Secret meetings with my sister, what do you think?

MAHOGANY - posted on 07/28/2010

I would leave him alone because I know someone who experienced the same thing and finally discovered her sister and her husband were sleeping together long before she even suspected anything.

Lisa - posted on 07/27/2010

Been there done that! Though it was with a friend since I have no sisters. At the time my ex insisted that it was me just over reacting.... up until she thought she was pregnant and he wanted me to raise the kid. ALWAYS trust your instincts they are usually not to far off.

Ida - posted on 07/25/2010

I am sorry to hear that. It is not easy. I hope you have a support system for yourself. Maybe a church family that can be there for you? All of my adult life I've been involved in church. They are really there for you when you need them. Make sure and take care of yourself, forgiving yourself is big one and seek counseling from a good counselor.

Kristina - posted on 07/24/2010

Thank you all for all your support. It has been a very rough few months. I am still at a loss on the whole situation. I have repaired my relationship with my sister, but my ex has no desire to try to work things out because of what happened. He thinks that by me asking questions I was over reacting and wouldn't drop the subject.
It would be easy to just let me go, but it has been very hard. We have been together for three years and the father to my daughter. I thought we would grow old together and raise our daughter together and be a happy family. To have that dream come falling apart has been heart breaking and hard to deal with.

Ida - posted on 07/24/2010

Are you both going to counselling? I think you'd better confront your sister and if you're not back together set up legal boundaries. See a marriage counselor if you can work it out. It would be bettter for the child.

Kori - posted on 07/22/2010

I know this is your husband but it sounds super shady to me and like you said how come he can go see YOUR SISTER but can't see his daughter. I have a feeling that you will not trust him and with out that trust the relationship doesn't have a leg to stand on

Alisha - posted on 07/22/2010

You should have a heart to heart with your sister and ask her what's going on. Tell her how much it hurts you. You should try to be calm about it so they don't have anything against you but I can't imagine being in that situation! Has your husband said that he wants to work things out with you? I think since they were keeping it a secret from you, it's a little strange.

Jan - posted on 07/21/2010

regardless of the fact that...a she is your sister and b he is your "ex" both of whom should be showing you respect and care enough for you that they wont hurt you...even inadvertantly. If you took him back with this secrecy hanging over your head you would be living in hell, always wondering if you could trust them together. Dont do it to yourself........you should "know" there is nothing there simply by his and her actions, actions speak louder and truer than words.
Your worth more. Good luck.

Jennie - posted on 07/20/2010

I wouldn't bother to ask questions. You're not going to get the whole truth anyway and asking will just leave you feeling more hurt and lied to by people you love. It sounds too suspicious to me! There is something going on. Even if its not physical, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can't trust? There is a reason he's your ex! My #1 rule is to never second guess myself. Even if I start to feel different over time I have to trust why I had initially made the decision in the first place. You're first instinct is always correct! Kick him to the curb and put your sister on notice! That's the biggest betrayal of all.

Susan - posted on 07/20/2010

Girl you can't be that naive. There is no reason ever for them to meet secretly or otherwise unless they are sleeping together. I am so so sorry but actions speak louder than words especially when they are trying to make you into the bad and crazy one for questioning them. It is classic guilty behavior. If you still dont want to face it hire a detective and get the proof you need or just look in the mirror and ask yourself what you really think and know. You have the answer already it's just hard to accept sometimes. blessings to you.

Karen - posted on 07/17/2010

i am sorry to hear whats happened, and then you get treated like your over reacting,,,,, i would feel exactly the same, its only natural, does he have a brother ? how would he feel if you done it to him..
i am sending you a big hug, i would be so hurt, if its innocent,,, why the secrets ?

Letitia - posted on 07/16/2010

Listen to your instincts and be very careful....Its called ''female intuition'' for a reason...

Emily - posted on 07/14/2010

I have a friend whose sister collaborated with my friend's then-husband to give the baby formula during the day and break the breastfeeding tie before the husband left her.
I'm not trying to be sensationalist, and not everyone needs to be distrusted. BUT, in this case... caution is definitely worthwhile.

Vanessa - posted on 07/14/2010

Good point Emily ---- I wouldn't be leaving bub with the sister. After all, if you've proven you can't be trusted it makes you wonder if they'll concoct a plan together.
(yes i have been watching too many midday movies due to being couch-bound and pregnant! LOL)

Emily - posted on 07/14/2010

Defensive = feeling guilty. Unwilling to answer questions = something to hide. I'm with Vanessa (as usual :-D) and Amanda. Be very careful, especially with leaving your baby with your sister.

Vanessa - posted on 07/14/2010

Agree with Amanda - soooo suspicious!
You are right to flip out ----- I would be livid! Surely there are some people that are just off-limits?!

Amanda - posted on 07/14/2010

it sounds fishy to me. i would put off working things out until you get that settled. never ignore a gut feeling.. never believe its enough.. but never ignore it. if you feel like something went down don't put it off as silliness. think about the reason for the split in the first place. if he's been going over there rather then seeing his daughter... that doesn't sound very good as far as im concerned.