single mom and living with parents.....any ideas?

Chelsa M - posted on 11/18/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

55

5

5

I'm a 22 year old single mom, and I still live with my parents. I live with my dad, his new wife, her youngest daughter, and my elderly grandmother. lately, like these last few months, we can't seem to be getting along. my dad's wife's daughter CONSTANTLY starts drama (she's 13), and of course, whatever the outcome, I'm the bad person. it finally came to a head a few weeks ago when she told her mom that I was at a friend's house and her mom started an argument at the house after I shut their front door in her face and she just barged in and followed me upstairs to my friend's room. if I had somewhere else to go, I would be out of here in a heartbeat, but all my money goes to my education and my son. I'm also sick and tired of them telling me how "immature" I am when neither of them have a college degree, nor do I believe they want to get one. yes, I know I have no real job at the moment, but my job right now is working towards my degree and license so I can make a better life for my son and I. so, does anyone have any ideas on how I can get by until I can move out?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dana - posted on 11/21/2010

14

7

0

Girl, I know how you feel! I live with my mom, my grandma & my 3 year old son... (4 generations under 1 roof) & my grandma & mom drive me crazy sometimes! I try to teach my son things, & discipline him, then they don't stick with whatever Im doing. Last night my mom was going to the store & my son wanted to go... She said no, & he started crying & screaming that he wanted to go... She said no 3 or 4 times, then gave in & said ok, & they left.... I wanted to scream, because now he thinks if he throws a fit when someone says no, he can get his way!!!
Anyways- I lost my job a while back, & every penny I get is spent providing for my son.... I want to move out so bad though!!! I talked to a social worker & she had a few suggestions, so I figured Id share them with you..... See if theres any subsidized or income based apartments in your area... Also see if your state/city offer any kind of programs like HUD or section8 housing.... I know in my city, theres quite a few income based apartments, & they base your rent on how much income you have... ( I get $240 a month right now, & one apartment said my rent would be $21 a month! )
If theres no kinds of assistance where you live, my only other suggestion is to try to find a way to work part time & save as much money as you can...
Good Luck!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

17 Comments

View replies by

Kimmy - posted on 11/30/2010

121

12

7

Wow I know how you feel. I'm in pretty much the same situation. I just try to ignore it I wish I could help but I don't know what to say other than hang in there

Shorty - posted on 11/29/2010

88

9

23

There are many colleges that will give you housing because you are a single mom who is trying to finish school. you may look into it. i know that a friend of mine is a single mom also and gets special housing and childcare provided as long as she keeps her grades up.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/29/2010

57

1

6

I've been living with family for awhile now that drives me insane. I feel more intelligent, responsible and I definitely feel I have more common sense, even with my need to live with them at the moment. So I started seeing a therapist just to be able to vent and see how to deal with all of these emotions and the most helpful thing he said for this situation was that you cannot control anyone elses actions you can only control how you react. That really changed my attitude about it all. I've been less angry and there's been less fighting because I choose not to react to their ignorance or talk it out calmly if I feel up to it. Now, I get to move so I'm even more ecstatic lol.
I hope everything works out :)

Grasshopper - posted on 11/29/2010

12

6

0

hey hun at the moment im living at home im pregnant , my ex didnt ant anything to do with the pregnacy and my family told me to move home for support and to be honest it was though at the time as i was always independent and moved outta home young , I found it so difficult to adjust, but right now things are going great due in five weeks saving loads of money and we are all getten on great in the house things changed when i started to feel thankful that my family where there when the father didnt care and they supported me because they loved me and that made me so thankful and make a effort to get along with them, all family fight at some stage but that doesnt mean they dont love you i mean they wouldnt have you living under the same roof as u if they didnt care , and once you work your way to the top and get your own place and space youll be thankfull that they where there to help you get to that place :) iv feel so lucky to have mine and to be honest id be going trough this pregnacy on my own if i didnt have them right now im a real lucky girl :)

Tiffany - posted on 11/28/2010

1

9

0

i know that you do not know me or anything but i understand completly how you feel i am in the same boat

