Really need help.

Morgan - posted on 10/15/2010 ( 31 moms have responded )

4

37

0

So I am a single mom. My baby daddy started cheating on me 2 weeks after getting my positive test then one week later on Thanksgiving told me not to come home and she had moved into our house with my stuff still in there. We talked off and on during my pregnancy and hooked up a couple times because he tols me he was not with her but then I found out he was with her. After I confronted him about it he started calling me fat B**** and several other names. This hit me realy hard because I had not dated much and I was in love so deeply with him. The names he called me hit nerves deep inside because I have always had weight issues. Fast forward all the stress and heartache and I delivered at 39 weeks 10lbs below my pre pregnancy weight.

My LO is 3 months old and ever since I have been pregnant I have cried myself to sleep everynight but now that it is getting close to the one year mark of our breakup. The emotional pain has manifested into a constant physical pain that feels like my chest is going to explode. I know I should never speak to him after the way he treated me, but I feel so alone. His new GF does everything in her power to make sure my life is H***. Tells him lies about me, pays ppl to stalk me, all kinds of stuff. I LOVE my son more than anything in this world he saved my life if it wasnt for him this pain would have done killed me.

I know tons of ppl are alone ect but I feel like I will always be alone because Im not pretty enough. It makes me so sad to think that after the way he act all the drugs he did all the ppl he hurt after he cheated on me that he gets to go on and live his life with her like I never existed. While I lost my job had to move back in with my parents (who i DO NOT get along with and we fght 24/7) move 5 hours away from all my friends and family because my dad got a new job. I lost everything when I got pregnant. He isworth it dont get me wrong I am not coplaining about him in anyway! I just wish I knew why god hated me so much to give me this life where I am always miserable while he gets to be happy?

I still love him but my mom is always talking bad about him and putting him down,. I know he isnt a great person but he is my sons dad too and I dont want him growing up hearing all this negativity. She doesnt understand how I feel. for the past year almost I arley leave my house because I have no gas to get anywhere. I go to doctors appts and that is about it. I know no one here and have no way of meeting ppl.

I honestly dont know what I am expecting from this, I guess just to get stuff off my chest because around my house Im not allowed to have feelings. I hate that he has to see me like this I wish I could be the happy carefree person I was before I met his dad but no matter what I do or how hard I try nothing goes right for me and I just cant make myself happy. How am I supposed to meet guys and start trying to date to get over him if I cant get out of my house? How can I get over his dad and move on when my self esteem is so low I dont even like walking outside when my neighbors are out because i dont want to be seen? I have just never hurt so bad for so long and the longer I go being alone all the time the more it hurts and the more I feel he was right. :(

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

BONNIE - posted on 11/07/2010

63

10

1

Do you also understand that te atonement of Christ was not ONLY about sin and redemption? Not only did he take that on himself for us, but in th garden he suffered and bld for all the hurt, pain, sickness that all that had been born and died and for all of us still unborn when he was on the earth. So when we are hurt and wounded and feel alone, He has felt that for us so we truly DO have someone who knows what we are going Knowing that gives us great strength and courage to face out lives even in the most painful of circumstances. Lean on the gift he gave us, it brings great comfort. Good luck sweetie.

Faye - posted on 10/19/2010

483

43

135

Most county's and state's have a health department. They will work with you on a sliding pay scale based on your income. Please check it out.

Pamper yourself even if it is painting your nails if you don't normally. Take a bubble bath when the baby is down for nap. Read that book you have been trying to finish for months. Light that special scented candle that you have held onto.

File for child support, he helped make that wonderful little guy with you, he needs to help pay for his upkeep. File for assistance, if anyone needs it, it is you and your little guy.

Check into WIC. It is the government food program that will send you vouchers for bread, milk, baby food and cearal for him each month, (one less expense you will have).

Ask the church for assistance, even if it is just to find a babysitter for a movie night. Maybe set up a babysitting co-op with other singles in the church family who need to same relief. Along that same line, most churchs have a day a week that is for the group MOPS (Mothers Of PreSchoolers). It is designed so mom can run errands one day a week without little ones for a few hours. Maybe they need a volunteer to help with the kids.

