single mom lookin to move out of her moms home

Charnae - posted on 10/24/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Im a single mom with a 2 and a half yr old son and i am on ssi. I live with my mom and brother in a 2 bedroom apt. I got into an argument with my mom over dishes and it escalated out of proportion...I dont like to argue in front of my son. I try to keep a calm and collected temper with my mom...I kinda think she is miserable cuz shes always lookin to pick a fight between me and my 16 yr old brotha...she also favors him more tho....im lookin to move out and maybe out of state...if any1 knows anywhere where there is good neighborhoods and cost of living is affordable, and has all the benefits that nyc has (health coverage, dental coverage, and phycologist/therapist) please let me kno thank you...

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Georgia - posted on 01/07/2013

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Hi I'm a single mom as well and currently now living with my mom temporary. I know how you feel but like some of the other post say here...think about what's best for your child right now. If it were me I would settle my thoughts now before moving to another state. Weigh your pros and cons in this situation--Is it life threating to be in your environment now? Day Care expenses in new state? Can Mom help with care of the child while going back to school? What kind of job can I get in a new state? Get over the arguments and disagreements because there will be disagreements but their doesn't have to be arguements. Show your Mom the highest respect--communicate more with her, don't shut down. Always remember to honor your Mom and Father, your days will be longer here, I too believe that your Mom loves you--if she didn't you'll be out of her house now. I know that some of the tension is coming from your Mom taking care of you guys + brother all under one roof. Your Mom wants the best for you--maybe more than you want it and this is frustrating her. Always Charnae look at the bright side of all things. Your situation could be a lot worse--living with people who you don't know. Lastly, (this shouln't be last thou) consider how your son feels with all this tension and fussing going on between Mom and daughter. Take a stand, to create positve energy right now in your Moms' home not negative.

Gina - posted on 10/12/2012

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Hi, I know how frustrating it must be for you. Your mum might be miserable, but I think what makes her miserable, is the fact that she wished a better life for you, and not the single mom status at your young age. To me, the little bouts with her, are only normal. Evenif your re-married again, you must definitely have bouts with your partner, because, once two or more different beings live together, there can't always be harmony all time. Charnae, everyone is advising you to leave your mom, yes your old enough to live on your own, but I want you to think this over critically, mostly for your child's sake, cos its not about you anymore. Try to think about the many good things your mom has done for you and your child. Can you afford a nanny, when you wanna go on dates as a young and beautiful girl? No matter the differences, I believe your mom loves both you and your baby very much, cos if she didn't, Trust me, you'd be out on the streets, catering for your own needs. For the period you seek a source for you and your baby's livelihood, like a job and being able to afford your basic needs plus a babysitter (which don't come cheap), i advise, you calm down, and have a heart to heart with your mum, or most probably try to avoid upsetting her cos she's caring for you and your child and am sure your baby loves her too. I believe you both can resolve your differences. Remember its whats best for your child for now, and try not to forget that if you move out and eventually can't get something meaningful for you and your child, welfare will take your baby from you. Think far and wide about your decision and the effect of your decision. In all I wish you the best.

Tia - posted on 10/06/2012

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Its called welfare lady.Do you really want to be a welfare lady though? I don't think there is anything wrong with getting medicaid or food stamps if you really need it.But,it sound like you don't have much money,and in order for you to move out you will have to get the whole welfare package.I am a single mom to a 21/2 year old and I live with my mom too.She sometimes argues about little stuff and then yells at me saying if you don't like it then get out.She also critisized my appeareance one time,although I have never done that to her,but could have if I wanted.It really hurts when she says that kind of stuff to me,or accuses me of being the sole reason why my son's father is a deadbeat dad.When really mothers are not responsible for men being deadbead dad's.They can make all the excuses in the world,but there is not one good excuse for them not taking care of their kids,which brings me to my next question.Are you at least getting c/s?I get c/s and it was only$25 to file.



Despite what many people say,the c/s is never a whole lot unless your child's father is rich,but it helps.Now what you should do is make a resume and look for jobs paying close to the amout that you will need to live on your own.Don't even bother trying to move out if you can't find a job that pays you more than minimum wage.I do think that in your case you need to move though,because Ny is not the cleanest,safest,or cheapest place to live.On top of all that you got 4 people living in a 2 bedroom apartment.For me,I'm going to stay with my mom until I finish college,despite the disputes we have,because we have a nice house,plenty of space,and she helps me out so much with my son.As for you,you need to talk to some other family members in other states and see if you can move in with them and pay them rent,once you get a job.Then apply for food stamps and Medicaid,work and go to school,so you can get a good paying job someday.

Deandra - posted on 08/16/2012

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Hi Charnae,

Narrow down your search of cities/states you'd like to live in to 5. Make this decision based on important things like unemployment rate, availability of jobs in your chosen field, what state help you might be able to get and the criteria for them, average cost of child care, free activities for the two of you to do (museums, great parks) etc. You want to make sure that you and your son will be able to start off on a good foot. When you finally choose the place you want to move to, think about posting an ad on craigslist or elsewhere for another single mom roommate with a kid around the same age as your son. This will help the two of you split expenses and even give you live in child care help when you need it!

Vanessa - posted on 10/25/2010

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yeah its hard out there, me and my 23 month old son is living with my cousin, his roomate, my brother, his girlfriend, and there 2 kids all in a two bedroom house, im trying to get a better job so we can moved out.

Vanessa - posted on 10/25/2010

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i would look in to the state that you are thinking of moving to, and see if they have what you are looking for. Here in Tucson Az, we have ahcccs it covers the kids dental till they are 21, as far as housing goes, we have some pretty good areas to live in, just gotta look around. if you would like to add me feel free to add

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