Single father needs advice and opinions concerning my daughter & her m

Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/20/2016 ( 24 moms have responded )

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Ok where to begin........I'm not a mom but didn't know where else to ask. I'm a proud father to a 9 month old little girl. I love her more than anything. Me (26) and my fiancee (23), split up a couple months ago after a 7 year + relationship. She said she wasn't happy so she left. That's the only reason she gave me everytime I would ask. Anyway....my first concern is, the day we broke up or before. She started talking to alot of different guys. Which it does hurt to know after that long, she would immediately start seeing other people. Well I told her if she starts to date/mess around with someone. I would like to know who it is because I don't want my daughter to be around men I don't know and you barely know. And I will do the same if I start talking to someone else I'll let you know. Also if you take her somewhere kinda far I would like to know where she is incase something would happen or anything. She's says ok.... well about a week later she says she's taking my daughter and they are going stay at her grandma's for the weekend. I said fine and didn't think nothing of it. Well, I find out from my bank statement that she went met a guy at a RV park and spent the weekend like 3 hours away instead of going to her grandma's. Well of course I confronted her and asked nicely and she lied said she didn't go so on and so on. Then finally I get her to admit it. She still says she didn't take our daughter with her. But idk cause she is breastfeeding and don't have enough to pump and refuses to supplement formula when needed. Well a couple weeks go bye, I have been spending time with my daughter 3 hours at a time every couple days. That's all I get cause she can't leave her any longer because she breast feeds. She says she is going that weekend to her other grandma's to help move some furniture. Well this time I was suspicious from the time before and because she wouldn't send me any pictures of my daughter and was ignoring almost every call and text. She finally sent me a picture of her in her car seat said they had went to the store. Then the next day I asked for another pic. Got nothing. Not answering calls or texts. I was getting worried because usually she responds but i was mainly concerned for my daughter. Later that night she sends a picture finally of my daughter playing on the floor. The carpet was nasty and stained, had dirt everywhere, just nasty. I asked where she was and she said at her cousins friends house. That she was about to leave and go back to her grandma's. About 10min later she texted me. We here now. Going take a shower and go to bed. Goodnight. Well I did a little bit of digging on social media (glad I did) come to find out. She took our daughter to a hotel for the weekend so she can mess around with a 40 year old man. They had sex with my daughter on side of them sleeping. The man just got out of jail a few days before for DUI and hit and run, license suspended. And she had my daughter around him and spent the night all weekend. Of course I tried calling and texting all night, no response and even called the hotel, gave him their names and he transfered me to their room. No answer. The next morning I called her again. And she lied again, said she was leaving her grandma's. I confronted her about the hotel and that old guy she had my daughter around. After continuous lies I finally got the truth out of her. Talked to her about our daughter and her safety, and she doesn't need to put our daughter in that situation. Be a role model for your daughter and have respect for yourself. Our daughter doesn't need to meet every man you date. She says ok and she understands but I just can't trust her anymore. Especially when it comes to my daughter. That's my story so far.... she won't let my daughter stay with me overnight. Cause she breastfeeds and says she can't pump. And she refuses to supplement formula for her to stay with me. I want to be more than just a visit. I want to help raise my daughter. I want to be a parent, her father. Not just someone she comes visit for a few hours a day. And my ex usually goes somewhere every weekend. And I told her I don't want my daughter around that guy especially overnights in hotels. She says she won't bring her around him but since she can't leave the baby overnight anywheres I know for a fact she will lie again and go stay with that guy with my daughter. I been telling her all week if you wanna go see him. Leave my daughter with me or get someone in the family to watch her while you go mess around. A baby doesn't deserve that. I think it's wrong and disrespectful. And most of all dangerous putting your own daughter at risk in a situation like that. So what are yall thoughts and opinions on all of this. What should I do? Am I overreacting? Do you think she is wrong for doing that? Should I be able to spend more time with my daughter than 3 hours every couple days and spend nights with her especially the weekends, so I don't have to worry where her mother has her at or who she has her around? I'm just looking for honest opinions and advice.... and your thoughts on my situation. Idk where else to turn. I'm trying to keep things out of court, but I think it might go to that. Well thanks in advance. Just a concerned father wanting what's best for his daughter. And wants to be apart of his daughters life. Not just the day

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Raye - posted on 05/25/2016

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Well, hitting a child because the child was hitting is a poor disciplinary action. It's not teaching her to stop hitting. Mom would only be teaching the child "if you hit me, I can hit you", so how mature is that? That's not good discipline for a child of any age.

