Shelley - posted on 12/18/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )
I came here because i couldnt find any other place that i thought would be as helpful,I hope you ladies dont mind. A little back story on my situation:
Me and my son's dad split up when he was 2. We decided at the time that it was best for our son to stay with him because at the time he was only playing football (which took 2 hours out of his day for practice) and i was transferring my 45-50 hour a week job to a new city to get away from him. In the beginning everything was fine. we would meet halfway every two weeks. That went on for about 6 months and then i moved back down and we tried to work it out. When it didnt work i moved away again still leaving my son with him because i was still working more than he was. Shortly after he went to GA for 5 months to play football so our son stayed with me. When he came i decided that i wanted to go to school so that i wouldnt always be stuck in dead end jobs and he agreed that he would keep him. The agreement was that i would pay his medical and then anything else he needed his dad would call me and let me know. Once i got into school it became harder for me to see our son plus work full time and by then his dad had a live in girlfriend who also had a daughter and was a stay at home mom in their home. at the time, it's what i thought my son deserved so agreed to let him start school there. Shortly after i had a baby with my then fiance who ended up leaving me by myself with the baby. it took me about a year but i finally got back on my feet and was able to relocate to be closer to my oldest son. 3 years have gone by, I've been apart of my sons life. giving his dad money to help feed him (a number we came up with together). i split all of my sons activities with him, buy him clothes for school during the week at his dads on top of everything he needs when hes with me on the weekends.
now: something strange is happening with his dad. he up and quit his job because "he didnt feel like going in anymore" (he actually said those words to my face). he signed our son up for this really expensive basketball program and then sent me an e-mail telling me i owe half. usually i just say whatever and pay it. this time, i cant afford it. he didnt consult with me before hand (which i've asked hi to do many of times in the past) and now he's telling me i cant come and pick up my son until i pay it. i also found out that he is not letting our son see his grandparents because they refused to help him financially once they found out he quit his job. i am going down on monday to start the custody process, because I'm not going to be held victim to his demands like that. I wanted to ask for joint custody, but now i'm considering asking for full custody. it's VERY clear that he is not putting the best interest of our son first. This shows both by him quitting his job and not "allowing" our son to see the people that love him the most over money issues. My concern is would the courts even award me full custody since he's been pretty much with his dad this whole time? His dad all of a sudden is saying that i just left my son behind from the time he was 2 until now.
I am fighting to keep from going over there because i know it will cause a lot more harm than good AND i dont want my son knowing about any of this craziness. what should i do?