Please Help!

Stephanie - posted on 01/27/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hi im a single mom of a wonderful little 2 yr old girl who i adore loads and cant imagine life without her and her dad dont want to no ive recently got a new partner we have bin together for around 5 months and my daughter adores him and yesterday i found out i was pregnant again and i dont no what to do my partner said he will stick by me 100 percent but i just dont want my daughter feeling left out do you think that will happen? any advice is welcome thanks

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Jessica - posted on 01/27/2011

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she will only feel left out if you let her feel left out. include her in all that you can. don't tell her this is going to be her half sibling... she does not need to know that.



as for the guy? is he willing to act like a dad too and treat her as his own child? that can be hard because the child inside you is his and your daughter is not... your daughter is too little to understand that so if he isn't willing to treat her like his own, it can get a little tough. she will wonder why this guy is loving the baby and not her. i would encourage him to treat her lovingly, and spend time with her meeting her needs and acting like a dad (even if she doesn't call him dad) so she doesn't feel left out. it might be hard for him to form a bond with your daughter but easy to form one with his own child... even then he still should treat her equally, so she does not feel left out.



as for having a new sibling? read books about babies, take a baby class at the hospital for her where they give tours of the nursery and talk about mom having a baby in her tummy, and talk about having a baby with her when your tummy starts to show. some books and videos i found helpful was aurthur's new baby, dw's new baby, bearstien bears and the new baby, little critter and the new baby, how to be a big sister (that one is very cute!! and talks about all the things a big sister can do, but babies can't), harry's baby sister from seseame street, grover takes care of a baby by seseame street, baby makes five by bearstien bears... anything that talks about babies really. maybe have her pick out a special toy to give to the baby at the hospital?? i did that for my kids and that helped a little. who ever is watching them have them take them shopping before they come to visit you to get the baby a special gift to give to the baby. another thing that helped is when relatives came to visit, they said hi to my children first and asked them how they were or acted really excited to see them before they saw the baby... that way they still feel like they got attention.



when you bring your baby home, try to find time to spend with your daughter... it can be five minutes here and there. try to keep her same schedule and routine (trust me, that is a life saver!!) and when you are feeding the baby, keep books near by to read to your daughter so she is entertained... and yes, tv will be your best friend for her at times!!

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Stephanie - posted on 02/01/2011

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thank you for all your advice it has really helped i feel more at ease about it all now so thanks :) x

Eugenie - posted on 01/30/2011

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Hello Stephanie, if that is your only worry, I say go ahead and have fun making plans for your baby! Try to involve your daughter in the planning as much as you can! Tell her what is happening and just explain stuff to her as your pregnancy progresses. She will be a happy camper when baby is here, especially as her new brother or sister gets older and can interact with her.

All the best!

KELLIKAYZ - posted on 01/29/2011

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OH HONEY, I WAS THERE MYSELF AND WHEN I TOLD MY SON I CRIED AS DID HE. THAT IS NORMAL EVEN IF BOTH KIDS WERE BY THIS NEW MAN IT WOULD HAPPEN. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND YOU ALREADY SOUND LIKE A WONDERFUL MOMMY WHO WILL ALWAYS MAKE HER DAUGHTER A PRIORITY. IT WILL BE OK, EVEN BETTER THAN OK. YOU ARE BLESSED WITH TWO....ENJOY!!

Millie - posted on 01/28/2011

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It's sometimes hard when you have a younger child as to how they will react to another sibling coming into the picture but if you want to have this child sit down with your daughter and tell her she's going to be a big sister and make it fun make it an experience that she will enjoy as well as you will. As for your daughters father if you are not with him I really do not think it's any of his business what you are doing with your life as long as your daughter is fine and is not being mistreated then there really is no say for him.

Candi - posted on 01/28/2011

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Your daughter might feel a little jealous or even left out at first. This is normal for any child at any age. Before the baby gets here, let her help you. Let her pick out clothes, books, toys and anything else you buy. Let her know her opinions matter too. Take her by the local hospital and walk her by the nursery to see all the new babies there. When the baby starts to kick let her feel the baby. Let her lay beside you and get her to talk or sing to the baby. Any of these things will help her develop a bond faster when the baby is born. After the baby is born, make sure to let her hold the baby (with you next to her of course), help with the diaper change, or hand you wipes during the diaper change. If you bottle feed, she can hold the bottle while the baby eats. But, always make sure there is time for her too without the baby. When the baby is down for a nap, then read to your daughter, play games, watch a favorite cartoon, dance around the house, act silly or do a craft. She will need a lot of your attention just like the baby will. Make time for her as often as possible, but make sure to let her be involved with the baby. She'll adjust faster than you think and kids her age love a new baby. They have a tendency to want to help a little too much. LoL! As long as she knows she is loved and that she is still important, she will be just fine.

Codie - posted on 01/27/2011

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it absolutely doesn't have to be like that. talk to her about the baby, let her feel the baby when it starts moving, let her help with tasks she can do, but most importantly...she still needs time with YOU! when the baby is sleeping, put your daughter on your lap and read to her, if you can manage...take her on outings once or twice a week just you and her, without new baby...she needs to know she can share:) good luck and you'll do great!

Emily - posted on 01/27/2011

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Let her pick out stuff. I have a 2 yr old, and she absolutely loves little babies, and she loves to help feed them and she wants to hold them.

Just let her pick out outfits when you start shopping for it, ask what she wants (boy or girl), ask what she thinks of names, and when the baby gets here let her help. Let her get diapers, let her help make bottles.

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