should i ask for more child support?

Tavonna - posted on 12/31/2011 ( 20 moms have responded )

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The father of my child has been paying 100$ in child support once a month. At the time it was set he didn't have a good job. But in the past few yrs. he been at a better one. I never asked the court for more cus when i ask him for extra he gives it to me and he comes and gets his child a few times a month. I work one job but it's not enough to take care of my household. He just started a new relationship and now when i ask for some help he have all kinds of excuses why he can't. He and his new woman moved in together so i'm thinking he has more help at home with bills. So he can help me financially with his child more. So should I go through the court and ask for more? I'm just afraid that now he's in a relationship that our child wont come first. Cus this has happened with my other childs father.

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I agree and have actually done the opposite, as well. My son's father lost his job and he didn't report a change in income, so I have left it alone. He wastes his money on stupid things and I'm sick of it. As a society I think we have so much pressure put on us as women to 'do the right thing'. Well, the right thing is to do what's best for our children. And he will have to prove that he can't afford it if he actually can't. AND, you should ask for more support for all the time he's been able to pay more b/c you shouldn't have had to ask for more. 100/month? What the hell does that cover? My goodness! =)

Garrica - posted on 12/31/2011

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OMG THIS IS THE SAME THING IM GOING THROUGH AND YES YOU SHOULD ASK FOR MORE BECAUSE IF HE CAN AFFORD TO TAKE CARE OF HIS "NEW" WOMAN THEN HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIS KIDS BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! GET WHAT YOU CAN BECAUSE IF WE AS WOMEN DONT PRESS THE ISSUE A MAN WILL WALK OVER US AND FORGET! THIS IS MAKING ME MAD BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE IN THIS SITUATION

Casey - posted on 01/13/2012

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hang in there hun! take him to court and make him pay what he should! he made the child he should support that child.i have 3 kids my young ones have the same father and he was paying minuim because he said he couldnt afford it. then i took him to court and the court worker laughed at him. he now pays what most guy pay in a mth for just one week! make he pay for the child!

Luvmia - posted on 01/02/2012

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Holly, I agree with you a 100 percent! It seems that it is always on us to do everything the right way and we are always the blame (by men) for everything.

I have learned that it is about survival when you are a woman with kid/s. A hundred dollars does not cover food for a week let alone for a WHOLE month! Wow! The system never cease to amaze me but I have learned to use the system to my advantage to get more for me to take care of my kid. If I don't, we both will suffer.

Danielle - posted on 01/02/2012

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Alisha has the best idea so far IMHO. Contact your child support services (it's called DHS in many states). Oftentimes they can garnish the non-custodial parent's paycheck to make sure you get the money. It also saves you attorney fees and court costs. Unfortunately it can take awhile before they complete the paperwork, but I'd go that route immediately. If they don't help you enough, then you can also seek judgement thru the court yourself. Make sure you document all of the child's expenses that you can (doctor visits, daycare costs, medicine) as well as payments he's made (dates, amounts, etc.) If you didn't already have court paperwork showing he was supposed to provide support, have it made up now including the fact that he needs to pay a percentage of the child's medical & daycare costs.

Also, depending on the state you're in, you might be able to find a child support calculator online as well as some templates for how to make the above suggestions legal. If you have any other questions, feel free to let me know. I'm not a paralegal (yet), but I did a really good job on our divorce decree & custody modification to help make sure our kids are provided for. :)

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Jennylynn - posted on 03/27/2013

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yes put in fore more. I went throw the same question myself. This is fore your child and he is at a better job and should pay more for your child. in my book as the child gets older the child support should go up. lets face it 100- 200 a month is nothing compared to what kids go throw and need.

Amanda - posted on 02/09/2012

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take him back no matter how you feel it's best for the child. I do know its like have two kids with two different dads, but i have to say i got lucky with the second one and he's still here and treats my first son like its his. I haven't seen or herd from my sons father since june of 2011. he didn't even call to see him on his birthday. i did go to court and won. i got full custody, back pay, and 380 some a month. but my ex never willingly paid and to this day is over 5000 owing me. the difference between our daddies is that mine don't care. he used to take our son here and there till he was putting my sons life on the line and wouldn't carry my sons meds with him. which bc of that there was a few times i had to take him to the hospital. going back to court isn't an option for me but do whats best for your kids and get the money that is owing to them to be cared for.

Danielle - posted on 02/03/2012

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In OK you can ask DHS to review child support amounts annually. They also automatically survey both parents every 3yrs (it's a federal mandate supposedly) to make sure child support matches incomes. They ask questions like how much you're making, if you're in college, how much you pay in medical premiums & daycare costs. Unfortunately, they won't go after the non-custodial parent for any expenses other than child support unless you get a judge to "award" the additional arrearages (like for out-of-pocket medical and daycare costs) in a court order.



Actually if you do take him back for additional support, add that to your motion. You shouldn't have to pay 100% for your child's medical & daycare costs out of the child support you receive; the non-custodial parent should have to pay a portion of that. I'd recommend you state that it be equal to the percentage of income the non-custodial parent would contribute to the household. If you go to http://www.okdhs.org/programsandservices..., they have a spreadsheet there to help you calculate child support in OK. You can see there how it figures out each parent's financial responsibility in %. That's the minimum of how much the non-custodial parent should be responsible for for the child's medical &/or daycare out-of-pocket costs.



Child support is to help keep a roof over the child's head, clothes on his/her back, utilities for the house and food on his/her plate. You shouldn't be left to handle medical emergencies by yourself financially.

Luvmia - posted on 02/03/2012

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Yes you should ask for more because it will better the circumstances of the child. As children get older, they DO cost more and $100 per month is not enough. And he can afford to pay more since he has a job.



There are men whom have a tendency to "forget" their responsibilities when they get a new woman. Sad but true. Wow. I hope everything works out for you.

Kristin - posted on 02/03/2012

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In Texas, you have the right to re-evaluate their income every 4 years to change the cs amount. My son's father was paying $300/mo and that amount was set when he was born (8 yrs ago). He has a better job now so I took him to court to see what the new amount would be. They adjusted the amount to $785/mo.! Come to find out, he's making 4 times what he used to and has been for almost 5 years now! He lives in a great townhome in the rich part of Houston, has two cars and has been travelling all over the world for business. Meantime, my son and I live in a small trailer in the worst part of town, in a sub-par school district, barely making ends meet. This extra money means that we can move to a better area and now my son can play sports and get the tutoring he desperately needs. I can't afford to go to college, myself, but now I can start saving so that my son has a chance to do better in life. I only wish I had taken him back to court 5 years ago!

Take it to court and have an amount set so that if he gets married and has more kids, you don't have to worry about him not paying. Even if he makes minimum wage, $100 is way too little. He should be paying at least $200 for one child.

Tavonna - posted on 01/10/2012

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@ Karen, I have 2 different baby daddies to deal with, and yes one does alot more then the other. But I do more then both of them together. So I will never thank them for what they do cause both can do better. I know things could be worse but that doesn't excuse their lack of support.

Karen - posted on 01/10/2012

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I seem to have annoyed a few people so perhaps i should expand my answer there are alot of single parents raising thier child(ren) without support payments or visitation by the other parent they are on thier own i just thought she should be greatful she gets anything and that he sees the child I am a single mom of 3 children (2 are special needs) and his children from his first marriage also were with me after the divorce (2 more) I had to take care of all 5 with NO support payments after i took him back to court to get my support payments they were waived because he was under stress or him taking them even for an evening I would have been greatful for a break once a month I just think that if you get anything from the other parent you should not mess with it I apologize if i offended anyone but if u are getting any support or you are getting any kind of break when the kids see the other parent enjoy it and appreciate it while you have it

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Thank him for helping to support and see HIS child? Um... yeah, sure.... My ex has had his child support modified 3 times (not that he's ever paid no matter what it was set at though). First was minimum. Then was based on what he claimed his income was when he left... since he failed to redo the paperwork when the judge told him to. Now it's set back at minimum. Not that it makes a difference what it's set at since he owes over $27,000....

If the income is higher than when the $100 was set. Of course you should file to get more. It's your child's right to be properly supported by both parents.

Angie - posted on 01/09/2012

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I'm sorry Karen ~ am I understanding you that if someone's income changes for the higher or the lower, neither side should request any modifications to the original order so it remains the same for 18 years ~ that doesn't sound fair for either side....and I probably shouldn't address the thank him part.

Karen - posted on 01/09/2012

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NO ... plain and simple be glad he sees your child thank him for the 100 a month and be glad he helped you when he could

Tavonna - posted on 01/08/2012

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@ Garrica, Thats why I like coming on circle of moms. I always felt alone with my issues. But coming on here lets me talk it out with others goin through the same thing. And it makes me feel a lil better and not so alone.

Alisha - posted on 01/02/2012

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Yes, I would talk to child support and tell them he's making more money now. Then you will have to get a new court order. They will be able to tell you the next steps you can take. As far as him being involved less and less because of his girlfriend, there's not much you can do but please document everytime he contacts you and everytime he says he's going to do something then he doesn't (like spend time with your child). In case he ever tries anything, you need documentation.

Robin - posted on 01/02/2012

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You can and should ask for more in your order u have now he is required to report income changes and stuff like that, if he's not doing that then yes go back to court and petition for more support you need to stand up and get what your child deserves

Angie - posted on 01/01/2012

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Yes, you should. If you are due for a modification and there has been a change in income, you should definitely have that reviewed/revised. You shouldn't be at the mercy of "if" he decides to give extra ~ you should have enough ordered to take care of your child...best of luck to you :)

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