It's normal for babies to "act out" in this way, and it's not intentionally being mean. They really don't know how to be mean or act with intent. The baby is just learning about the world around them and part of that is to hit, pull hair, scratch, pinch, etc. Mommy should say "ouch, that hurts" and redirect the child. The baby won't understand that right away. It's usually around 18 months that they are capable of understanding what you're telling them to do or not do. Then they can gently be held responsible for how they behave. Sometimes a quick swat on the butt might be just the thing to get their attention and let them know you mean business, or smacking their hand if they reach for a hot pan or are putting themselves in danger. But otherwise no one should be hitting their child.

Often with kids and discipline you have to repeat yourself a lot before they start catching on. My step-kids are 9 and 11 and I feel like a broken record all the time. And most of the time they're not willfully trying to be mean or act out, it's just their attention span is short, or they have selective hearing, or are just too absorbed in what they're doing and don't hear or forget. It's just part of having kids. They don't have the maturity, control, or self-expression skills that older people do, and that's what the parents need to try to teach them through discipline.

Sarah - posted on 05/21/2016

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First you absolutely 100 percent have a right to parent. As does she. The child is 9 months old and should be on a solid food diet along with breast-milk or formula. You ex does not own the baby. You either need to persuade her to negotiate a fair shared parenting arrangement and get it signed by a judge, or file for joint custody or visitation or whatever it is you desire. While the AAP does advise breast milk for the first year, if she refuses to pump in order for the child to have breast milk when she is with you, a judge may order that you can give the baby formula when you are parenting.
Now, I get you are worried about your child, but unless mom is truly putting her in danger, then you have to stop with the investigating. If you really believe the baby is in danger, then file for full custody. When the baby is with you, and before long she will be able to overnight with you, you don't need to tell your ex where, what or whom you are with. You broke up so your personal lives are not each others business. Yes, it would be nice if
you could get along and be forthcoming but she doesn't have to tell you. Do not wait to get this straightened out in court. If you cannot afford a lawyer, check online for either Legal Aide or a father's rights activist. Your are both obligated to support this child and both entitled to parent. While you file for custody, make sure a temporary order is place that prohibits her from fleeing the state (if you think she might) cause the way it stands right now, she could. Or, if you had her, you could. That sort of behavior is not in the best interest of the child. Judges do not look favorably on parental alienation.
So get started.

Ev - posted on 05/21/2016

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{{Ok where to begin........I'm not a mom but didn't know where else to ask. I'm a proud father to a 9 month old little girl. I love her more than anything. Me (26) and my fiancee (23), split up a couple months ago after a 7 year + relationship. She said she wasn't happy so she left. That's the only reason she gave me everytime I would ask.}}~~~~~This happened to me....my ex husband decided he was done with no real reason why and it seems to be the big reason a lot of people get out of relatonships anymore.

{Anyway....my first concern is, the day we broke up or before. She started talking to alot of different guys. Which it does hurt to know after that long, she would immediately start seeing other people.}~~~~~it sounds like if she was dating so soon after either she was on rebound or she was already seeing someone new.

{{ Well I told her if she starts to date/mess around with someone. I would like to know who it is because I don't want my daughter to be around men I don't know and you barely know. And I will do the same if I start talking to someone else I'll let you know. Also if you take her somewhere kinda far I would like to know where she is incase something would happen or anything. She's says ok}}~~~~~First, you can not depend on a verbal agreement to something like that. Also when she has the child you can not dictate how she spends that time with the child or whom she has the child around unless you go to court to get it sorted out for custody, visitation and child support. She can not tell you how to do things either. You can not be there every time she brings home a date either. It would be great if she would wait until she had been dating a guy seriously to bring him around your daughter and you would have to prove every last guy a danger to your child to keep them away.

{{.... well about a week later she says she's taking my daughter and they are going stay at her grandma's for the weekend. I said fine and didn't think nothing of it. Well, I find out from my bank statement that she went met a guy at a RV park and spent the weekend like 3 hours away instead of going to her grandma's. Well of course I confronted her and asked nicely and she lied said she didn't go so on and so on. Then finally I get her to admit it. She still says she didn't take our daughter with her. But idk cause she is breastfeeding and don't have enough to pump and refuses to supplement formula when needed}}~~~~~~So she is still sharing your bank account? Why did you guys not split up at the bank as well. And of course, she is not going to tell you she went somewhere other than where she said she was going to be. She might think you are checking upon her. You can not be in her business all the time and it is high time you guys got separate accounts. You are lucky she did not wipe it out.