Heather - posted on 11/26/2010

3

12

1

Wow.. This is creepy. We pretty much have the same situation except I'm 26 and my 19 year old sister is only here on the weekends cause she is in college. My dad's wife she seems to like to take over when it comes to my daughter and I just recently told her You are the grandparent not the parent I can take your advice or leave it but I was appreciate it if you stop trying to be her mom. All you can do is just talk whenever you have a problem and I notice you said it doesn't work but there is really isn't much you can do but deal with it and try to get along for the sake of your son until you get done with school. As for me I will be doing the same as you until I can get into this work program to get me a career and get my butt off of social security so my daughter and I can live in our own place. I wish I could tell you it will get better there but it really won't until you're in your own place.

Krystal - posted on 11/23/2010

4

19

0

hello chelsa, I am a single mom as well living with my parents. i dont know where you live or anything but i know here there are quiet a few income based places. i have been kinda looking into some for my little girl and I. I also work part time right now trying to go back to school so i can have a better life for my baby and I as well.

Megan - posted on 11/21/2010

4

11

1

ya i know tht feeling. The grants really do help out alot. If i wasnt getting them i would probley second guess getting an education because it is expensive. When I enrolled in my first semester I looked at the total and was like damn thats expensive they better teach me something here lol

Chelsa M - posted on 11/21/2010

55

5

5

I do receive grants and loans for school Megan, but, unfortunately, I've been on medical leave, so I missed the cutoff for applying for Spring 2011. also, it's not exactly that his dad isn't in the situation, it's the fact that everything's complicated because of "outside forces" so to speak.

Megan - posted on 11/21/2010

4

11

1

A few options; I know if the dad is not in the situation or helping you can get help from the state, since you have a baby you can more than likely receive pell grants. I have daughter an d am going to school and it is covering almost all expenses. It is great that you are going back to school to beter you and your sons future.

Tabitha - posted on 11/20/2010

2

36

0

I will pray for you. I have been in the same sitution. It is really hard for so many people to live in the same house together. Hopefully, you and your son will be able to move out soon. Have you spoken with Hud or anyone. Sometimes they will help you out and some apartments base your rent on yur income if you have any. God will provide you what you need if you trust and believe he will. Praying for you and your son. May God Bless You Always.

Chelsa M - posted on 11/19/2010

55

5

5

thank you Laura. that really made me think. and good luck to you as well :)

Laura - posted on 11/19/2010

1

0

0

Hiya Chelsa, I don't really have much advise, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I too am a 22 year old single mom living with my mom and two teenage sisters, and I totally understand what things can get like all living on top of one another all under one roof. I know at low points all you want to do is have a space of your own for you and your son, as parenthood is hard enough as it is without teenage tantrums to deal with, but when you look back you'll be glad that they were there at the high points so that you had the support to allow you to continue your education. Just do what I do and just remind yourself how proud you'll feel 5, 10 years down the line when you education means you can provide for your son and you'll have a house of your own you can both make a home. Hope that helps :)

Mama Gaby - posted on 11/19/2010

17

13

3

i think you shouldt pay much attention to girl she is at an age that is bad news pay more attention to your son and education and before you know it it will be all over remember crying is only for a night and joy comes in the morning...pray also that God gives the strength you need and wisdom to handle them.at times silince is a weapon. please do not make a hasty decision that may not be beneficial to you or your son. all the best.

Chelsa M - posted on 11/18/2010

55

5

5

yes, Lashanda, I have tried talking to them, and it hasn't done a thing. and the sad thing is, I'm usually the innocent one when everything starts. thank you for the advice :)

Lashanda - posted on 11/18/2010

32

31

7

What matter the most is that you are trying to do something with your life. You are still young and with due time and the effort you are putting forth, you will be able to get your own place. Have you tried talking with them about the situation? Your dad especially. Your younger sister is at that early teen (difficult) stage and I can see why you might be having those type of problems with her. Think of a way you can handle it without it turning into a fight. By you being a lot older than her, you probably can come up with a better solution. Hope things get better for you until you can get your own place.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms