Single Mom with 3 kids! Its hard and I feel like a bad mom sometimes??

Ashlee - posted on 11/10/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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HI! My name is Ashlee and i am 20 yrs old and I have 3 beautiful babies! Aubree is 3 and Chance is 1 and Lauren 2 months! I feel that I have let them down because there daddy is not around and he does not care at all for any of them.. I feel like bad mom cause i work all the time and cant give them the attention they need and spend mommy and me time with them!! Its hard and I find my brothers and my dad are really good father figures and they help out so much but sometimes I just want to let go and give up but i know i cant and I just dont know what to do anymore/.... I want a good life for my kids and i know its gonna take awhile to get there but I just want to out of my grandmas and us to be on our own but hwo i am supposed to afford all this.. do single moms get any kind of benifit on getting houses or anything??? someone please talk to me

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Desiree - posted on 11/10/2009

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Most counties have some sort of subsidized housing programs. With these programs you can get rent based on your income. Alot of time you aren't even required to work, but must be attending school instead. Usually there is a waiting list and you can only apply in the county that you already live in, but there is a way. Almost all counties will provide child care assistance for working moms or if you are attending school. Getting a place of your own is the first step, but you will still find times you feel like a bad mom. Just remember the values you are teaching your children by showing them that no matter how bad it gets you do what you have to do to make it better. That is priceless. You also need to remember to make time for yourself. Even if it is only an hour a day for you time. Even children with two parrents usually spend most of their day at daycare or away from the parrents. It is normal, and for now i'm sure they are going to be ok as long as you hang in there. Just try not to let them see you upset too much. Make the kids time a happy time. That will be what they remember

Brittany - posted on 11/11/2009

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honey ur arent a bad mom ur doing ur best and thats all u can do right now its not ur fault men are pigs, idiots, and scum bags atleast thats been my experince just keeep doing what ur doing
\and u and ur kids will be fine u will get out on ur own but right now focous on whats important and that,s ur 3 beautiful babies

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Phyllis - posted on 12/19/2012

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Hi Ashlee, I understand I raised my son alone too and he turned out to be a fine young man and living for the Lord, so there is HOPE! I was getting child support from my son's father, even though most of my son's young life his father was not active in his life, until he was alot older. Are you going to pursue child support to help you take care of your kids, they did not ask to come here and you did not get them by yourself, you owe it to your kids, not out of pity or our of desperation, but because the kids deserve that support, its a right for them, if their father has a job, that too is something to think about. YOU ARE A GREAT MOM AND THANK GOD FOR YOU FAMILY WHO IS HELPING!!!

I am not sure exactly where you live, but I know that there are housing programs in many states, you have to go online and look up the assistant housing program for you county or city and inquire. (example: Alachua County Housing Authority) is the name for my county, so look up your county or call the foodstamp office and ask them to give you information where to go or call, most housing have a waiting list, but give it a try! I hope this helps others too. Contact me if you need more encouragement.

Phyllis

Alice Monterio - posted on 12/19/2012

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I know a single mom who puchased house, then I bought a brand new house in 2007, now I know another single mom building a house. IT IS POSSIBLE! I've been a single mom since 1993, now I have an 11 year old at home. I wrote an encouraging book, "Single Mom Syndrome, Rising Above the Challenge with God's Help". It is very empowering. Avail Sping 2013. You may like reading it. Alice Monterio

Melissa - posted on 10/31/2012

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this is to women are stronger than men!!!.we cry our pain yet we stand strong!!!stay strong.b bold pick up the phone an ask for help.our kids are a part of us pick up the pieces an keep moving.

Phyllis - posted on 09/12/2012

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Absolutely right! Hey did you check out my webpage? do you think It can help you? Let me know.

Queen - posted on 09/12/2012

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Rock on! I couldn't be a single mom! they will be old enough at some point to see the truth right now they just love you for you! :)

Sahar - posted on 09/10/2012

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i am a foriegn mother of three kids,,10and 8 and almost 2 years old..i live here by myself ,,,i dont have freinds close by or family..i go to school now..but the day that one of them get sick i need to skip school to stay home with them and take care of them...i want to find a good job after school,and i always think how it gonna work ,,,if this happen while am working...because u know,,the emloyers dont understand that ,they only want their work done whatever happens...i am very worry...help me find a solution...please..