Crystal - posted on 10/17/2010

2

9

0

Look hunny...ive gone threw the same Sh**. It is hard depressing n over powering. Im a mother of 2 wonderful baby boys...and i have a baby on the way. My two children are to one father and the new baby is to another dad. On how bad that makes me sound. But first off all you shouldnt worry about what people say about you. They do it to Pi** you off n get to you. If you show them it bothers you then there just going to keep doing it. Second of all you will get over the pain. I was with my 2 baby boys dad for 4 years b4 we broke up. Im not going to lie or butter things up...but it will still hurt and you will always love him. He is the father of ur child. No no matter what this GF of his says or does. I think she retarted for being with him. HELLO he cheated on you and left you and wants nothing to do with his kid. Doesnt that tell his soo called GF anything. HES GONA DO IT TO HER TO. ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER. Trust me she may have her cake and eat to right now but it wont last long. Third of all...GO THE HELL OUT N MAKE FRIENDS AND GET OUT ONCE IN AWHILE. It will help. Fourth of all....idk if its her money or his you need money to take care of ur kid. JUST TAKE IT, DONT B STUPID. if you dont wana do that take his ass to court! Maybe if he goes to jail he will think next time b4 he trys to bring another child into this world and try getting away with everything. And ur a pretty grl...trust me i always thought i wouldnt find anyone because i wasnt pretty and had 2 kids...well i did...not to say it was the greatest guy...but i got blesed with another baby. And could careless about him. You will find someone you just have to get up and get out. If you keep stressing urself out about all this BULLSH**....then ur going to make ur baby a very stressful baby. And another thing is....if your not ready to see or date anymore. Just like im not I see it this way I have the BEST TO MEN IN MY LIFE THAT ILL EVER NEED. so if ur not ready think about urself n ur son n FU** the rest. do what you got to do for the both of you. I hope this helps...and GOOD LUCK!!!

[deleted account]

I am so sorry you have to go through this!
The first thing you need to do is go to your doctor and discuss your physical pain symptims with them. I think you are suffering from depression, which is a SERIOUS illness! It can be treated with some counseling and therapy, you may even be a good candidate for drug therapy.
My story is similar to yours, and I really can honestly say, therapy changed my life, changed my self image and made me feel like a beautiful, confident woman.
Your doctor will probably mention all of this but some simple lifestyle things you can do to help improve your mood:
1. EAT SUPER HEALTHY , lots of fruits, veggies and fish!
2. Get daily exercise, take yoru little one for a long walk around the block. Exercise naturally releases endorphins, the feel good hormone, into your body!
3. get plenty of sleep, okay I knew this is a tough one with a newborn, by definition you are sleep deprived. But do the best you can!

Once you are feeling better about yourself, i promise the rest will take care of itself!

PLEASE PLEASE for the sake of your baby, go see your doctor! you have CLASSIC depression symptoms!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

31 Comments

View replies by

Rachel - posted on 11/07/2010

29

9

1

first off u r very pretty and i bet u r a wonderful mom. dont let any man but u down. ur son comes first just like everyone tells me. i have weight issues also and i have low self esteem and also i live with my parents and there is always aguements. u just gotta ignore the shit they say and please them the best way u can cuz i do . if u need any more help or advice u can message me ok im here 4 u even though i dont know u. hope everything works out

