please give me some piece of advice to overcome my problem with my husband because he's with another girl and he said he will not support our children anymore?!

Jennifer - posted on 05/09/2011

I agree with everything that has been said....I went thru it ...my ex told me he would pay $100 a month if he could afford it for our 3 kids? I said no way...I got a lawyer filed for divorce and custody...it took some time to finalize the divorce but he was shocked by how much he was ordered to pay...I have been raising 3 kids with disablites for 9 years now..we established our own traditions and have a much better life than we would have him ....I went to school got a good job bought ahouse and he has since been divorced again with another kid he cant afford and living in the basement of his current girlfriends basement...but I still get my childsupport

Jane - posted on 05/06/2011

Get yourself a lawyer with a good reputation for success. Have him file for divorce, child custody, and child support. Then set about raising your kids the best you can. Do not bad mouth their dad to them, just go about creating a new life in which you and your kids can be happy.

Melissa - posted on 05/06/2011

Aisel: My guess is you and your husband will be in a courtroom facing a judge or magistrait for a divorce. The choice to support the children conceived during your marriage is not up to you or him; that will be decided by the courts. Child support also has nothing to do with visitation. Meaning: if your husband is court ordered to pay child support that doesn't automatically give him visitation of the children. Take a deep breath, contact a lawyer (if necessary, call legal aid), talk to the lawyer about what you have been dealing with, file for a divorce, and let the lawyer and the courts do the hard work while you pull yourself back together and take care of your children. The most important thing for you to remember is; you and your husband are grown and can choose to hurt each other. However, your children did not ask to be born. No matter how bad things might get; you need to keep yourself together, take care of your children and yourself, do not say anything bad to your children about their father (even if their father says bad things to them about you), do not put your children in a position where they must choose between their two parents, and last but not least, let them be children for as long as they can. I know from experience how it feels when your marriage is over but, your children need you to be strong (even if it is only an act for their sakes), they need to know by watching you that this will not destroy you or them, and that they will make it through this. Please try to remember, no matter how lost, broken, and disappointed in yourself you might feel right now you will get through this and maybe even come out of it a better person.

Christina - posted on 05/05/2011

in a nut shell: take care of your children, do the very best you can - trust that it will (it will take time, but it will) work out. keeping the focus on us helps the drama die down, keeping the focus on our family allows the solutions. If you are married, the court will have to order him to pay support. When you are ready speak with an attorney, but I would not wait long. Filing the paperwork for custody soon is usually important. Knowing how to navigate through the system is rough - but finding a lawyer you know has a good repuation (ask around, too) is vital. Sadly, it can happen that the attorney's reputation can help more than the information. Not always, but sometimes. Getting everything in order that you can will help you, too. If there is a church group that you can reach out to - don't be shy, even if you don't go to that church, good people like to help - for assistance, job, daycare ideas, anything you are going to need. Clothes, a support group for women - isolation is really tough. There are millions of us who have gone through this, so that's why we help each other to succeed. You can do it - one day at a time. For me, sometimes making a list to stay focused helps when there is so many calls to make and things to do. With your husband I hope you can keep your cool. Fighting won't change anything. It will only stress you out, and if you are going to court the less you talk with him might be better for the children. You aren't broken, there's nothing wrong with you - if he wanted to leave, that doesn't say anything about you or your family. Slow, small steps, the winds will blow, but you can get through each day - I know you can. Make some calls, stay calm find out how the system works in your area and choose a lawyer who has a great reputation of winning or at least a great record in these matters. Your husband may have to pay your fees, too. Ask.