Shannon - posted on 11/13/2009

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Listen, I am a single mom of a 3 year old little girl, and have been doing it from the time she was 3 months old. Worked midnight the first year of her life and kept going from there.....and this little girl I lovemore than anything in this world. I have three jobs, one full time and two part time and yes it is hard and I feel like I abandon her at times, but if I dont work she does not get the things she needs in life.....Yes my love is free, and hugs and kisses and bed time stories....And that is what quality time is.......u as a mom will always have and make time for them, no matter how tired, hungry or whatever......NO MATTER WHAT. Dont be so hard on urself......Enjoy the kisses and hugs as u leave the door in the morning and EMBRACE them when u walk in at ngt. They will love u and understand why u have to work.......As far as housen check in ur area with Dept of Social services and Community action.......There is help out there.....And remember NO MATTER WHAT UR LOVE FOR UR CHILDREN WILL PUSH U THRO ANY HARD TIME U GUYS FACE AS A FAMILY........Let me know if u want to talk or im........hope this helps Shannon

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i feel exactly the same way u feel sometimes...im so stressed sometimes i feel like i wrap myself up in that so much that it affects my kids. their dad is the same way ...he wont pay support or see them he says he wants to see them and then he never shows or he just calls to hurt me even more and make me feel worse about myself then i already do...but im optimistic this is all happening for a reason right? i just got a new job and for once i feel like im doing something positive..other than leanin an abusive husband...but then im also scared that i will neglect being with them too since i have always been there for them and now i feel like they will think that i am running away...arianna asks me everytime i leave mommy always comes back its so sweet but so sad that i have to remind her that i always will come back.....there is a way to get help for housing just email me sometime and i will tell u more...dont be so hard on yourself we only live once and our kids are only little for so long and i bet they love their mommy so much i just hope once they get older they will realize how much we have always cared and loved them...take care and if u need anything email me anytime on fb.

C Ann - posted on 11/11/2009

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Yes, being a single mother is a tall task, but there are too many great examples of sucess to give up. We have the greatest example of perseverance in our President. I am a single mother of two and put myself through law school full-time and worked full-time without the help of family so know that you can do it. Trust me there were times when I felt like the worse mom in the world because I was always stressed trying to meet some type of deadline, whether it was school or work but my children were my inspiration. I accepted the fact that I was going to have to sink or swim and I chose to swim (sometimes dog-paddling, but nevertheless staying in the race). You can do it. This should be your new mantra. Tell yourself every day "I can do it with Christ who strengthens me."

Karmen - posted on 11/11/2009

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Being a single mom of 3 is very hard. Don't give up! I have 3 myself...14, 12, & 7. It has been a rough road but all worth it. There are all kinds of govt programs to help you out & get you on your own.

Jammie - posted on 11/11/2009

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I know how you feel. I am in the same situation, except my kids are 4 and 13. It is very hard. I have my own place and work all the time. My sister watches my children while I work. I wish that I had more time to spend with them, but I need to earn money to provide for my children. I know in the end that they will understand that I am trying my hardest for our family. I would love to have more time for my children also. I need to do what I think is best for now and that is to provide for my children. Hang in there. Hopefully in the end, they will know that u tried your best.

Shereese - posted on 11/10/2009

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Hi Ashlee. Good thing you are working towards providing a better life for your kids now and before they turn 5. They probably wont remember you being so busy during their early years. There are all types of programs available for single moms. You can apply for affordable housing, temporary cash assistance and even food stamps to help you out temporarily. There are even a few colleges/universities you can attend for free. Thank god you have family to help you. And have you thought about filing for child support? It helps. You're not a bad mom. If you were a bad mom you wouldn't be asking for help. I dont know what state you're in, but go online and go to your state's department of social services website and get their office locations and apply for help immediately. And whatever you do, don't give up. I have a sister that is a single mom of 4 and the oldest one is deaf. Could you imagine? Keep your head up, talk to your local socials services office and stay in prayer. And keep us updated. Good Luck :)

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2009

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Ok so I am 26 with 3, Alexys is 6, Tyler is 3 and Kaeden will be 2 in Jan. Their dad and I just split a few months ago cuz he is an addict...he just went a whole month of not seeing his kids and now he wants too! I am currently staying with my sister, I just got a job last month! It is very hard every day but we as moms have to do whats best and our kids will grow up and learn we did what we had to do to get by! There is low-income housing and rent is based off of your income and family size!! Or getting on the waiting list for section-8! But find low-income apartments and get your name on the waiting list! I have to pay an eviction off that their daddy caused before I can even get on a waiting list...yay for me!

Morgan - posted on 11/10/2009

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I know how you feel. I am in the same situation. I have a 11 month old son and I live with my parents. I am going back to school and hoping to be out in a few years. I am not sure about the housing. I have been doing research on it and I know that there is housing benifits out there it just takes a lot of researching to try and find it. WIC program helps. Sorry I can't help anymore.

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