Alisha - posted on 11/06/2010

735

10

39

I also am a single mother, my daughter will be 5 in a few weeks and I am 24. I am on okay terms with her father but he is selfish and doesn't put her first in his life. I was with him on and off for 4 years (2 years were before we had her) and it was one of the hardest things for me to get over him because he was my first boyfriend, it took a lot of time and I had to realize that it was ok to greive over him but also greive over the loss of my idea of a family with my husband and then having children in a stable supportive home. I was 19 when I had her and I never married him and I am still single, but I am at peace with all of that now because of Christ. I would also love to let you know about my new best friend: God. God doesn't hate you, just completely the opposite exactly, God loves you so much he died for you. Jesus Christ is the only person that has brought me true happiness and peacefullness in my life (besides my daughter) and that is because all the things I was doing to try to be happy (like pre-marital sex, partying, and whatever) was sin and not pleasing to God. God only wants the best for all of us because he made us, but we have to realize that we have free-will choice to do what we want to do and now I am choosing to do what Christ wants me to do because it's the only real guidance I've ever had in my life that is positive. I know it may sound crazy but Christ is God and He really does love you so much and he wants to help you. The only thing in this world that leads to true hope and joy is first admitting that we (you and me) sin, which goes against God, and believing that Christ took the punishment for us when He died on the cross because he was completely innocent of all sin because He is God. So imagine if you stold something and a complete stranger came up to you and the cops and told them he would take your punishment for your crime no matter what it cost. That's exactly what Christ did for any person who ever lived in the world because He made us and he loves us. I also know all of this is true because I have seen the Lord take me out of a completely dark place and carry me into the light of living for Him and the amazing things He has done to change me and my life for the better. I looked for happiness in men, and anything else that this world has to offer and I was always lonely and felt I had no one there for me, but Christ will never leave you if you place your trust in Him, and he always wants the best for you. It's the greatest gift any of us can ever accept in our lives. I will be praying for you darling because your situation is so sad and this world can be a horrible place and there are people who care about you and your well being. You just have to ask the Lord and tell him that you love him and that is it! It's the greatest love this world has and will ever know; what Christ did for you, me and everyone. People can't make themselves happy because that is only temporary, the only way to true and pure joy is having Christ in your life. Also, perhaps you could find a good Bible-believing church so you can meet other people to help you on your journey with the Lord if that's what you choose. I never saw myself as 'religious' before I came to know Christ and I didn't know anything about God but he has called me to him (He will never force anyone, it's always their choice to believe) but I wouldnt' change it for the world! I hope things get better for you, I really do! I will be thinking about you Morgan and also want to let you know that you are beautiful because that's how God made you so don't let your child's dad or anyone else tell you a different version of your story!!

Stefanie - posted on 10/30/2010

8

0

0

first and most important is he should never of cheated on you. It doesnt matter how much you argue or whos fault it is, he should end things before he makes a childish decision to cheat. It is noones fault but his own bad decisions. I know having a child with someone is a situation you probaly never had to deal with before & it is very hard but you must be nice to him for your child. Think of how it would affect your life as a child if your parents were not only apart but they hated one another. I understand you are hurt and his name calling hurts etc but try to think positive for example when he calls you heavy think for a moment. all the feelings you then feel hurt, sad, ugly and so on, and know that if you let your feelings talk then not only will you feel hurt by his name calling it will be worse due to the new damage that was done. It is hard to hear those hurtful words from others and my daughters father called me fat and i would cry and feel like a nobody but then I finally came to reality by taking his negative thoughts of me & instead of hurting everyday which will get us nowhere I thought well maybe I am little overweight & if it bothers me when he says I'm fat then I'm not happy with myself and I need to do something about it. So that can keep your mind busy while your working on yourself. Don't worry about him and work on loving yourself and life with your child. and he will see that nothing stops you from living life everyday and men seem to like that power in a woman. When you have respect for yourself so will the world around you. hope this helps

Caitlyn - posted on 10/30/2010

61

12

4

Chin up, shoulders back, and fake it until you make it! Know that you are beautiful, and you are not the stupid one in this relationship. He left you because he cheated on you. You are better off without someone who doesn't respect you. I also at one point felt like I would never find anyone to date after leaving my daughter's father. I was wrong, we left her father 18 months ago, and through that time I've met and dated two men. I met them in the most random places, one was a man I used to date in highschool who I ran into in the grocery store, and the man I'm dating now, I met in class. I would advise just getting out take walks with your little one, and go to the store to buy baby things whenever you can. You can do this on your own, have faith you will make it through.