{{. Well a couple weeks go bye, I have been spending time with my daughter 3 hours at a time every couple days. That's all I get cause she can't leave her any longer because she breast feeds. She says she is going that weekend to her other grandma's to help move some furniture. Well this time I was suspicious from the time before and because she wouldn't send me any pictures of my daughter and was ignoring almost every call and text. She finally sent me a picture of her in her car seat said they had went to the store. Then the next day I asked for another pic. Got nothing. Not answering calls or texts. I was getting worried because usually she responds but i was mainly concerned for my daughter. Later that night she sends a picture finally of my daughter playing on the floor. The carpet was nasty and stained, had dirt everywhere, just nasty. I asked where she was and she said at her cousins friends house. That she was about to leave and go back to her grandma's. About 10min later she texted me. We here now. Going take a shower and go to bed. Goodnight. Well I did a little bit of digging on social media (glad I did) come to find out. She took our daughter to a hotel for the weekend so she can mess around with a 40 year old man. They had sex with my daughter on side of them sleeping. The man just got out of jail a few days before for DUI and hit and run, license suspended. And she had my daughter around him and spent the night all weekend. Of course I tried calling and texting all night, no response and even called the hotel, gave him their names and he transfered me to their room. No answer. The next morning I called her again. And she lied again, said she was leaving her grandma's. I confronted her about the hotel and that old guy she had my daughter around. After continuous lies I finally got the truth out of her. Talked to her about our daughter and her safety, and she doesn't need to put our daughter in that situation. Be a role model for your daughter and have respect for yourself. Our daughter doesn't need to meet every man you date. She says ok and she understands but I just can't trust her anymore.}} ~~~~~Okay so many things wrong here. Social media is a bad egg to begin with. While I agree that what she did was not right and exposing a baby to a dangerous person (you had no proof he was a danger to her as yet and going off social media for the information does not mean he has a DUI or had been in jail) you did not do anything right either by snoping about on her while she had the child.

{{ Especially when it comes to my daughter. That's my story so far.... she won't let my daughter stay with me overnight. Cause she breastfeeds and says she can't pump. And she refuses to supplement formula for her to stay with me. I want to be more than just a visit. I want to help raise my daughter. I want to be a parent, her father. Not just someone she comes visit for a few hours a day. And my ex usually goes somewhere every weekend. And I told her I don't want my daughter around that guy especially overnights in hotels. She says she won't bring her around him but since she can't leave the baby overnight anywheres I know for a fact she will lie again and go stay with that guy with my daughter. I been telling her all week if you wanna go see him. Leave my daughter with me or get someone in the family to watch her while you go mess around. A baby doesn't deserve that. I think it's wrong and disrespectful.}}~~~~~~While it is wrong for her to expose the child to things like this, you can not keep it from happening unless you get court ordered custody and have it spelled out in there what kind of enviornment the child needs to be in. You are basically stalking at this pointt though it is in the reference to the safety of your child.

And most of all dangerous putting your own daughter at risk in a situation like that. So what are yall thoughts and opinions on all of this.

What should I do?~~~~~Go to court for custody, visitaiton and child support.
Am I overreacting? Do you think she is wrong for doing that?~~~~~You are taking it a bit far with the social media and so on. You can not dictate her life. As for her actions she is not in the right for exposing the child to men like she is.
Should I be able to spend more time with my daughter than 3 hours every couple days and spend nights with her especially the weekends, so I don't have to worry where her mother has her at or who she has her around?~~~~You should be able to have more time with your child but she is being exclusively breast fed. You can not make her mom suppliment with formula or pump either. THat is her choice not yours. But if you want things just so you need to take it to court. That is the only way this can be fixed so you and her have equal say in the matters concerning your child.
I'm just looking for honest opinions and advice.... and your thoughts on my situation. Idk where else to turn. I'm trying to keep things out of court, but I think it might go to that. Well thanks in advance. Just a concerned father wanting what's best for his daughter. And wants to be apart of his daughters life. Not just the day

Another note: I have read a lot of similar posts from moms. Your case is not all that different other than you are dad not mom. As for your actions, she could say you are harassing her when you question her or check on her where abouts all the time. You need to get it to court and get it settled.

