Scared

Karli - posted on 06/06/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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So just found out I'm pregnant n my new bf of 2 month's says we are not ready. I honestly didn't think I could get pregnant so I'd like to keep it but scared I won't be able to do it on my own if he decides to leave me. I'm 22 with a minimum wage job n struggle already but I feel like I would regret having an abortion. I just need some advice please

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Chiara - posted on 06/09/2016

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I think the best advice is to weigh your options. At your age you have plenty more child bearing years. Would you rather have an abortion or bring a child into this world you cant take care of. I have 2 kids but I had several abortions. I was on birth control (many different types none of which worked). Do what is best for you in the long run.

Sarah - posted on 06/08/2016

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Sorry if I misunderstood Valeria.
I agree that parenting a newborn is very challenging under the best of circumstances. Karli, do you have family support to help you when the baby arrives. I am still curious why you assumed you could not get pregnant?

Valeria - posted on 06/08/2016

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Yes, it is what I meant. If he does not want to parent that is fine. He is most definately entitled to pay for that childs expenses. But that is not what I meant, help isnt just financially when you have a baby. Its waking up 9 times at night, having no sleep at all and having to work in the morning to come home and have a sick baby or fussy baby. By help I meant more of the parenting portion not financial portion. He can be paying child support, but if the father is not there than all the little things a new mom doesnt know just becomes harder. I speak from experience, my sons father could have given me a million dollars but he did not live with us or visited enough to know how hard a newborn was, but having all the help is necessary specially for newborns. :)

Strong - posted on 06/07/2016

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I’m so sorry to hear about your circumstances (Hug). I would suggest that you seek counsel with regard to your situation. I think you might find this information useful -- http://bit.ly/1WEg5e1. It may be helpful to speak with one of the counselors, as well. I’m going to be praying for God to lead your steps. Stay strong and please reach out for help.

Sarah - posted on 06/07/2016

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"if he does not want to help than that is fine"...
UHHH no way! He made the baby he is obligated to financially support said baby. If he doesn't want to parent, fine. However you did not conceive alone, also to get medicaid, WIC and welfare, you have to apply for child support. Make your life easier, name him on the BC, and file for CS right away.

Gardensparrow - posted on 06/07/2016

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Hi friend~
Well, it's totally understandable you're feeling overwhelmed by this unexpected pregnancy. But know there's help available out there for women in your shoes.Along with the suggestion Valeria gave, have you thought of contacting a local Crisis Pregnancy Center (you can find them at optionline.org)? They offer a lot of free assistance and can give you some info on your options. Lastly, if possible, lean on friends and family. My prayer for you is that your BF will step up and help, but definitely reach out to other loved ones and don't go through this alone. ((Hugs))!

Valeria - posted on 06/07/2016

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You have to think of every possibility. I personally belief that nobody is ever truly ready for a baby. You adapt to the environment you are in and if you decide to keep it you have a lot of expenses, but also what is ultimately best for the child. you can apply for Medicaid and wic for your meals. There is always a way, if he does not want to help than that is fine, just like it is fine if you decide to keep that child. Trust me it is better to have a man who wants to be there for your kid rather than having to beg a man to be there for the kid. It ultimately hurts the baby more when the dad doesn't want to be around. Just talk and clear all the options and if he says at the end he is still not ready, just do what you want with all the consequences in mind. Like I said you can apply for Medicaid now and also for Wic so that's an extra help. Medicaid covers health insurance and rides to the pediatrician, also daycare services. Wic covers formula and meals for the baby, get all the help you can until you are financially able to care on your own. Don't ever depend on a man specially when you have a kid to worry about.

Lauren - posted on 06/06/2016

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I had my son at 19 then my daughter at 20 both by the same guy. We broke up when i first found out I was pregnant with my daughter. It was hard being a single mommy but it is so worth it. Kids are such a blessing. If you do not want to have an abortion don't get one it is your choice do not give in to him. Its ok to be scared I was but I love my children since day one when I found out. I wish you the best of luck And remember God wouldn't give you anything you cant handle. If you would like you can email me your number I'll be glad to talk with you and listen and just to support you my email is laurengamble0419@gmail.com

Sarah - posted on 06/06/2016

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Why did you assume you could not get pregnant at 22? Having a child with a man you barely know will not be easy and likely you won't be together forever so you will have to deal with co parenting. If you'd regret terminating the pregnancy, then don't. You can raise a child as a single mother but i am not going to sugar coat it. Having a baby with a solid marriage, secure finances and a career is hard enough.

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