Karol - posted on 10/28/2010

5

12

0

First off God does not hate you! Remember that first and foremost. SecondYou are a beautiful intelligent woman and mother, you are stronger than you think, next see a doctor about your symptoms and amke sure that the doctor, a thearapist who listens and hears you.
As a Single mother I understand what your going through, honey you need a Jesus talk. That means you need to talk to yourself on what is needed you your son and you. These are the two most important people in you life!! I know what it is like to not get along with family but yourson needs you more that ever. If the Father wants nothing to do with you you must come to terms with it but he has a baby by you and that is most important. Honey if he doesn't want you its his loss and time will heal your hurt and pain - but you have to cut him loose. For the sake of your child - NEEDS HIS MOM. If his gf giving you problems then your child does not need to be around her, and let him know this and stick to your guns. He is not worth your enegry your baby needs that Read "I Rise" by Maya Angelou Be strong for yourself, for you child and Rise Up As for meeting people you already have, now go outside and let the sun shine on you its a beautiful day. God Love you and your baby. Be Proud Mama

Stacey - posted on 10/27/2010

51

13

1

Hi Morgan,
Im sorry your going through a really tough time right now but this to shall pass, god doesn't hate you, and he doesn't give us anything that we cant handle. I know its hard to hear right now but it will be OK. put all your energy towards your son and dont worry about his dad or girlfriend, believe me , karmas a b****. you do need to bring him to court for child support, that will help with your supporting the baby and yourself. there are a lot of things you can do to get back on your feet and will help get you out of the house. if you need any info for going back to school or how to go about getting started with child support feel free to pm me. hang in there girl it will get better! =)

BONNIE - posted on 10/27/2010

63

10

1

First of all honey, you need to go to counselling. You have issues that are putting you in a bad situation. Secondly, children learnwhat they see and hear, do you really want your baby to grow up with that kind of behavior as a model? Probably not. Get counselling. I can't say it strongly enough. You deserve to be a healthy happy mommy. Do it for your little boy but most of all do it for yourself. Love doesn't include abuse of any kind. Not with hands, not with words, not with anything. That is not love, that is control. Good luck sweetie

[deleted account]

Hi Morgan! I hope you are encouraged by all the replies in this circle. I am very saddened by your story when I read it this morning. I just want you to know that you are not alone, and that God did not do this to you. Often times, it is our bad choices that lead us to situations like this. I went to a similar situation about eight years ago. I don't know why I even dated someone like my ex at the time because I knew he wasn't good for me, but I guess I allowed my emotions to control me and stayed with an immature, irresponsible man, and to make matters worst, I got pregnant with him. However, the baby become my number one priority and right up to my fourth month of pregnancy, I decided to break up with my ex because he was causing me too much stress than anything. I just thought that I was better off by myself than have to deal with another kid because that's how he was acting. Yes, it was tough, but I thank God that I had my sisters to help me during my pregnancy. So, realize that you are not the only one who is going through or gone through your situation right now. I've survived it and I know that you will too. Know that God loves you and cares about you deeply. Remember that whenever you are hurting, he is right there hurting with you too, and giving you the strength to get you through each day. Take the time to reflect on the things that had happened and look for the lessons to help you make better decisions next time. Do not be in a hurry to get into another relationship because if your emotions are still going crazy, it will only makes matters worst for you. Know your self-worth for what God thinks of you, not how men has treated you. Try telling yourself that you are beautiful and valuable in the mirror over and over again everyday, until you start to believe it and feel it in your heart. I believe what you are going through now is only going to make you a stronger person, so embrace it, don't despise it. Things has its way of working itself out for the best, only be patient.

Tara - posted on 10/27/2010

8

57

1

Morgan ... he was NOT right! It is hard being a single mom and jobless. But you have the only good thing that could ever come from your ex: a beautiful baby! You look young and you still have so much ahead of you! Depression can kick in for whatever reason. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 18 after having it for 3 years and pills didn't really do anything but make it worse. I had to do what I needed to do to get it better. I would suggest that if you don't go to church, start attending one. Look around, don't just settle. Churches offer GREAT support groups and some have activities for young, single adults to meet others! Granted, you will find fake Christians/people in every church, but don't let that discourage you! Also, call the county and see if they know of any community events that are going on or if they can help you with finding a job and daycare. As for getting financial help from the county, I don't know about where you live but in Minnesota they have something that allows a parent to get services without going after the other parent for child support (I think it's called a Good Faith exemption). They have to do what's best for the child and if it's best to not take child support, then they can't and shouldn't be able to force it! I have MN Care and I receive no child support. I requested that as part of my divorce. I hope this helps! And if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me.

