Should i just let this fantasy go?

Anika - posted on 06/09/2011

oh and also, about the domestic abuse. REPORT it! I've dealt with this also and if there happens to be a nasty court battle later, you'll need proof of any and all incidents. And whatever you do, NEVER let your child see any domestic violence. My daughter saw and she has never forgotten.

Anika - posted on 06/09/2011

I literally JUST went through this same thing and my advice: let go of any ideas of you two having a relationship..EVER. If he is giving you mixed signals, he doesn't want you and you shouldn't waste your time. I know in my situation, my daughter's father pretended he wanted to be with me and I caught him with his recent ex whom he'd said he wasn't talking to anymore, and when confronted about it he basically said he just wanted to be able to see his daughter whenever he wanted and not be restricted to certain visitation hours. so in the long run, he was only playing a role to get what he wanted. Not saying this is your situation, but, be careful. Emotions can get the best of us and then we're left with nothing. you need to get into the mindset that you are who you are, you know exactly who you are as a mother, a woman, etc, and nothing he says or does is going to take away from those things. Don't worry about showing him anything, you just focus on yourself and doing the things you've been doing and not involving him in your personal life. You can raise your child together as best as possible, but do not tell him anything personal about yourself. stick to the main issue, your child. and leave it at that. Trust me, you don't want to end up in the spot I just was in.

BARBARA - posted on 06/05/2011

Hello, all i can say on this situation from experience is that i share a house (we have seperate rooms) with my sons father because we both grew up without fathers and didnt want our son to experience that and have done this for the last 14 years and i have to tell you it doesnt get any better or easier. if the chemistry is not there from the start it never will be, if you living as a single mom is working for you and your child i would say stay with it and start looking forward to the future with someone who will truely love both you and your child and just make sure your childs father always has a place in your childs life because as long as you are still holding onto the fantasy with your childs father you will never be able to move on and find mr right for you

Iysha - posted on 06/01/2011

It doesn't sound like he cares at all....I suggest you break it off COMPLETELY. Either he wants it all or nothing at all. I also suggest you take him to court for custody because even if you share joint custody, at least he will have set times and days when he is allowed to be with your child. Him just taking off with your child whenever he pleases is ridiculous! You need to set some boundaries. Remember that doing this doesn't make you mean....people meet the boundaries. It would be so you two come to an agreement on how to parent separately and just a little side note; the courts don't look too highly on domestic violence toward the other parent so it would be a good idea to put that in your deposition if he initiated it, especially in front of your baby.

Gillian - posted on 06/01/2011

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.. Oprah

Jennifer - posted on 05/30/2011

Yes, you should just let that fantasy go. If he was intending on being in a relationship with you it would have happened already. It seems to me like he's trying to hold onto you without actually having to commit to you. Especially if there's been a physical altercation between you two that's not good for you or the baby! As your daughter grows up she will take her cue from you and if you go back to how it was you will let her see that it is okay for a man to not only treat you that way but that should she get into an unhealthy relationship like that she's going to think it's okay for herself to be treated that way.
He's probably just trying to reel you back in again. It sounds like he doesn't want to be with you, but that he doesn't want you to find anyone else, either. And it's just selfish on his part. I urge you to move on.
I've been through two sperm donors lol trust me. I wish you the best (: