03/30/2009

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If he comes for a visitation refuse to let the baby go and as soon as possible get to the friend of the court and tell them what is going on and ask for supervised visits. If he has threaten to take the baby don't wait....Get a restraining order. Most men will give up their rights just so they don't have to pay childsupport no more, but you husband to be has to be your husband at that time because in the Judges eyes a child has to have a father supporting the child.

Kimberly - posted on 03/30/2009

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I'm from Mississippi, and the reason I asked is my mom works with someone who said that the removal from birth certificate worked for her. I'm just trying to figure out my options. He doesn't pay child support, or help us with my child in any way at all, while my boyfriend has made it a mission to be there for my son. He works every other weekend but spends every weekend off at my house with my son and made sure he was there Christmas morning and helped us get set up for his birthday. I think we'll be okay considering the biological father's failings, but....

Renee - posted on 03/30/2009

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Quoting Renee:



In most states the Bological Father can sign their rights away only if you are married to the new boyfriend and everyone consents to including your ex.



A father can lose his parental rights and still be legally responsible but can't be adopted without his consent






 





 

Jeanette - posted on 03/30/2009

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I dont know where your from . law is different everywhere ,  i went and had a parental order filed with the court when they were young , it ment that you had more of a leg to stand on if something did happen. If he didnt return them by the specific time i was legaly able to send the police over to get my kids as he would be breaking the order. If you have concerns you can set it up that you are there at the visit or someone you trust is there , but it has to be a very good reason.  You can do this yourself without a lawyer. 

Renee - posted on 03/30/2009

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In most states the Bological Father can sign their rights away only if you are married to the new boyfriend and everyone consents to including your ex.



 

Kimberly - posted on 03/30/2009

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I've asked a lawyer about it, and he said it was 6months if a child was under 2yrs, and his father made that a while back. I'm trying to avoid a huge legal battle because I don't want that nor do I want my child's paternal grandmother to suffer something like that. I also don't want to have to keep up with his deadbeat self until my boyfriend and I get married and he adopts my son. I think it won't be a problem due to the circumstances, but still I worry. I'm afraid that he's going to try and force my son to have visits with him with out me and that he'll just disappear with my baby.

Jeanette - posted on 03/30/2009

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Hey , my understanding is that you have to get the father to agree and sign a court document , in the future he still has rights if he goes back to court and seeks them , dont quote me on it . My two kids have not seen or herd from there father in over five years , i decided not to do anything about it in regards to rights because as i see it he has to go to court to gain access and i will explain all then to a judge , he is yet to do this , also check with your family law court about abandonment by the father . Jen

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