potty ideas?

Sarah - posted on 08/24/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My son is 3 almost 4 and he refuses to use the restroom. We tried the big toilet and he screams so we bought a small one and he will sit on it but won't go. I've tried the sticker chart and got him a bunch of small toys , we still haven't gotten a single sticker. One of my friends told me she threaten her son with a cold shower which seems way to harsh to me. I'm just out of ideas we bought a book for him about a boy going potty but it was just kind of gross and I'm not sure if it might not be one of the reasons. Any advice is greatly apperciated!

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Marian - posted on 09/10/2012

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Ok, first question, is your son showing any signs of being ready? Is he staying dry for long periods of time? Is he hiding when he needs to go?

Now, it's hard to dish out the advice without knowing the answers to those questions, but I'll do my best. Your son may or may not be entirely ready. Each child has their own time for being ready. That being said, you have tried some great ideas. I am huge into bribery for potty training, and it works if they are truly ready.

Something I would try is just putting him in under ware and ask him to get himself to the potty on time. Many times kids don't want to give up the sense of control that comes along with potty training. They want to handle it on their terms. So, I often just tell whomever, that they are a big person, and big people use the potty. I ask them to use the potty and wash their hands, then can can let me know and I will give them a treat. It takes some patience, and cleaning up a few accidents, but giving them an opportunity to feel empowered is very helpful. They just don't want to be told what to do. Offer up tons of praise and make a huge deal about them going to the bathroom by themselves like a big person.

My kid's preschool was also very encouraging and helpful. When I informed them my son was beginning to show interest, they paired my son with another little boy who was training at the same time. The two boys were bathroom buddies. When one of them needed to go, they would find the other and go together. If was very helpful!

Now, pee pee, is easy, poop is much more difficult. Be prepared for there to be a lot of accidents...lots of accidents! But with time they will slowly start to be successful there too.

I bribe with candy. None of the kids that I have trained have been allowed candy on a regular basis, so it was a big deal for them to get candy. My suggestion is use something that is a huge deal. Something small that he can have after each successful trip to the potty.

Another trick I have it that every adult in the house needs to take the trainee to the bathroom with them. And, the adults are to encourage the trainee to try while they are trying. It's a great way to model the behavior you want for your trainee. It's not always convenient, but it is a great opportunity talk about what is happening and explain how they need to try and do the same.

Wishing you so much success. Let us know how it goes.

Florencia - posted on 09/06/2012

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Have u tried letting him pick out underwear that he wants? And pick out a toy he really wants and tell him you'll buy it for him as soon as he's fully potty trained. With my daughter, we had to leave her naked from the waste down had toilets everywhere for her and promised her rollerblades as soon as she proved she was trained. She had a few accidents "some on purpose, because she didnt get what she wanted" , but she realized she likes being naked so now that she's potty trained we're working on getting her to keep her pants on. It's been about a month now. I used pee pads at night because i didnt want to have a set back by letting her wear any diapers. I started training her over a yr ago she was definately more than ready and knew what to do because she was even pooping on the potty but i guess that mentally she wasnt ready to take that step yet, so she even when she wore undies she would poop and pee in it. But i just put my foot down and told her i refuse to buy her any more diapers. This also meant any time i had to leave the house that i needed someone to stay in house with her till she proved to me she was trained, and she loves her car rides and being on the go, so she did what she needed to do. My daughter is very stubborn, wants what she wants when she wants it and on her terms. Good luck to you.

Raven - posted on 09/02/2012

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We have a 2 year old and use a potty chart reward system. She has a weekly chart (dry erase to reduce printing) posted in her bathroom.

She uses a kid's potty as well as the big one (with a potty training seat attachment) and that way she can choose the one she feels like using.

She gets an X on the chart for peeing and 2 for pooping. If she gets 5 in one day she earns "$1" (mommy money not real) in our reward systems (chores, potty, etc)

She also gets a sticker for peeing and a small reese cup for pooping

This is working the majority of time for her but still a work in progress.