Suzanne - posted on 10/27/2010

41

29

1

sounds like u have post natal depression. u need to see a gp and also join a support network or mothers group, costs very little and there is always 1 usually in every area, u need support. A fellow single mum with a drop kick baby father(not that i say it in font of daughter, but i will be honest with her about him. good luck

Sacha - posted on 10/27/2010

2

38

0

Hi Morgan, oh sweetie it is a rough road. However take time out for yourself do some soul searching. It will be the one of the hardest roads you will ever journey along. You will learn to love yourself like never before & you will learn one of the most important factors in life. God created you to be a woman, you were born with unbelievable strength, emotional & mentality. You don't need him when the time is right you soul mate will come along until then sweetie be strong for your-self & your gorgeous baby boy he will love you no matter what.Good luck with what ever journey you may take..

Debbie - posted on 10/26/2010

3

28

0

As a single mom of an almost 8yr old boy, I know how hard it is being in this type of situation. My son's dad left when my son was only 3months old while he was in the er with phnemonia yet and he ended up getting married only 1 yr after he and I split to a girl who has 2 daughters of her own and now they have a baby boy together and he hardly ever sees my son(maybe 1 time a yr nemore) so trust me I know it's hard. I live home with my parents because I just can't afford being out there alone rite now but let me tell you how hard it is. I am actually a recovering addict(2yrs clean in Nov!!) and I am doing great and my son is a straight A student,very outgoing and active, and just an amazing child but the issue is that my mom is in active addiction and I live in her house,which makes things much harder on me. I have no help what so ever from anyone, I am with my son constantly and I rarely ever get out for some "me time" I haven't even dated in over a yr and that is so unlike me because I have always had a guy, I kinda felt like I needed someone at all times but I am glad that I have had the last yr 2 work on me without the stress of a man added into my world. I do have depression also and since I am a recovering addict who was addicted 2 pills I refuse 2 go 2 a dr for meds so I deal with it. Anyhow, Point is life is hard at times 4 everyone but that doesn't mean it can't get better. I never thought I'd ever beable 2 go 1day w/out pills,it was running my life and killing me slowly but here I am 2yrs clean and a much better mom to my son and a better person all around. You don't need to rely on a guy to feel accomplished or worthy. Try 2 be happy that you don't have 2 deal w/the stress of him anymore and just put it outta ur mind and focus on your baby and yourself. You will get better,I promise! Best of luck!!

Linda - posted on 10/25/2010

17

26

0

Honey, you are a beautiful girl and far from fat, take from a true fat girl. You and your son deserve better than him and you will find it if you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on with you life. Leave him behind.

I think you need a bew mirror because the one you are looking into is colored by self doubt and low self esteem. Realize that you are the only thing holding yourself back. You can do anything if you believe in yourself and not let others take you away from yourself.

Hannah is right, if you are suffering from depression, it can cause physical pain and it can keep you from being yourself.

Be strong and have faith in yourself and remember that you have the unconditional love of that precious gift that God gave you.

Nickol - posted on 10/25/2010

7

23

0

There is not a woman in this world that needs to be treated the way you were. As much as you say you the your sons Dad, you are going to have to get over it. He isn't going to change, nor can you change him.
Your chest pains are stress and anxiety. I would go see a dr. if I were you. I used to feel the same way. I honestly thought it was a heart attack.
There is someone out there in the world for you. You moved 5 hrs. away from all the stress and trouble. This is a chance for you to start over. Good Luck. Keep a smile on your face and turn that frown upside down. Life is very precious. Stop being down on yourself. The more you stay negative about yourself, the longer you are going to be alone.

