should i start dating again??

Beth - posted on 05/07/2012

good luck!! I'm hoping that one day that I'll meet a man who's right for me (and my girls). Need to get my social life operational again!!!

Sinead - posted on 05/07/2012

thanks everyone for the advice. still feeling a bit nervous about socialisng again but going to give it a go! if i do meet someone i definately wont be introducing him to my son until the relationship is well established and even then if my son doesnt get on with the guy then its history. it has to work both ways, have to find a man who accepts my son but equally my son must accept him too. if either one dislikes the other i'll be single again!!

Becky - posted on 05/04/2012

Ye A start dating again make it fun. And I went on a date and met at a mall (public) place and talked while we walked around and window shopped. It was fun and interesting. Then at dinner that's when I mentioned I had (back then) a 3 yr old son. Then after 3 or 4 more dates and I knew I would be with him for a while I introduced my son. But kids have a 6th sense about other people and what kind of person they are. So after you introduce them and he gets to know your new guy make sure you take time to really listen to how he feels about it.

Beth - posted on 05/04/2012

I've talked to my daughters and said that one day Mum (me) might get a bf. I've sowed the seed that I have a right to have a new man in my life and it not going to be single just because I'm Mum to three girls. The youngest two have giggled about it, and looked a bit unsure - but know that they come first. The eldest is OK with the idea, but has said that he's not allowed to move in and live with us!!!

I've been a single parent for just over 7.5 years now, and like the idea of having a new man in my life, who can also be a father figure to my girls. Also said to myself that I won't force it upon the man or my girls the title of 'Dad'. It is a title that he will have to earn and the girls and him will have to feel comfortable with it. My ex pops in and out of my girls' lives. The girls are aware that they have a biological Dad, will occasionally mention/ask about him - but it's fairly rare.

Jessica - posted on 05/04/2012

I think that you should, you deserve to be happy and loved. Just because we have children does not mean we have to be alone. As far as introducing him to your son, be as honest as possible. Start with this is mommys friend and see how they interact. Yes you may like him but he may not be able to interact with your son. Start some place neutral that your son likes maybe the zoo or a park .That is how I did it with my son, mommy friend would come over slowly more and more till your son gets more comfortable with the guy.(my son will be five soon)

Rhizza Marie - posted on 05/03/2012

hi.. I'm a single mom too for 3 years now and I feel ya! :) I also get that kind of feeling sometimes that I wanna be with somebody again. And I think that's just a normal feeling..nothing really bad with it right? That's why they call us the "single" mothers :) If you really think that it's the right time for you to get into a relationship, then go ahead. One good way to start is to rebuild your social life. Go out with your friends more often, get prettier and sexier, go shopping (I wish I had more money though..lol).. Try to get some "me" time each week and the things that a normal, single woman does. You can also try dating websites online.

Personally, I don't really like those websites but I know a lot of people who started from there. I met the father of my daughter from an online game, by the way (yeah I know it's stupid!). Going back, I just have to say though that you shouldn't take things too seriously just yet.. I mean, prepare yourself for a new relationship, get pretty for guys and stuff like that - but do it for the sake of having fun at the moment. It's more of like your ego booster for now. You see, it's important for us single moms not to appear vulnerable to men. I don't know if I'm making any sense here but I'm hoping you know what I mean ;)

Lastly, introducing a new man to your son should be taken really slow.. Let's say one day you finally meet a guy whom you think is the perfect one to spend the rest of your life with, please remember that "what you think" isn't always right. Truth is, there are way too many failed relationships waiting for us if we're not careful with our decisions. So I suggest not introducing anyone to your son as your "boyfriend" or as his "new daddy" just yet. He's only 5, and he can easily get hurt if things don't work out the way he expected. If you'll be dating a guy sometime soon, it's safer to introduce him to your son as a friend. And as much as possible, avoid PDA's when the kid is around - it's not going to be mentally and emotionally healthy for him. When is the right time to introduce a man (officially) to your son? I think only time can tell - perhaps by the time you guys decide to get married or live together or if your son is old enough to understand that not all adult relationships endure forever. As for the guy you'll be dating, he'll have to be ok with the whole waiting part. Otherwise, you'd be better off waiting for the man who will completely understand your situation. :)

Beth - posted on 05/03/2012

There is nothing wrong with you wanting to find a man to be in your life. Only thing I would say is don't rush into a relationship and take it slowly before introducing the new man in your life to your son.

You could always introduce the new man as one of your friends, before introducing him as your new partner.

What I've said is that if and when I do get a new man in my life, then he has to accept that my girls come part as a package deal - me AND my girls. My girls are not an optional extra.

Courtney - posted on 05/02/2012

Hey, what I'd suggest that. if you really want to find someone then go ahead and find someone. Everyone deserves to be happy! Now when it comes to the introduction to your son, you'd might want to wait to make sure that this guy is serious about you! If you introduce your son to the guy to soon, he could get attached and if he leaves, then it's be very heart breaking for you and your son! I have a friend that waited about 6 months before introducing the guy she was interested in to her daughter! She also waited to see how he was with her daughter before starting to get really serious with the guy! You want a man that is as good with you as he is your son! Thats the best answer I can give you. In the end, the decision is best for you, and what you think is best for your son!