One thing we do sometimes is sit her potty in her room while she is playing so she has easier access and is reminded to go. (she tends to "forget" to go potty while playing)

One thing to try is a potty timer. Set your phone, an egg timer, whatever for 15 minutes/30 minutes and make him sit on the potty for a few minutes every time. Even if he has gone in the interval.

Good luck and remember all kids are different and some of ready earlier and some later. Don't push or it may backfire and cause regression or delay in potty training.

Angelakross - posted on 08/28/2012

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I trained my son when he was about 3 and 3 months. And this is what worked for us: NO PULL UPS!!! Get all your carpets out of the house, keep multiple sets of clean clothes and prepare mentally for lots of cleaning the first days....it lasted two days, I almost gave up, because he would pee and just continue playing in his pee. I would put him on his potty and on the toilet (regularly), he would never do anything. I thought, oh my, he is never going to GET it!!! And suddenly, on day 3, he went to the toilet and did his pee!!! And after that, we never went back. It could work for you....

Danielle - posted on 08/28/2012

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Throw a few cherrios in the potty and tell him it's a target game tel him to sink the cheerios with his pee. This is how I remember my mom potty training my brother he took to it the first day.

Lucy - posted on 08/25/2012

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I Also think that the cold shower is also absolutely unnecessary whether it works or not its child abuse.

I got a lot of tips to go on from the comments so thank you for writing this, i think i might wait till summer now too.



My advice is to forget about it totally for a good while because i think it sound like he is feeling like he has to learn how to do it and probably picking up your worry about why isn't it happening, so he may feel to much pressure without you meaning to of course, but once you start to see him forget a bit about all the hype maybe just get him out side with dad and start slowly by peeing on ant hills for fun or a potty out side that is just fun and then say here you got here is some of your fav food maybe just casually not making a big deal and then gradually, get rid of the nappies and if he does a pee or poo let it be for a few mins without any fuss and casually say Oh that must be uncomfortable next time let me know so u can go to the toilet, with the intention of not using nappies again and him realizing what it feels like with no nappies anymore then after all that HE is making the decision to go to the loo not being told he has to and gets a bonus once he has done it ..... ? could work :)

Gina - posted on 08/25/2012

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Honestly, it takes a full week to get the job done sometimes. Summer time was a greast time to train the boys in my family because I let them pee on stuff in the back yard! It became fun to them because they felt like they had the control, not me. I started with pee, because that is less daunting. I rewarded with m&ms for doing potty inside and just cheered when it was outside (don't want to get too habitual with that.)

GET RID OF THE PULL UPS and any other "just in case" means of anti-soiling protection and buckle down for some seriously dirty clothes. If you just throw the diapers away and not look back, you have the confidence that baby time is over and you believe your child can do it, and then he will be believe too.

BTW, one of my sons hated the size of the big potty, too. We got him a little travel one that folded out like a tri-pod. It was pretty cool for in home use, grandmas house and even when we were out shopping. He used it for almost 6 months, but no accidents!

Aracely - posted on 08/24/2012

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I trained my daughter when she was two. I started by taking her to the potty as soon as she woke up in the morning, they always have to pee at that time, i used to sit across from her and either make water sounds or turn the faucet on slightly. Im sure if you try this it wont fail! Reward him with bubbles and make a huge deal about his accomplishment, cheer and sing. He will feel very proud and be encouraged to do it again. When he has an accident try not to get mad at him, just make sure to calmly let him know that accidents happen and he will get it next time. Best of luck!

Sarah - posted on 08/24/2012

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Thank you, I will try that. I have an older daughter who is 6 and we never had this much trouble.

Melinda - posted on 08/24/2012

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My youngest son was three whenever I was finally able to get him trained. I bought a step stool so he could stand like a big boy to pee. I also told him that if he peed oh himself that it wasnt like wearing a diaper.......HE WOULD GET PEE PEE ON HIM if he didn't let us know he needed to go. By the third day he was having no accidents. Also after all three of my boys were potty trained we never had to use nighttime diapers and they never had any accidents at night. My philosophy was to let his them use the potty like we do as adults and it worked. Now I am getting ready to potty train a 2 and a half year old girl. That is going to be challenging for me about three boys. BTW My boys are now 14, 8, and 6.

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