Genevieve - posted on 10/25/2010

21

10

1

Morgan, first off you are stunning and if you don't see that now you will. You need to take care of yourself because what youre feeling your baby feels too. It sounds like your home situation isn't good. You need to get out. If you want tot go back to work, then look for a new job. And I agree with others comments take the money. I get why you wouldn't want it, but you are only hurting yourself and your child. Your ex has treated you like shit and you don't want your son to grow up thinking that its okay to treat women that way. So stand up for yourself. Of course you will always love him, he is the father of your child. But you need to learn when it's time to let go. I think it might be easier on you if you had some joy besides your son. You are not happy at home, have no friends nearby and you focus all your energy on your son who is part your exs. Find something for yourself. Find a support group. As a single mom you can get college grants. Take a class of too of whatever you love to do. Take your son and go volunteer somewhere. You need to focus on you though. Be positive, instead of thinking negatively try thinking positively. God works in mysterious ways. Ans when you get past this you will be that much stronger and that much wiser. There is no reason in the world for your ex to treat you that way. Remember that. Your mom needs to respect your opinions and the way you choose to raise your child. It may be important to sit down with her and tell her how you really feel. I will be thinking and praying for you. It's not easy raising a little one by yourself especially when your not on the top of your game. I completely understand that myself. My daughter is only six months and I moved in with my dad. Hold your head up high and take pride in yourself, you will get there.

Linda - posted on 10/21/2010

3

0

0

Morgan, you are a beautiful person and your worthiness is not determined by another person. You need to sit back and look at this situation and see that God has pulled you from a life of drama and stress with this man. If he has cheated on you while you were living with him and after you got pregnant, then unless he gets his live right with God, he will more than likely do it again. He has already shown he can't be faithful, he was seeing you while this girl lives with him??? cmon Morgan, God moves us out of situations for the best for our lives. You might think being moved away from all your friends and him might be a bad thing, it's probably the best thing that could ever happened. You have a mom and dad that love you and this move with your parents is a positive thing. This is a way for you to get away from that bad situation and start over again fresh. Try reading Fight Like a Girl...you having low self esteem is something that I battled with but now I know I have unconditional love from my heavenly father and nothing else phases me. I was with my ex for 17 years and he cheated numerous times and finally after leaving that, I realized what a good person I am and that I am beautiful inside and out. I am drama and stress free in my life and wouldn't have it any other way. there are alot of men out there that are good and that would treat you the way you would want to be treated, both you and your baby. Focus your energy on positive things that have come out of this, you could still be with him and going thru all kinds of drama or worse abuse, etc
Just thank God that he made a way for you to get out of that relatioinship. You are young by your picture and beautiful, just you need to see yourself as being that way. I will be praying for you...

Kathryn - posted on 10/21/2010

12

7

1

I have gone through something similar when I was pregnant the father of my child hit me and he went to jail. When he went to jail I lost everything and ended up homeless eventually I found my way and ended up living with nuns for awhile. I wasn't talking to my family when all that happened and when I moved in with the nuns I got back in contact with them. And after I had the baby I moved in with them again and it is very far away from everything I once knew. I do not have a car so I understand not being able to go anywhere. I am just trying to rebuild my life I got invovled with the local church and they have a single moms bible study and that is a great support to me. Maybe that would help you. And as far as the father of my child once he got out of jail he was invovled in my pregnancy and after she was born I moved and he doesn't have a car or a phone so we barley talk and he hasn't seen the baby since she was born. At first I still loved him allot but now I realize that it is better for me to be away from him. And I know that being alone is scary but you have to love yourself before anybody else can love you. Hope that helps you. I wish you the best.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/21/2010

