please Will someone just listen....

Krystal - posted on 03/30/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Ok I have already posted some of this, but I feel my story needs to be heard, really be heard. Ok I had a child with an abusive/drug user man. Who is now going on 6. I no longer want to be wth this man but it is a big mess and I just want to get my story out there and maybe get some advice, words of wisdom. I will try not to make it to much to read, but here goes... when I first had my daughter he was in jail, then later he got out and i thoguht he changed. So I got bk with him, but of course he didnt change and I was being pucnhed in my head getting my eye blacked, and Yeah I didnt always do something about it, I was gualible, and comeing from not so much of a wealthy backgorund I felt trapped, but then an incident in 2007 occured of him laying me out on the floor and kicking me in my mouth,and he went to jail and I took our child and went from Florida to Tennessee to live with my dad. Well he got out of jail and made me come back, filed custody papers. Well it was awarded him every other weekend. Then as time passed he was running round dong drugs still and later went to jail for domestic on his mother in 2008,and she instead requested him to go to rehab, so in 2009 he got out, and again me foolishly thinking rehab changed him, I allowed him to start seeing oud child, and the stupidest thing I could ever have done I let him talk me into signing for him to have her 50 50, one week with him one with me, well suprise suprise, not long after he started doing drugs again(meth) so I haveing no where else to go because we all know being a single mom is not cheap, so I had no finances, and i took off to new york to be with my mother. Well he then came to new york with his mom and snatched her from school,and I had to go bk to florida to fight it. Well because I left without permission(and not haveing a lawyer to get the judge to listen) they still granted him 50 50, because I did have my uncle to stay with, and that was our childs place of birth( personally the courts dont always judge right) well they dont know what they cant see and u only have so much time to get your story heard, and not being use to courts I wasnt always prepared to know how this works. So anyway later on my uncle got evicted and moved somewhere else,and i couldnt go, so me thinking that if I had no home he would get full custody of her I went back to him just so I could be with my daughter. Well threwout 2009-2010 I stayed liveing with him being trapped,not so much phyisical abuse anymore cuz I had gotten stronger in that sence, I fought bk, which I know wasnt solveing anything,and exspeciaaly ot good for our child. So I still face mental abuse everyday, just putting me down and useing our child against me, telling her i didnt want to be a famly and not letting me work and if he did he came to my job everyday starting stuff untill it led to me loosing my job. And then an inncident occured where I had a friend stay the night, and why she was there he fought with me, well I went to bed and woke up the next morning to him being in the bed with my friend, I know what a friend. Well you can only imagine how that went, well I filed a restraining order on him, but it was like 3 days after the inncident so it didnt stick, cuz again courts dont always hear ya all the way out, but during the temporary one he violated it and it made him get a VOP well he seems to always get off easy and he got out like 2 weeks later, and knowing we had 50 50, I didnt want to get contempt,cuz his mom always hires him a lwayer. so when he showed up where i was I let our daughter go with him for his week, well he didnt return her, and there was nothing I could do bout it but take him bk to court, and I had no money, and time went by, it turned into almost a month of me not seeing her, so at that point I was willing to do whatever I had to just so I could see my daughter. So i called him up and pretended like i wanted him bk cuz I knew he'd say come over. So I started getting to see my little girl again and he was liveing at his moms at this point. Well she got mad and kciked him out and he nor me had no where to go, so I talked him into moveing to new york with my mother, and so now here we are its march ad we had been here sence the end of January, well he couldnt controll me as much as he wanted being here around my mother,she wouldnt let it. And but yet he still would,aftr everyone went to bed thats when he would start, and i was getting up telling my mom about it everyday till she got fed up and told him how she felt which was sunday night and the next morning we woke up to him being gone with our child, I called him and hes back in florida. This is got to stop, its not fair to our child, and this will be the forth school in one year that shes being enrolled in. I will be getting a flight to florida sunday, once again to go to court, hes not takeing me this time, he claims he dont want to involve the courts, says if i get down there he will let me see her, but he knows i have no where to go there, so its just another way of him controlling me. So please I just need some advice thank you...

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6 Comments

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Kathan - posted on 05/27/2013

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First, I'm a believer in prayer. Pray about your situation and ask God to help and guide you. Have you tried seeking shelter for battered women. I live in GA and the part where I'm from they have homes just for women who have been in abusive relationships and need help. You don't need me telling you that this is not a good environment for you child b/c you are already aware of that. I pray that you can get a good lawyer who is willing to really help you with this and to get your child in a safe and stable environment.

Leah - posted on 04/05/2011

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U need to get a good a lawyer and try and to stop him from taking her again such as getting supervised access.. Dont take him back what ever u do other wise ur daughter could end up with mental issues as she gets older. If he was any sort of a father he would realise how much this hurts ur daughter and that she needs u

Alisha - posted on 04/05/2011

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i heard everything you was sayn and u need to find a good lawyer!!!! this will bother ur daughter in the long run of life mentally. plus u need to find happiness in life. life to 2 short to b dealn w this.

Kelly - posted on 04/04/2011

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have you tried contacting crime victim services, they have a list of lawyers who will take payments, and help victims such as yourself....you can also file your own contempt of court charge w/out a lawyer, however, i know you need one, if he doesn't return her as expected/on time its parental kidnapping/interfering with custody or whatever your state calls it, call the cops - report her missing! also call child services about it as well, document everything, and i do mean everything, if you have a 50/50 arrangement - and he doesn't return her, report it to the police!!! ask them to document it, tell them why you haven't called before now, call crime victims and tell them your story, they're are plenty of resources available to victims of abuse...i know from experience!!!!

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I agree with Nikki - I can't even figure out where your paperwork is! If there is paperwork in Florida, then the case will be heard there. Best Interest of the Child - fight so you don't lose her, too. Be clean, be ready with a home. Have back up and maybe find a church group to help you through this - I don't mean spritually, I mean with work, clothes, apartment whatever you need. Try CoAbode.org for housing, too. It is single mothers living together - it might help. CASA is an agency that can help you advocate, too. WWW.casa.org - but make sure you are a "fit mom" in their eyes - so you have full custody, maybe supervised visits since he fled.Good luck - praying for you.

Nikki - posted on 03/31/2011

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Holy cow!!! I am so sorry for everything you have been thru! You sound pretty strong willed now. But you have got to get a lawyer! Somehow someway dig up the money!! In any court instance if you wanna fight back to a dickhead you have to have a lawyer!!! I hired a lawyer for my case and that judge probably would not have thought twice about it! I recommend getting local law enforcement involved! And you have to prove by picture or video that he is doing drugs!! The lawyer you get could be one thru your local legal aid office!! Any person who needs help can get it!!!! And everything needs to be wrote down and documented!!! Bc then you can hand the lawyer this big stack of papers!!!! Social services will help you my dear! I promise!!! If you need help or have facebook look me up on there. Nikki Clark in Maryland. Message me anytime you need someone to talk to!

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