SHARING PLEASE HELP

Diana - posted on 12/02/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I HAVE A 2 YR OLD THAT REFUSES TO SHARE WITH MY 13 MONTH OLD OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER I'VE TRIED TIME OUTS FOR HIM AND THE TOYS A LIGHT SMACK ON THE HAND NOTHING HAS WORKED ANYONE HAVE AN ANSWER

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Diana - posted on 12/04/2009

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thanks to everyone for the great advice this will help cause they will be in daycare soon and i don't want that behavior shown there but thank you it has worked wonders

HEATHER - posted on 12/03/2009

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Instead of punishing when he doesn't share, reward him when he does. Make a big deal out of it. O-oh and A-ah over him for sharing. He'll catch on eventually that it is a good thing to share. It doesn't happen over night. Remember, he may feel that the younger child gets more attention. So, he may be looking for attention too. Give him good attention for good things he does and he will reward you with better behavior.

Vanessa - posted on 12/03/2009

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Sharing is so hard at that age, and I wonder if part of that could be lack of understanding and trust - we're asking a young child to give away his toy. Does he know that it will come back? I'm a preschool teacher, and I teach 2 year olds. Some things we try are timing - your brother wants a turn on the swing too, how about we sing Twinkle Twinkle two times and then it's his turn? And we will sing Twinkle Twinkle two times while we push him, then it's your turn again. Or substitution - your brother wants your book, maybe you could play with his car while he reads. In extreme cases we will remove the toy - if you can't let others play with it then no-one plays. When you're ready to let your brother have a turn we can get it out and give it to him and when his turn is up you can have it again. The downfall to that is that the children aren't able to learn to compromise, share or problem solve for themselves. Also check it's practical to share - if he only has a small piece of cake is it realistic to expect him to give some of it away? If it's his brand-new toy that he's just opened up, or if it's a toy that demands he be actively involved with, can he just drop what he's doing and give it to someone else? And will the person he's sharing with respect the toy? If not then it's not fair to ask him to share now.

Once your son starts sharing you have the next wonderful phase - where they think that sharing means "you give me what I want now, or else you're not sharing!"

Good luck!

Krystal - posted on 12/03/2009

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Don't disclipine or redicule the child is the first step. You are showing this how i can get some kind of attention out of my mommy. Sharing is really patience for you and him also others. First take baby steps, make a sandwich for yourself cut in half and share with him. Make a big deal out of it, saying LOok Mommy shares now you do, make another sandwich tell him you want to be like mommy share this with your sister or brother...It helps to incourage your children they will respond quickly and enjoy their manners. That's how my 4 year old and 22mth old daughters share nicely. They often love to share everything, sometimes I do have to say this is for "you" only. Even then they share with everyone with whatever they got. So use postive reenforcement rather then discipline. Take care and Good Luck~Krystal

Marie B - posted on 12/02/2009

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gurl i wish i had an answer cause my son who is 22months doesnt share with anybody for anything not his food, toys or anything period, but the best advice i can give u is to be patience and try and show him how his suppose to share cause thats what am doing now and its kinda working so just try it and see if that helps ok if not am sorry and wish you good luck ok later

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