57

1

6

I had just got out of a somewhat abusive relationship right before I found out I was pregnant. During our relationship I lost contact with all of my friends, I got into drugs, I ended up losing my car and by the end of it had nothing but the worse pain I ever felt. It's been 4 months now and it's the biggest struggle to not focus on what happened, the guilt I have, the regret. I understand the feelings.
But, those feeling won't ever change unless you change your life. You can't get over someone without moving forward. It probably feels like you're stuck and you have no control over what's going on but YOU are the only one who can control your life. The first step is acknowledging that your life CAN change, next is realizing that you deserve to be happy. Third, make changes to work towards getting the life you want and deserve.
I know it's so hard and seems impossible. Once you realize you have the power to do anything everything will suddenly start looking up. You may have struggles and have to work to get what you want harder than you would like to but you, and even more so, your child s worth it because you're feelings effect him, whether you realize it or not. You have to quit focusing on what happened, what other people are doing or saying and realize that you are your child's biggest influence and what you do and say matters the most and use that as motivation. And let that give you confidence because you're the most incredible, most beautiful and most important person to your son and if that doesn't give you feel somewhat good about yourself I don't know what will. And just to throw my opinion out there that's coming from what I've realized about myself....
You will never find a guy good enough for your if you don't feel good about yourself...You can't expect to find a good, respectful guy if you feel like you're ugly and so bad that you think God hates you...I've made the decision for myself to make goals, gain more respect for myself and actually do something that makes me feel good about myself and the life I have. That way I'll be able to have higher standards and end up being with someone who respects me and who can benefit my already good life. So that would be my advice for you and anyone else.
I'm sorry I wrote so much.... I just hated reading what you said. No one should have to go through what you did or feel how you feel.
I'm here to talk anytime :]

Samantha - posted on 10/20/2010

2

29

0

Hey, I know how you are feeling. I feel the same way everyday my son is also three montha old and his father has liedto me from day one of our relationship. He told me he had a job and didn't so i spent the majority of my pregnancy supporting him and his family. I want nothing to do with him because of his lies but everyday I find it hard to believe that I could be duped so badly and hurt so much. Sometime I just want my old life bakc without my little man but I wouldn't be without him as well. Men are never right you are gorgeous and will find the right guy. I tell myself this everyday as well because I know that it is true. Being hurt by someone you love sucks big time but the best revenge is going out looking fantastic and showing them that they have no power over you.
The best thing you can do for your son is telling your mum not to say negative things about his father when he's around thats the rule we have in our house and we stick to it becuase if we get into the habit now we will always be in the habit.
Your a great mum because you carry on. Just keeping going and eventually the pain will go away.

Charity - posted on 10/20/2010

73

17

2

You need to learn how to love yourself. You have bought into so many lies that life around us tells us. Start taking time to do things you love to do. If you don't know what those are, try different things. Go to the movies by yourself. Sit in an actual restaurant by yourself. Learn how to be by yourself. Read books that you enjoy. STOP WATCHING MTV. STOP READING COSMO. Stay away from media that causes you to look at yourself and feel bad about yourself. And STOP worrying about meeting another guy. Because you will never be completely happy if you don't learn to love yourself. If you care that much about a guy who treated you like garbage, that means you don't love yourself and you have allowed him to tell you how much your worth.
I don't know if you believe in God but I do. And I believe He created each and every one of us. And I believe He is King because that's what the bible teaches. And if He is King and he created everyone, that means we are princes and princesses. YOU ARE A PRINCESS!!! You are a treasure. You are a jewel. You are precious and priceless. When you can believe that about yourself, you will know what guy is right for you and what guy isn't. Guys should be asking YOU out. They should be calling YOU. They should be asking to be your FRIEND first. Today that is so hard to find. But I promise you they exist. Regardless if you ever meet Mr. Right, remember you are priceless. And your baby needs you. My dad went to prison when I was 15 and my mom raised six kids all by herself. You can do this. Spend time getting to know yourself. Put men out of your mind and focus on you and your baby.
You are stronger than you think. Talk to a doctor and see if he can help with the physical problems. Talk to a shrink or pastor about the mental aspect. Get help. Reach out. And I suggest telling your parents you don't want to hear it anymore. Tell them how you feel and ask for their support if you choose to make this change that I have suggested. But keep telling yourself "he's not worth it."

Krissi - posted on 10/20/2010

5

0

0

I read your post and it is heartbreaking.... Mainly because I experienced something similar, but there is good news for you, and a total light at the end of the tunnel. . . I have so much to say to you that can't possibly be written out... If you feel comfortable, please email to me your phone number and I will gladly call you for some counseling you desperately need: krissisimos@aol.com . I promise you, you will not feel this way forever, even though right now you are experiencing unbelievable depths of total pain. Please contact me... I'd love to help, and I think I have invaluble advise.

Felicia - posted on 10/17/2010

41

21

12

girl you are pretty! if a guy cant see that then he is out of his mind... you need to get out with the baby and meet people...walk and meet neighbors...i havent went out or dated in almost a year and a half but i do get out with my baby and take him to the store or to the zoo(our zoo is free)....and when you start to get sad just think that it could be worse...someone in the world has it worse than you think you have so know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel....and get some type of help from the government even if they do take money from your babys father hoe :-) at least your son will have what he needs!

[deleted account]

I thought tthat i was the only one who was this way. Your story is my story! I am depressed, moved back in with my parents, dont have any friends, dont leave the house much except to go to doctors appointments. I am a pretty girl and you are too! We have just been treated so badly that we dont feel good about ourselves. We basically have no self esteem. My daughters father left 8 days after she was born. Tore me to pieces and I am still trying to put myself back together. I understand what you mean about the dating situation. It is tough! Very tough. I havent dated anyone since her dad. that was 16 months ago. I am seeing a therapist now. Really just gives me someone to talk to. You have to get out there and be social, even if it means bringing your child with you. You are worth it. Dont feel hopeless. I know that it is hard. I feel the same way that you do. I feel that things are so bad right now, so they can only get better. and you are the only person who can make that happen. I am learning and determined to get myself back to being me, happy, confident, outgoing, and SMILING!! You and I are in the same boat. I think we could be a good support system for eachother. Keep your chin up and know that YOU MATTER! you are beautiful and you are going to get through this.

Kimberly - posted on 10/17/2010

11

37

1

I went through almost the same situation as u. I am unemployed and got very sick after my last daughter was born. I have struggled with depression and the same pain ur discribing. My pain eventually got very worse and I ended up in the hospital. U have to find someone to talk to. I found a preacher to talk and cry to, I don't have insurance right now. Talking to him has been life changing for me. The pain eases is u just talk to someone. Once u pick urself back up everything else will work out and u will know what to do. Good Luck and Please find someone to talk to for urs and ur sons sake. U being down and out right now is doing nothing for u or him. Preachers are free and very helpful when u just need someone to talk to.

Morgan - posted on 10/16/2010

4

37

0

Surprisingley I do eat super healthy, I go jogging everyday and my newborn has slept through the night since he was born. I am very lucky to have one of the best babies ever always happy even when he was in the hospital for a food allergy and getting stuck all the time. I thought about the depression but I dont have insurance anylonger I lost it after he was born. I have never been depressed and before this was always happy and smiling and up for anything. thanks everyone for the replies. I really wish there was a pill to make this go away. And in my state if I get any assistance they go after his father who is jobless. They still require him to pay or he goes to jail. I have chosen NOT to take his money because it will be his gf's money not his and I want nothing from her! She ruined my life and still does I never want her to be able to say her money bought me or my son anything!

Lauren - posted on 10/16/2010

1

5

0

I know some of what you are going through and just keep trying for your son. My daughter is 2 and I am only just getting over some of the stress and hurt. It really just takes time. I believe you have to draw lines and set boundaries with your family. You are your son's mother and it is your job to protect him. Even to protect the image of the 2nd most important person in his life. I have started to be completely selfish because how can I be a good mother to my daughter if I don't take care of myself. Be encouraged. When things are at there worst they can only get better.

Zenobia - posted on 10/15/2010

6

62

3

first of all, there is nothing unattractive about you. When I read tht I had to zoom in on ur pic..lol I really do understand where ur coming form, u have to understand tht evry thng GOD does is 4 a reason. God knws ur strng n he knws how much u can handle. It is time 4 u to get up n take control back; n tht includes letting ur parents knw it is unacceptable to talk dwn in front of ur child about the father. Evry1 is allowed n opinion but they have to keep it as there opinion n not make it the child's. I dont knw where u live but the state should b able to help u find a job or go to school. Once ur wrkin or doing something tht u feel good about all ur WOMANLY WORTH will come back. Once this is accomplished u wont even want the DAD N E more, he wont even b on ur level. The shoe will then turn n he will b cryin to u n begging u, but dont fall for it his time has passed. GOOD LUCK on ur new LIFE.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms