Sexting

Julie - posted on 06/08/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I recently found nude pics of boys in my daughter's Facebook messenger and she's been sending pics too. How can I talk to her about thus without getting upset

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Somer - posted on 06/12/2017

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I see no one is touching this one, and it is no wonder why. This is a HOT button topic for all parents, especially with emerging technology taking off at light speed! Parents find themselves reaching for Google every time their kids speak about the latest trend for words like "TTYLXOX", and "slaying." It can be all consuming if not careful.

A few suggestions follow, which may range from mild, to "OMG, I am not saying that to my child!" Bear with me, and just use what you think will work for you. I do hope this helps.

1. Have a list of thoughts well laid out in advance. Write them down, put them on note cards, however you have to do this is fine. There is NO manual to parenting, This will take time. Expect it to. You are going to write things, re-read them, re-write them, etc. As long as you see your point becoming clearer, and not more distorted you are fine.

2. Stick to the list. Teens are great at diversion, distraction, and anything that will run a conversation off topic and straight to the train tracks. It is important to listen to your teen, but allow time for that after YOU go over each topic off, which brings me to number three.

3. Outline the "rules of engagement" when you sit her down to talk to her. I had a very volatile relationship with my mother, so one of our rules may have been "No yelling." as an example. Make the rules, and stick to them. Allow her time not to rebut, but to explain herself, (if you really want that.) It is important to listen, no matter how hard and infuriating it can be,

5. Try to disassociate yourself as much as you can during this conversation. Ask yourself, "what would I tell my friend to say to her child?" And always hold on to the fact that you are her Mother, which is a bond stronger than most.

6. Reverse the situation - (THINK before acting on this one.) It may be uncomfortable, and a shock, but try saying "How would you feel if you saw this on my phone? If the roles were reversed, what would you really truly FEEL? "Really take a moment and try to picture it." This is an awkward one, but I have learned from dealing with awkward my whole life, that if you become comfortable with awkward, this can work by associating a very uncomfortable feeling, with a very negative act.

I hope some or any of this helps you!

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Idowu - posted on 06/16/2017

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How old is your daughter? Tell her whatever she posts online remains there forever. Even when she deletes them, someone has already down loaded them and can repost anytime. Inform her that colleges and jobs pull up things posted on web accounts to make decisions!

Joann - posted on 06/14/2017

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Discuss with your child, if she admits to it, then try to get what her PoV is. The more you see it from her viewpoint, you will understand why she did it a bit more than you did before

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