Ronicca - posted on 12/18/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )
My boyfriend intentionally got me pregnant. He said he feels it's the right time for us to have a baby and that he would take care of us. Everything sounded good and he was really excited about the baby. We even prayed after we made the baby. It was beautiful. But the thing is my boyfriend and I often have fights and arguments. We think we're really trying to make things work but it's just hard. Recently he was baptized as a Christian and it made me really happy knowing God can do something about his temper. After being baptized he claims that his spirituality has been opened up and everything seems to work well for him and God. I trust him and see changes in him in so many ways but for some reason it almost always lasts for a month and after 2 months he's always back to his old temper again. Our fights would be intolerable and he would always blame things on me saying I'm not enlightened yet as a person that's why. I know I have my own wrong doings but I know that it's just not me. On my second month of pregnancy, we had a huge argument and I felt I lost it because of too much sadness that I said things to him like he's selfish and I would just find someone to take care of me and my baby. And then I felt pain on my stomach and had a spotting. He said he'd pray about it and thinks I had a miscarriage. He went to my place and broke up with me. Then he asked me over and over if I was sure that the baby is still there. I kept saying it was but he would ask again how sure I am so finally I said it wasn't anymore then he left. After a month he found out from a friend that I was still pregnant so he came back and said his promises again. Apologized and promised he won't leave again like that. When he was gone I was crying every night and all stressed out. I was so angry at him and felt I couldn't live with what's going on. I kept praying. So when he came back I forgave him again hoping this time it would be different. For my whole 3rd month of pregnancy it was good. He would bring me stuff and visit me. Just 3 days ago tho we had a fight again about me posing for a cover for a men's magazine. I've been doing it before since I was a model. I told him I wanted this to be my last. And a souvineer of me before I get fat. He was angry and said things about me being a christian and all. I told him I wouldn't do it anymore if that would not make him comfortable. But he said the fact that I still thought about doing such even when I'm pregnant says a lot about me and what kind of woman I am. He was going to walk out on me again so I screamed at him and told him to leave me alone and stop doing this to me. And blaming me for everything because he kept saying everything about his life is doing good except for our relationship and I'm the only one who don't see how enlightened he is. I don't know what to do anymore. I keep praying about him but he's just impossible. I can give up everything for him but instead he judges me and puts me to misery every time he decides to leave. Then he would come back when he wants to. It's so much harder now that I'm pregnant. I it's not just me that is the problem because I've had many ex boyfriends and most of them wants to marry me. The sad part is I chose him but we can't seem to work it out. I told him that if everything is going well with him except with me then why does he always comes back to me? It's so hard now that I am carrying his baby and he still does the same thing as to when I wasn't pregnant. I think this is so immature of him as to what he's trying to convey of being enlightened and all. Should I just let go of the hope that God would make would help us work? Or maybe ipwe should just stop forcing it? But how about our baby? I fought for us when it's just us. Now I feel I should fight even more for the baby. But it's just becoming a cycle. Pls. Your advice would help a lot. Thank you and Godbless.