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Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/30/2016

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Well thank you. I appreciate that. I'm trying my best. First time dealing with all this. I have to leave for work so I can't do anything for a few weeks. But I'll start finding out everything I need to get prepared for court. It's getting worse trying to deal with her. I'm so aggravated with her, I can't even be around her without being mad. Just seeing her gets my nerves bad. And this is not good for the baby. We should be getting along. I feel like if I am nice and calm to her that she will think everything is perfectly fine and she has done nothing wrong. So that's making me not want to. I guess once we get everything settled and documented. And I sale my house or move it. Hopefully everything will settle down and get in a routine. Can't wait to spend time with my daughter. She finally slept overnight with me a few nights ago. She was so happy, laughing and playing, she only woke up crying once. And woke up a couple other times. Her mom says with her she cries and screams all the time and wakes up like 6 times a night. She is a lil angel with me everytime I have her. As soon as her mom walks in the door she starts crying. Well thanks everyone for all the advice. I appreciate it.

Anita - posted on 05/28/2016

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What a sweet dad you are - your daughter will be blessed by your love for her. That is what it SHOULD be like! I agree that the courts could help you make a clear plan for parenting. It should make you sad that her mother is exposing her to such inappropriate behavior - but the good news is that your daughter will never remember that. The power of prayer is incredible - you should try praying for her if you haven't already!

Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/24/2016

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Thanks everyone. She use to pump and store milk in the freezer but she was producing alot more then. But now she only produces only enough to feed her. So she says.... And yeah yall are right, she doesn't want to go cause she knows she is wrong and she wouldn't have anything to bribe me with anymore. And another thing today, my daughter was sitting on her and was playing. And the baby slapped her on the hand so she slapped the baby on the arm and told her don't be mean. My daughter started crying so I took her from her and told her don't hit a 9month old baby. She said I'm her mom I can do what I want and you don't know her like I do, she's always trying to be mean. I thought that was wrong for a baby that young. What do yall think about that also? Like I said I have to leave for work soon and wont have time to get everything straight with court before I leave. So I will try to work something out until then. And I guess I have too good of a heart that I'm letting her keep the car for now and agreed on paying some of the car note. I guess having a good heart isn't that good these days.

Sarah - posted on 05/24/2016

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She knows she is wrong, she does. If that kid is drinking juice, then for Pete's sake she can have a bottle or two of formula. If she never ever pumped, I suspect she has supplemented here and there. Do NOT pay that car note. You tell her you will come to the baby in your own car, she does not need a car for you to see your child.

Raye - posted on 05/24/2016

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She doesn't want it to go to court, because then she couldn't keep manipulating you. It's not right. Some parents are too self absorbed and can't be objective. The courts may not be perfect, but they do try to turn the focus to what's best for the child.

Ev - posted on 05/24/2016

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Do not give her any money towards that car. Also she is holding your child from you and that is considered parental alienation which you can use as part of your reasons for the custody being done in court. I would keep a calendar of this with dates, times and conversations and what was said. This can be used to show a pattern of your trying to get more time with the child, working out some sort of plan for visits and her not cooperating.

Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/24/2016

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Well the visit didn't go over so well. As for as the visits go with my daughter, I understand she only wants to breastfeed cause that's what we originally agreed on. So I'm not pushing the issue right now about overnights and having her a couple days at a time. She said she's gonna stop breastfeeding when she's 1yr which is on 3 months. So I'll settle for now seeing my daughter a few hours but it's gonna be hard. But I see her 4 or 5 days out the week, still not the same though. Then I told her I shouldn't be paying her car note that she can keep the car and pay it or give it back. She got mad and told me well if you take the car you not gonna see your daughter unless I say you can. At this point I told her I'm done talking to her. We will have to let the court settle this. She left now she's texting me saying she doesn't want to go to court and wants to be civil and work it out instead of going to court. I'm just getting stressed about all this and I have to leave for work next week for 3 weeks, I really can't do anything until I get back. I told her I would pay the child support and give u 300 to put towards the car note. She's is really stressing me out. it's getting to the point where just seeing her makes me mad. And I know that is not good for our daughter.

Raye - posted on 05/24/2016

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I would also advise you to get the child support and custody finalized in court. It really is a protection for the parents and the child. It's not being mean. It's to stop the manipulations and give each parent legal standing to bring charges against the other if they violate the terms of the court orders. If you don't have them, and she refuses to let you see the child, the police can't help you and you'd have a wicked court battle at that point. Best to do it all up front.

I applaud you for wanting to be a good dad and fighting for your rights to see your child. I hope you don't let the mother wear you down. Don't give up. Once it's settled in court and you fall into a routine it should get better. Just don't get all hung up on the mother's dating life and all that. You can try to get the judge to rule on whether both parents are allowed to bring romantic partners around the child, but it's not guaranteed they will include any framework for that. Just try to keep your child's best interests at heart, and I'm sure you'll do fine.

Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/23/2016

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Thanks for everything. I appreciate the advice, as long as we both keep our daughters best interest in mind. We should be able to come to an agreement. We'll just see how it goes. Thanks again.

Sarah - posted on 05/23/2016

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I hope this meeting goes well. If it starts to go off track or you find yourself defensive and beginning to engage in the "blame game" end the discussion. Then you need to seek an attorney, if you look up "father's rights lawyer" you will find one that knows how to help you navigate a custody agreement. Best of luck!

Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/22/2016

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No not offshore, I work in refineries. Turnaround work. Every job is different it can last anywhere from 1 week to 2 months. And I'm home until I find another job or have one coming up. That too can be 1 week or 1 month. And it also depends on how much money I have saved at the time if I can take longer off, When I'm home I don't work so I have all the time in the world to spend with my daughter. I might have stuff to catch up around the house but pretty much flexible. I'm still trying to get her to meet with me and for us to write down an agreement that we both agree on. And get it signed and all that stuff. She said she would Tues. so I'll see how that goes. Before I take her to actual court. Because I would rather us handle it together as adults and as parents. She still saying. Well just remember it's your fault I'm not going to have a car to take your daughter where she needs to go. I told her I'm not gonna play the blame game with you cause I can tell you that it's your fault you don't have a car because you left. I know I shouldn't get into it with her but I try to stay calm and not let her get to me. Anyway... that's what's going on right now. And she hasn't been mean or arguing with me and stuff. I think I might be the one getting upset over things and she will get mad at me saying she's been being nice all the time and I'm being rude to her. But like I told her, I haven't been doing anything. I been staying home waiting to spend time with my daughter. I haven't spent thousands of your money, I'm not bringing our daughter to hotels for the weekend. I'm not lying to you all the time. I have plenty of reasons to get upset with you but you don't have any reason to get mad at me. So of course you can be nice....... I try my hardest to stay calm and think of my daughter first. When I try having a serious talk with her, she will just laugh like it's no big deal. Or if I caught her in a lie she will just get mad and say I'm not talking about this. It's hard to have a serious conversation with her. I'm just getting stressed with the whole situation.

Sarah - posted on 05/22/2016

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She is going to learn the hard way that this little girl is not her property, to barter or loan out whenever she needs money or help. You work off-shore? For how long a stretch at a time and how long are you home? When you are home do you work or is your schedule flexible?

Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/22/2016

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Well I just told her that we need to sit down and have a serious talk and come to an agreement with the child support, visits and any guidelines we have. Write everything down and get it signed. She told me well that won't work with visitation cause you don't know when you are home and she might have a doctor's appointment. I told her we will have to work around all that. Then I told her that I don't think it's right that I'm still paying your car and stuff. She said well take the car away from me then. I won't be able to bring her anywhere. And if you taking it away from me then I want 300 a week child support starting Friday. I just told her well we will have to go to court then. So. I'll see where this ends up and see what happens.

Sarah - posted on 05/22/2016

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You can work it out outside of the courtroom, many couples are able to put the child's well being first and set up a shared parenting schedule and an agreed support amount (if any) and write it all up in detail. If they are smart (and you need to be smart) they will file a petition in family court to have a hearing before a judge. They go in, present the plan, the judge reviews it, makes any changes or fills in any gaps and then signs it, making it a binding legal agreement and enforceable by law. If you don't get the document signed, all it takes is one fight, one new boyfriend or girlfriend to upset the harmony and then you have two parents fighting over what should be settled and non-negotiable.
From what you write it does not sound like your ex wants to be amicable or compromise, so I do think you best option is to at least talk to a lawyer. A judge may force the two of you in mediation, where a third party helps you both focus on the child and hammer out an agreement you can live with. When mediation fails, sadly then it falls to the judge to decide where she will live, when she will visit, how much support will be paid etc. I do hope that somewhere along your ex will become more willing to compromise. In the mean time you gotta quit letting her bleed you dry financially.

Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/22/2016

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Well thanks for your advice and comments. And no I don't make alot of money. Hard enough just to pay bills. . I thought we might could just work everything out instead of going to court. But hearing what you said, it would be better in the long run. We would actually have something solid to go off of and get in a routine. That would be good for my daughter getting use to it. Instead of random visits here and there and not knowing what day I have her or not. And if she does refuse anything we would have paper work. And thanks for recognizing how much I care and want to be a part of her life. I hate when fathers won't take care of their child. I always told myself I would never be like that. And I also never wanted my child to have separated parents. But that didn't happen so. On to a new life with my daughter. And she does have a job but it doesn't pay alot. She's always going shopping hair nails tattoos. And then got mad at me cause I didn't want to put new tires on her car. I told her if she has the money for all that then you should have money for tires

Sarah - posted on 05/22/2016

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What you are paying is way beyond what one child would get in support unless you make a huge amount of money. I do think you need to consult and attorney, that will be your best advice and guide you thru the process. The car, clothes for her, gas and insurance are all her duty to pay. She needs to suck it up and get a job.

Ev - posted on 05/22/2016

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As far as paying for her rent, a vehicle to get around and utilities, that is her responsiblity. The only thing most men pay is child support based on income guidelines in your area or state. She needs to get a job and stop living off the money you are setting aside for the child. But still get it court ordered. It will save a lot of heart ache in the long run. I understand your worries about your child. Not many men feel that way. Good luck.

Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/22/2016

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I have my money in a separate account that she can not touch. The only money she can get is what I decide to transfer. And thanks for the info about the car and stuff. Cause I don't know how all this works and if I should be responsible for making sure she has a way to bring my daughter where she needs to. And if I stopped paying for it, if it would make me a bad father for not giving her mom a way to bring her places. I don't know if other father's pay for cars or not. .......... I was off working at the time of the break up and by the time I got home she had spent like 3k dollars on clothes and stuff from Victoria's secret, American Eagle and stuff just to name a few. I know none of them places have baby stuff. So when I got home I swapped accounts. I thought I could trust her but I was proved wrong. She acted like she did nothing wrong. And said she would pay me back. But that would be not even $100 a month she could give me. Well we was going to try and be civil and handle everything out of court but like you said. It needs to be a written agreement. As of now I'm paying her 800 a month child support plus 700 for her car. And still buying clothes and stuff. Is this normal?

Sarah - posted on 05/22/2016

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None of what you describe or are feeling is wrong. In fact I think most single moms wish the dad cared as much as you do. You really need to get this ironed out in court. You do not need to pay her car payment, and for her to manipulate you into doing so is abuse of power. She holds the power as she (and you) believe she is in charge of when and how long you get to see your child. Once you get a set child support then that can be electronically moved to an account for the child. You do not need to support your ex financially. She is an adult and adults figure it out. Now, IMO if the baby is drinking juice at 9 months, she can drink formula. The baby should not even be consuming juice anyway! Ever! If your ex has access to a joint account; I would document the amount and withdrawals very carefully. She may get mad when you spring papers for fixed support and court ordered visitation/shared custody and go drain the account. Put your money in your own account that she can not tap into. Your feelings are all reasonable, you are worried about your daughter, perfectly understandable. Now, go about fixing the matter legally, not just a written agreement, but a legal binding document.

Causeforpaws16 - posted on 05/21/2016

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Thanks. Everyone for the advice so far. The bank account situation is I have my money in a savings and for child support I transfer the money to our joint checkings. And if the baby needs anything and I'm working. I can transfer it to her. Yes, I know I was wrong for looking on social media but this is my first child and I just want what's best for her. I feel like she is my number 1 priority to make sure she's safe, happy, and has everything she needs and wants. And I don't want any negativity in her life. I know her bringing the baby to a hotel to meet someone is her choice and legally you have to prove she is in actual danger. But the way I look at it, it is disrespectful and I wouldn't do that to my daughter. But I can't control what she does. Btw I'm still paying her 700 car note and I work off so when I go to work for a month she is still gonna stay at our house. She staying at her mom's now while I'm home. And I'm paying for all the bills. Plus her child support and still buying diapers and clothes on top of that. Yes I'll help my daughter as much as possible. But she always making me feel bad saying I'm the mother of your child. You need to make sure I have a vehicle, tires, gas. So on and so on Should I be paying all that? The breast feeding thing is she isn't producing enough to pump and feed her. The baby is eating baby food and snacks and stuff. Drinking juice and all tht.

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